Will baby ever stop crying before sleep?

[Hawkeyeboots]

I have been doing the E.A.S.Y routine for about 6 weeks now. My baby boy is 12 weeks old. It's helped immensely in terms of getting him to sleep at night, and he only wakes once at 3:30 or 4am to eat in the night. The problem is, he fights sleep EVERY time we try to put him down for a nap. Every nap is a 15-20 minute struggle, with him screaming and crying before finally passing out from exhaustion. Then he typically will wake after 45 minutes and I repeat the process again, so I basically deal with the screaming/crying/pat-shh routine 2 times per nap. Will he EVER stop crying before naps on the E.A.S.Y plan? It really wears on me to see him so upset before every nap.

Here's our typical day:

Wake 7:30

Eat 7:30-8:00

Activity 8-8:30

Sleep (including wind-down/crying) 8:30-10:30

E:10:30-11

Activity 11-11:45

Sleep 11:45-1:30

Eat 1:30-2

Activity 2-2:45

Sleep 2:45-4:30

Eat 4:30-5

Activity 5-5:30ish

Catnap 5:30ish to 6ish

Eat 6:30-7:00

Activity (bedtime routine) 7:00-7:30

Bed 7:30

Dream feed: 10:30



Any suggestions? Is this something he will eventually grow out of?

[Miamamma]

 I'm definitely no expert but I just wanted to let you know that my lo was exactly the same when she was that age. She seemed incapable of going to sleep without crying (even if i held her to sleep) and it really got me down. Once I realised that she cried whether she was being held or in her crib, I perservered with sh/pat in the crib and gradually she improved. Now, provided that I get her A time right (the more experienced peeps should be able to help you with this) she goes to sleep without crying or maybe 30seconds of whinging.
Could your lo have reflux issues? It may be why he doesn't like lying down...
If it isn't related to discomfort then hopefully he will grow out of it like my bub.
Hth 

[Hawkeyeboots]

Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone! I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Sometimes I think my LO hates the shh/pat and that it just gets him more upset. Lately I've been trying to just keep one hand on his chest and one hand on his back while shhing, and I think he prefers that to the patting.

How long did it take before you noticed your lo getting better with the shh/pat method? I feel like after 6 weeks it shouldn't still be such a battle!

[michaeljacknnugg]

Hey there,

Nearly 4 years on I still remember that time, DS was exactly the same. Cried himself to sleep no matter what I did, and it made me feel so awful.

We had to go out every day to look after our horses so his morning nap tended to be in the pushchair at the yard (most other naps at home). I found that this was the first place he learned to go to sleep without crying, and then the rest followed. By 6 months he was an independent sleeper.

I found that shh/pat was too much stimulation for my DS as he is Spirited. When he was still screaming I did hold and rock him (in the rocking chair), so that he knew I was there for him, but I also sang to him. In a bit of a monotone, therefore boring, but so that through his cries he was aware that I was still there. As time went on I could take away the physical element of my presence and just sing to him, and then we progressed to independent sleep. For me the trick was knowing when he was ready for me to take that next step away from him.

[Hawkeyeboots]

My boy is definitely a Spirited baby, too! Hopefully by 6 months he'll have settled a bit. Today he's woken 1-2 times per nap and I had to shh/hold him each time. He hates going to sleep. It's just really hard on me watching him get so upset - face red, screaming, voice getting horse. I wish I knew that this would eventually stop...even if it takes another few months, I'm ok with that, but not knowing if it will get better is really tough.

