Feed to sleep for naps if tackling bedtime?

[ellenjess]

Hello

My DD is a week or so off 5 months and is on an EASY routine of sorts, except she feeds to sleep.  I'm trying to stop that.  Unless she's in the car or pushchair, she cries if not fed to sleep for naps.  I plan to start teaching her to self settle at bedtime on Monday night (using shh/pat, although I don't envisage it being easy - she has been sucking-to-sleep since birth) but what should I do about naps?  Is it best to keep naps the same for now so that she isn't over-tired for what could be a stressful bedtime? Or is it best to go 'cold turkey' and just have a no more sucking-to-sleep rule? 

I've read lots of great info on here, particularly about having a calming wind-down to nap time, which I will definitely do. I just know that DD is going to find the transition difficult while she learns this new skill so I want to make it as straight forward for her as possible.

Thanks for your help 

[eshea]

Hi ellenjess,

I'm sure someone here can offer better advice, but for my own kids I feel like I have to tackle one problem at a time.  However, your problem isn't isolated to the evening, right?  Since it's an issue for naps and night I think you might have to go cold turkey otherwise she will wonder "why is it okay for naps, but not for night?"  It will be tricky but you'll be amazed how quickly they can learn the new skills.

Does she suck a paci or her fingers for soothing at all?

[ellenjess]

Thanks eshea.  Yeah, I don't want to confuse her so maybe cold turkey it is.  I have to keep reminding myself that this is just somethign new to needs help to learn.

She won't take a paci, and now we've got to this stage, I think I may just stop trying (I was only half trying anyway).  She does suck her fingers and thumb - she especially likes her thumb through her bib or another cloth.  I trying to think of a lovie that allows her to do this (maybe a face cloth..?)  She has a teddy lovie that she likes to suck the ears on.

[creations]

I think introducing a lovie is a great idea.  My DS uses a muslin square (so there's always plenty of clean ones which is great for when they want to chew and suck on it!) as a lovie, he rubs his face with it and also sucks and chews on it, he particularly likes the label (I believe many LOs love labels on cloths or toys!).
If you introduce the muslin whilst feeding and cuddling she will become accustomed to it and you might be able to encourage her to self sooth by sucking her thumb whilst holding the muslin, or like you said through the muslin rather than feeding to sleep.

With regards the feeding to sleep prop.  I suggest you tackle all naps and BT at once.  Initially you only need to introduce a short awake time between the feed and the sleep.  Even a few seconds or a minute will begin to break the habit gently.  Try to keep her awake for the whole feed, if she starts to nod off tickle her feet, cheek etc, or take the bottle away.  A nappy change is usually a good way to get your LO to wake up between feeding and sleeping, followed by a cuddle, a key phrase or song and soothing to sleep with shush/pat.

I suggest beginning with the first nap of the day rather than at BT.  With the first nap of the day you will have more energy to help your LO through this change in habit.  It also gives several opportunities to practice falling to sleep without feeding prior to the BT sleep.  You never know, by BT it could be a breeze.
good luck

[ellenjess]

Thanks Creations.   I'm encourgaed that both of you think breaking the habit for naps and bedtime at the same time is the best plan. It does make sense. Like you say, it gives her chance to get used to the new regime before bedtime sets in.  (and gives me chance to see how it goes)

I think I'll give the muslin a go...I'd worried that it would be too big - what if it goes over her face...but actually it's so light it won't matter and she can easily manipulate a muslin now.

Thanks!

We have a lot on tomorrow so we're doing whatever for an easy life but as of Monday, we start.  I feel ready.

[creations]

You can cut a muslin into a smaller square (some are sold very small too) if you are worried about the size.
If you are at all concerned about leaving something with her in her cot then don't leave anything.  You must put her safety first.  I encouraged attachment to the muslin with DS from day 1 but I never left him to sleep with it alone until I felt totally totally sure he had full control of it (I think this was around 5 months).  It may be possible to let her fall to sleep with the muslin and then remove it, I did this for a long time.
Another idea would be some scratch mits, if she likes to suck her thumb through cloth, I am sure scratch mits must be safe I've never read anything to the contrary.

good luck for monday

[ellenjess]

I put a sock over her hand last night to see if she'd suck her thumb through that.  She did, but only before bed and in the morning, she forgot it was there in the night.  I hadn't thought about halving a muslin (you are full of good ideas!!!). 

thanks

[creations]

Keep us posted, it's always good to hear how weaning goes with various methods etc
x

[eshea]

Good luck today!  Hopefully your LO will catch on quickly.  The lovey sounds like a good idea.  My son just started taking to his more, and it also keeps him busy in his crib in the am when he wakes  up happy.  They can be so useful!