Early waking or night waking?

[TiffanyT]

I've been BWing my DS since birth, but still have some questions regarding several items. It has been fairly successful, he goes down with minimal fussing (unless he's OT) but I'm confused on some things. I BF, he uses a paci and is swaddled for all sleep. They may not all fit in this category, but this is the one that I'm most concerned about. Just FYI - I BF, he uses a paci and is swaddled for all sleep.

1. I'm BFing and he's still waking randomly in the night (although the 1 am feed is becoming more consistent recently). I understand that if it's at random times, it's due to hunger so I don't try to soothe without feeding. I do not DF because I didn't see it as effective, but in reading another post about it I now understand that it may take a week to be effective so I may try again. Anyhow..my issue is that he seems to be waking between 5 - 6 am and is wide awake, so I've been getting up with him.  During all NF he goes right to sleep in my arms, even when I burp him, and stays asleep until the next wake, so it's unusual that he is very awake so early. It seems like a NF but then he realizes he's not tired after he eats. His bed time is 7-7:30. Putting him to bed later has not helped (I didn't expect it to) and it's fairly consistent whether or not he had great naps that day or not. Any insight?
2. He often (but definitely not always) seems to need his paci popped back in within 45 mins of falling asleep for a nap and sometimes when he goes to bed. If I get it back in in time, most of the time he will fall back asleep and stay asleep, not needing it popped in again. Is this a prop?
3. I don't know what his mantra cry is. Because we often have such success resettling him as soon as we hear a noise, we don't wait to hear it.  Should I? I've definitely tried to let him cry sometimes, but I have never ever identified a mantra cry. Am I interfering with his self-soothing, or is it good that he settles easily but with help?

Any insight to these issues would be very appreciated.

[Bex09]

Hi there and welcome to the boards. Can I just ask how old your DS is?

[TiffanyT]

Sure! He is 3.5 months and I'm struggling at times to get him to a 3.5 hr EASY. Thanks!

[Bex09]

OK well first off it might be worth letting him try to self settle a little and see if you can pick up on his mantra cry. If at any point it gets louder and more urgent then go to him straight away, usually a mantra cry stays at the same pitch and doesn't get louder, higher, faster, etc. My DD's wasn't actually a cry, it was more like her saying "whaaaa, whaaaa, whaaaa" over and over and it had a pattern to it, sort of rhythmical yk? By jumping in too quick you may be stopping him from self settling, but when they are so young it is hard to tell the difference I know.

The paci is probably not a prop yet if he doesn't always need it, but by replugging to settle him it could soon become a prop. I know from experience. My DD still has hers for sleep now, the dummy fairy will have to visit us soon! If you are OK with this then by all means use it to resettle, you could maybe try taking it out before DS is in a deep sleep or as you are now not giving it to go to sleep all the time. The 45 min waking and needing resettling are developmental really and probably as your DS transitions between sleep cycles.

As for the EW, some babies are just early risers, especially if your EASY makes no difference to your DS's WU time. All you can do is try to treat it as a NW and feed and see if he will go back to sleep. If your DS is sleeping from 7pm until 6am then that isn't really classed as an EW, as only anything less than a 10 hour night is an EW. Know it doesn't feel like that if you are up at 5am though! HTHs.

[TiffanyT]

Wonderful thanks for the feedback. Despite reading many many posts, I still often feel like I don't know what I'm doing.

I will try to leave him a little longer and see if he starts to either self settle or go into a mantra. I find that it starts out like "talking" or grunting (often fighting his swaddle as he does), almost like grunting, then cooing, then almost crying and leading to a few cries...which is why I don't think it's mantra because it's definitely not rhythmic. It escalates quickly. I use a velcro SwaddleMe so it's rarely an issue of him getting out of it.

About the paci - I see many people trying to take it away now to not have it become a prop, but I just find it gives him so much comfort that I don't want to take it and I don't mind if he has it. I know I may live to regret this but I don't think it's "bad" for a LO to have it just for sleeping.

Do you think he might grow out of the 45 minute wake?

I hear you on the EW, it just seemed for a while that it was getting earlier and earlier...6:30 one day, 6 the next, 5:30 and then one day it was 4:50! I'm hoping he will settle on 6:30 eventually

[Bex09]

I totally agree that if you are OK with the paci becoming a prop then stick with it. I also made that decision that I would rather my DD had that to soothe her... and yes it became a prop, but we did loads of daytime practice at replugging and she could replug herself at about 6 months... so no longer a prop then.

I also think that your DS will learn to get over the 45 minute hurdle yes. As babies get older and sort out their sleep patterns they just seem to grow out of it. Things really started falling into place for us around the 4 month mark and naps got much longer at around 6 months. My DD had reflux though and was an awful sleeper!

You seem to know that your DS's cry isn't his mantra and you are so right to go to him if it escalates. It sounds to me like you know exactly what you are doing hun. Try not to worry to much, his sleep will get better with age, he is still only so little.

[TiffanyT]

Wonderful thanks again for your help! I feel very relieved to know that you agree with what I'm saying

The pic of your DD is adorable BTW.