Quick tips please: 2 yo wonky sleep, very confusing!

[weaver]

My LO has been a very good sleeper til recently.  He settles independently and was used to go off like clockwork, pretty much around the same times every day with a good nap and a solid night's sleep.  We seem to have lost that predictability!  He has been sick recently and getting some teeth so I was making allowances for strange sleep during that time.  But we're clear of that for at least a week and now I'm getting very confused as to whether he's OT/UT or just clowning around...he's been doing lots of uncharacteristic chatting to himself when put to bed (or maybe it's a new characteristic!) which to me is OT.  He has definitely gone up a gear developmentally in the last two weeks.  And, fyi, before he got sick I had started capping his nap because of EWs and slightly funny BTs.

What's really confusing me is the past couple of days.  Finally managed to get him to sleep at a decent hour on Tuesday and he slept almost 12 hours Tuesday night (19.25-7-05).  Then he skipped his nap on Wednesday (was in the cot chatting for over an hour), got him to bed at 18.40 on Wednesday night and, with a little help, he was asleep by 19.00.  He woke up on Thursday around 7.20, napped from 12.45 to 14.00 (I woke him up to try to protect his BT).  Planned to get him in the bed by 19 but DP arrived home and it went a bit later (19.15ish).  He then chatted til 20.45 and needed help to settle... woke up this morning around 7.15.  Obviously tired this morning, talking about going for his nap  , and asleep by 12.15.  Once he gets to sleep on these chatty nights, he stays asleep, though I did hear him whimper at some point last night, I think he wasn't awake, perhaps just restless.

So my immediate question is: will I just let him have 2 hours this nap time to try to break the OT?  And then early BT tonight?  Anything else you can think of very welcome!

[<Catherine>]

So my immediate question is: will I just let him have 2 hours this nap time to try to break the OT?  And then early BT tonight?

I would say so yes. He does sound quite OT.

This is a hard age sleep-wise, and I found my DS's sleep needs were changing constantly - it may be that he now needs his longer naps back (.....only to then decide he doesn't in a few weeks time ).

[weaver]

Thanks, Catherine.

I let him sleep yesterday afternoon.  He woke up after 1.5 hours.  Then he was in bed by 19h and asleep by 20.15 (lots of chatting, crowing etc, argh).  That meant he'd added 15 mins in the afternoon and gone to sleep 30 minutes earlier.  He slept for 10.5 hours (til 6.45).  So we're still in OT territory, as he's always been a keen sleeper, but getting better.  Went down like a stone for his nap just now, will leave him to sleep and will see what he does.  EBT still on the cards for tonight.

Think you're right about this being a bit of a moving target.  And we're very lucky he isn't upset at BT!

[clairebear79]

can I follow along?  I don't have any useful advice but we are having a similar wonky situation with our 19month old DS so interested to see what advice you get. 

I am capping his nap at 1.5hrs b/c it seems he favours naptime to night sleep!  We are also having lots of chatter at BT & 10.5hr nights, & of course after a few days of this he's gotten all OT, but we are coming to the conclusion that its down to DS being UT.  He's doing a similar nap to your DS (12.30-2) & we've just pushed his BT out to 7.30pm.  Day 1 he slept like a dream all night & I woke him at 7.15am.  Yesterday he didn't settle til 7.40pm & was up at 6am today.  The only difference between the 2 days is that he had a much shorter AM A time yesterday (b/c of the later WU).  So I'm wondering if he needs a bit longer in the AM now too.  Trouble is that makes for a really long day for DS.  So it seems the only way to go may be to cut the nap more. 

So tricky trying to balance it all isn't it?

[weaver]

So tricky trying to balance it all isn't it?

Yes it is!  It's blinking maddening!  But, I am trying to hold on to the fact that he's not upset at BT, just chatting, so really our situation is not so bad.

I'll come back and let you know how we do today.  He's still napping so we're over the 1.5 hour mark...who know what that means!

[weaver]

Sorry I haven't been back with updates.

It's looking at the moment like he really wants that 2 hour nap in the day.  So I think we'll be going with 2 hour nap, or as long as he goes up to 2 hours but not longer unless for extraordinary reasons, and accept that he chats himself to sleep.  If he's doing a 2 hour nap then an 11 hour night (from 8ish til 7ish), he will be happy, I hope. 

We have tried putting him to bed a bit later, in the spirit of accepting that he doesn't go to sleep til 8ish, but have found that leads to him staying awake for even longer rather than cutting his chatting time. So everything points to him needing to be in bed early enough settle himself by 8.  It's bizarre behaviour for him but, then again, it's been going on for a while now so clearly isn't a fluke!

[clairebear79]

It's looking at the moment like he really wants that 2 hour nap in the day.  So I think we'll be going with 2 hour nap, or as long as he goes up to 2 hours but not longer unless for extraordinary reasons, and accept that he chats himself to sleep.  If he's doing a 2 hour nap then an 11 hour night (from 8ish til 7ish), he will be happy, I hope.

Its funny you say this, b/c this is what I am finding with my DS too.  He is really struggling with the shorter nap.  So we are pushing his BT out to 8pm.  Are you going to carry on putting him down at 7.30pm & let him chat for 30mins though?  Or are you going to put him in bed just before 8 in hopes he'll settle quickly?  We're going to try the latter.  I'm still a little worried that with the 2hr nap he will wake at 6am meaning just a 10hr night, but we will see!

[weaver]

And then....

it was revealed to me that the two hours naps over the weekend were associated with EWs (so sleep by 20h but awake before 7).  (He was away with his dad visiting grandma which is why it was a little bit of mystery.)  Yesterday he did a 1.5 hour nap, bed by 19h, asleep by 20h and woke up at 7.20 this morning. Asked to go for a nap around 12 and was asleep at 12.15.  I'll wager it'll be a 1.5 hour nap again today and the plan is to get him into the bed by 19 again.

Who knows if a pattern is going to emerge at any point: I have my fingers crossed for 1.5 hour nap and after 7 am WUS.  But at this point I'm merely an observer!