[lidiayy]

DD2 also used to scream before naps. I recall having the feeling I was "forcing" her to sleep because I didn't want to build up OTness, so BTDT. 
All I have to say is that it will get better.
At your LO's age, it was hard to understand how she wanted to be put down. On some days, she just hated sh/pat so I would rock her until falling asleep. On other days, just patting her was enough.
Now that she is almost 5 mo, she's an independant sleeper (shh... don't say it too loud, as it's been only 2 days!  ) Whenever she's ready to nap, she starts to fuss, whine and I  just have to tell her that she's tired that I'll put her down. I give her the pacifier and her lovey and she settles down by herself.
So hang in there, it will get better.
HTH

[creations]

Hi there
I see you already had some advice and support here, I totally agree with the pps that your LO WILL eventually go to sleep without crying.  Up to around this point your Lo has been focusing on how to sleep at night, from here up to around 6 months he will be working out how to do it in the day.  At around the 6 month mark many LOs nap much more easily.  This doesn't necessarily mean that your LO is going to cry until 6 months though, nor that he will never cry after 6 months

It looks to me like he is protesting (very loudly) about not being ready for sleep yet.  I would extend his awake time.  I know it is hard to judge an A time when you have the crying and fighting sleep to factor in but try to aim for more like 1hr 20 or 1hr 30 (in your EASY your first A is only 1hr, he is likely UT).
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64158.0

You could also experiment a little with wind down times.  Tracy suggested 20 mins wind down to get LO nice and sleepy and calm before putting in the cot awake, my DS liked a 2 min wind down and any more than that and he'd kick and scream blue murder!
Many people like to persevere with a nap once they've take LO to the bedroom.  I found that very very hard going at times.  My LO was already an independent sleeper but when his naps went off track and the screaming started...well, I KNOW it's hard!  They can also cry for so long they end up OT too which doesn't help matters!  So, something you might try if the crying is going on and on is to take him back out of the room, this may distract him out of his crying which they do seem to lose themselves in.  After a few minutes of calm cuddles you could go back and try again.

And honestly, the day you put him down, awake, calm, drowsy, and he smiles that beautiful big smile at you as you say goodnight, well, THAT will make up for every single moment of hard work you put in.  You'll smile back and leave the room and he'll close his eyes and go to sleep.  I swear when that happened to me I thought I would burst with the love I felt!

[Animom]

Hi..i totally relate to what you are going through...i went through the same thing with my DD from the time she was 2 months but by about 4.5 months she grew out of it...n now is a happy sleeper unless she is OT..

Also I think u will need to experiment with your wind down..as LOs keep changing there preferences, my DD took to shsh pat very easily but now she prefers to drift off alone in her crib with her pacifier...its a long long way from where we started out (lots of crying and red faced screaming)..Since my DD was a refluxer , the pacifier helped a lot..it really calms her

hang in there, it will get better soon    !

[Hawkeyeboots]

Thank you so much for all the support. It's nice to hear that other people have gone through the red-faced screaming, too! : ) Today I had a few errands to run, so I took lo out with me in the stroller, and got back a bit later than I expected, missing his "normal" nap time by about 20 minutes. When I put him down, he went right to sleep, only crying for a minute or two. It makes me wonder if he does need a bit more activity. I'll try to push the A times a bit for a few days and see if that helps.

I will also try leaving the room to comfort him if he gets upset. I am definitely one that hates to give up on the nap after I've gotten him swaddled and ready to go, but maybe he just isn't ready right away.

I'm definitely looking forward to the day when I can put him down awake and have him fall asleep without crying!

[michaeljacknnugg]

Glad it's helping. Just a short one from me today - I think a lot of Spirited children do better on long A times. DS only ever did 45min naps (until he started combining them) and so he'd already have been awake for considerable periods before a feed. There are some threads around on short nappers which might help you with EASY schedules.

[Miamamma]

Hi, just back from a holiday so haven't been able to reply. I would say by about 4.5 months my dd would go so sleep with very little fuss. However, I have to make sure that I don't try too early, as she will scream at me! (I'M NOT READY!) I have also found that taking her out of the room to calm down helps as being spirited she can easily get carried away with her crying. I adapted the sh pat to slow stroking her thigh and humming slow tunes. She preferred this and I gradually backed off so that I just sat on a chair nearby and hum only if necessary. Now she hates me stroking her and pushes my hand away!
You will get there!