Author Topic: I'm finally asking for help :(  (Read 1098 times)

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Offline ~*~Little Miss Sunshine~*~

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I'm finally asking for help :(
« on: February 26, 2012, 18:12:37 pm »
I have become a prop for my DD :(  She needs me to stand next to her with my hand on her back until she falls asleep.  Otherwise she screams bloody murder :(  I've started GW but I must not have done it right because she's worse now.  I can't even sneak out of her room before she's asleep or she sits straight up and screams.And it's been months....I've finally at my wits end!

It started when she was around 7 months - I had just started back to work full time and she was at day care so of course sick all the time (congestion, 3 ear infections, etc).  So she's almost 13 months old now and I can't remember the last time I put her down and just walked out of the room  :-[  She really was such a great sleeper and I was so thankful for that.  I know that I've caused this mess but I just don't know how to fix it.

I just tried WI/WO for naps and it took 45 minutes of it before she finally fell asleep.  Lots of screaming :(  I know she doesn't understand.  Am I even doing the right thing? 

Please help!!!

TIA!!





Offline Buntybear

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Re: I'm finally asking for help :(
« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2012, 20:20:12 pm »
Hi, Olly is two and he needs someone with him at BT to go to sleep!  ::)

Your LO has been through a lot in the last few months. Some major upheavals and I bet a big dose of teething in there too. I am not one for leaving a baby to cry (even when you are there with them) and so GW takes forever with us too.

I think others will say consistency is key. Do the same thing at naps and BT. For us, naps are easier and he is independent mostly for them.

So you still have a hand on her back? I would stick with that for naps and BT. Each time just take some pressure off. Eventually you will just have a finger lightly on her back. Then take it away completely. Then just back away from her cot until you are out the door. Some babies like verbal reassurance, some don't. See what your LO likes.

This process may take, days, weeks, months  :o but it will be worth it  :-*

Good Luck

Offline ~*~Little Miss Sunshine~*~

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Re: I'm finally asking for help :(
« Reply #2 on: February 26, 2012, 20:39:13 pm »
That's what I was thinking - I've not had to do GW before and I thought we were doing well but like I said, it's all gone to pot (and I did give up for a bit too when she was teething/sick again).  I will be consistent with the GW.





Offline ~*~Little Miss Sunshine~*~

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Re: I'm finally asking for help :(
« Reply #3 on: February 26, 2012, 20:41:25 pm »
Oh and how long should each "stage" last?   A few days?  A week?  Or does it depend on her reaction.  I did get to the point before where I could lie her down, put my hand on her for just a minute, take it off and stand next to her crib.  I just never got any further than that (and of course am not near that stage right now ::) )





Offline Shiv52

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Re: I'm finally asking for help :(
« Reply #4 on: February 26, 2012, 20:43:12 pm »
I'd go for GW too lovely.  Its been a while since she's been going down independently and therefore WI/WO would probably be too much for her to handle.  

I would start too with sitting by her and hand on back until she is asleep for a day.  I would start to get that faded fairly quick though and  tomorrow start removing your hand for a bit and just sitting beside her.  Then a few days like that then fade even further so you aren't touching her at all.  Then start to move toward the door.  

{{{{hugs}}}  





Offline Shiv52

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Re: I'm finally asking for help :(
« Reply #5 on: February 26, 2012, 20:44:45 pm »
Posted with you.  you do judge it on her but the trick is to not let any 'stage' become a prop so you do have to push them a little as the nights and sleep times go on otherwise it can end up a really long process where they get used to one way and then you try to up the ante again and its all upset again.  So I would say move things on fairly consistently as the days go on.

HTH x





Offline ~*~Little Miss Sunshine~*~

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Re: I'm finally asking for help :(
« Reply #6 on: February 27, 2012, 00:30:06 am »
Thanks Shiv!!

Tonight I put her down, laid my hand on her back for a bit.  She sat up a couple of times, I told her to lie down and she did LOL  After maybe 10 minutes I took my hand away.  She wasn't sleeping yet, but she was in the "zone."  Since she didn't seem to notice I stepped away from the crib and stood for a minute, then did it again until I was out the door. 

Question though - what do I do when I finally put her down with no hand on her back and she stands up crying? 

I really do appreciate the help.  Honestly it didn't bother me to be up with her for 5 minutes and leave, but it's just way too long now and I end up leaving the boys alone for 30 - 45 minutes every night as my DH doesn't get home until long after DD is asleep :-\  Makes it tough....





Offline Shiv52

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Re: I'm finally asking for help :(
« Reply #7 on: February 27, 2012, 22:53:13 pm »
Hopefully with the GW she won't do that as she'll be used to it.  So given that tonight was such a success I'd try the same tomorrow and if that goes well reduce the hand on the back to 5 minutes and see can she get herself the rest of the way to sleep. 

Do you have a sleepy phrase that you use?  That way if she does cry you just go back say your sleepy phrase resettle briefly then fade out again.

{{{hugs}}}}





Offline ~*~Little Miss Sunshine~*~

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Re: I'm finally asking for help :(
« Reply #8 on: March 02, 2012, 01:12:01 am »
Thank you!  I will always tell her to lie down, it's sleepy time.  Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't.  Tonight went really well (surprisingly).  I fed her as normal, put her down, covered her up and let her be.  She didn't whine or fuss or even look to see if I was still there!  So after only a couple of minutes, I walked out!

I'm sure it's because she was put to bed a little later than normal, but hey, it's been a long time since I've been able to do that!!