My 3 yr old doesn't want to sleep

[sentimentalgirl]

I can't put my 3 yr old sleep.....I don't know what to do anymore???  I ended up crying last night (after she fell asleep) because I'm totally exhausted!!!!!  

She's been in a big girl bed for the last 6 months or more.  She used to go to sleep no problem....but lately (maybe the last 2 months), I can't put her to bed.

She naps only some days for maybe 30-60 min (at the day care).
She wakes up at around 7:30-8am.

I usually start putting her to bed at around 8:30 (I know...very late!) and it takes me maybe 1 hour to make her sleep.

Between 7:30-8:30: We do bath (not every day), we watch some tv (is that bad?) and we also read books before she goes to bed.  

Once I put her to bed, the horror starts.....she leaves her room many times or she keeps on calling me (asking me to fix her blanket, give her kleenex to blow her nose, etc).  So I'm constantly going to her room.
She also likes her lamp on and the door opened.

It gets to the point when I get very upset...and she starts crying.....and then it gets even worse.  

I don't know how to keep her in the room and how to make her stop calling me all the time.  If she calls me and I don't come, she comes out of the room.
I also want her to be asleep by 8pm or so....but I don't know how to do it.  I guess I need to start the whole routine by 6:30-7pm?

Also, my husband....she is his little princess....he would do anything for her.  And I think  sometimes we don't agree on things when it comes to bed time....
and that's another problem. we need to be on the same page.....

Please help me...i can't take it anymore!!!!!

I should also mention that she was always easy at bed times...when she was a baby. Never had problem faling asleep by herself.

[~Karen~]

Hugs!  We've gone through this a few times with ds1 and it's usually down to OT.  I'd try and get her to bed earlier and see if that helps.  What worked for us in the end was introducing a star chart for 'going to bed nicely'.  The star would 'appear' in the night (when I went to bed!) and he started saying it was a magic star and was very excited when one appeared in the morning.  He choose his own target (swimming/play place) and when he got his stars we went on his trip.  Worked wonders in this house 

[sentimentalgirl]

sorry I'm so new to this...what is OT?

And how exactly did you do the chart? You can PM me if you want.

thanks!

I was reading what people wrote here....but I couldn't find anything on what to do when they leave the bed and come out of the room....
Do you just bring them back to bed every time they come out? Should I be standing behind the door and everytiime she opens it, walk her back?

I'm so tired of this...and how is trying to 'extend' the time so she doesn't have to sleep....i feel like i have no energy left in me.

[Roseii]

hi there have you tried a gro clock? And does she have a gate on her door? x

[~Karen~]

OT is overtired.  We printed a chart off the internet and bought some star stickers.  Made a big deal over his day out he was working towards.  A couple of times when he dragged bedtime out he didn't get one and was disappointed when he woke up the following morning.  

Do you just bring them back to bed every time they come out? Should I be standing behind the door and everytiime she opens it, walk her back?

Yeah, I'd say that's probably the best thing to do.  I know some people try a stair gate if that's an option for you so she can't leave the room?  

[sentimentalgirl]

No, I don't have a gate at her room. I never had to use gates...even with the stairs...I just thought her to be careful around the stairs. 
I could use the thing you put on the door handle so they can't open the door (I was about to use it last night) but she got so upset....And I just don't think I want to lock her up in the room without her being able to come out.

No, I haven't tried the clock. Is it good? I could get it and try it out....

Karen: So you would just put a star sticker on the chart every day? in the morning?

[~Karen~]

No, I haven't tried the clock. Is it good? I could get it and try it out....

We haven't used a groclock but have a light on a timer that goes on in the morning so he knows when it's time to get up.  This helped us with ew but don't think it would have made much of a difference for bed time issues though.

So you would just put a star sticker on the chart every day? in the morning?

He only got the star if he didn't mess around at bedtime too much.  I'd put the star on when I went to bed so it was already there in the morning when he woke up.

[sentimentalgirl]

that's what i was thinking too...that the clock would help in the morning but not in the night. we have no problem in the morning...she sleeps till 7-8am.

i think the chart is worth of try!

so if she leaves the room...and i bring her back to bed...should i be talking to her, explaning her AGAIN that she needs to sleep? or is it better to take her quickly and not talk much?

she thinks it's a game....!!!!!!

[~Karen~]

I'd like to say I'd keep taking them back with no talking but the way I get wound up I'm sure I wouldn't find that possible!  I didn't let ds1 come out of a cot until he was nearly 4 so we didn't really have that issue.  With dd if she ever came out I'd just take her back and give her a cuddle and tuck her back in but she never really played up.

[sentimentalgirl]

if she cries....and doens't want to sleep...once i take her back to her room. should i stay with her till she stops crying or should i leave?

but then when i leave, she oftens comes after me and comes out of the room again...

sometimes i stay for a bit but sometimes i leave...
should i stay till she falls asleep?

[~Karen~]

It's up to you.  I couldn't do that but I have two other lo's that I have to put to bed so staying hasn't really been an option.  You can either try gw or wi/wo

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