Is crying before nap and bedtime normal?

[lady.godoy]

I posted recently about nap problems. But it seems before nap or bedtime, she just cries and cries. Fights her swaddle like wild! Yet she is exhausted. She may calmly, sleepily get into her swaddle and then she eventually just starts screaming. Bedtime is hard too. Cries and cries. Eventually putting herself out to sleep while I hold her. Not sure what to do. I read somewhere in PUPD (which isn't for my Lily, because she is just 7 weeks) that you shouldn't hold a baby that is fighting you. But she is swaddled (and fighting) but just so little. Do I put her down during her 'meltdown' or just hold her and try to comfort? Still working on A times. This morning was exactly 1 hr. 10 min. from wake up to eyes closed for nap. But still in the mix is tears. Is this normal? How should I respond?

[amayzie]

Hi ladygodoy- it is normal for her to cry when you are settling. They cry for lots of different reasons- it may be that she is tired, or uncomfortable- it's totally fine at this age to hold her to calm her down, if she's having a meltdown as you describe it she probably needs the extra reassurance that being close to mummy gives her. Even if you are teaching her to sleep using shh-pat many people start by holding to calm the baby and then place in the cot to do the rest.

Are you attempting to do something like shh-pat to start to settle her in the cot? If you are the crying could be that she's not used to this and is saying 'hey mom!! WHat's this crazy in the cot thing about?!!? I don't go to sleep like this!!'. It's really important to stay there with her while she is crying. At this age they need to be helped all the way to sleep- whether this is done in the cot, or in your arms.

Also- if you do have her in the cot trying to settle her using shh-pat, it's totally fine for her you to pick her up if her crying is causing yu distress- or if you feel it's too much.

As far as holding a baby thats fighting you that's fine to do at this age. She isn't really fighting you as such, she doesn't realise that you are involved, it's just more of a reflex/reaction for her...

You;ll find the crying to be less when you get the A times right- still crying, but less.

[lady.godoy]

Thank you much, again.

I have been rocking her to sleep, then laying her down sleeping already, MOST of the time. But, that was because of reflux issues and I was very concerned about her discomfort and didn't want her laying down right away. So I ended up holding her up to 20 min while she slept to be sure her she was asleep and not going to spit up. She still spits up some, but her discomfort seems to be gone because of meds and my diet.

I have just now begun shh pat again. She is GREAT at sleeping in her cot but it is getting her there. She will wake in a nap and put herself back to sleep often times, at least one nap a day like that. And many times in the night she does that. I think A times might be the battle for me. It is really hard to figure out! I definately know when I miss the window. And I am so sad she is so tired because I didn't know when to get her down. So I really want to work on finding that window and her cues. She cried this morning before going to sleep but MUCH less than usual. So maybe that 1 hr. 10 min. is around the right time. I will be working on that. And I would like to transition from rocking to sleep completely, to rocking and then shh pat in the cot for the rest. A little nervous. But I do shh pat while sitting after I rock, so she knows it some. Will keep you posted. 

[amayzie]

And hour 10 sounds pretty perfect for her age- it can be really hard to pick, so don't beat yourself up too much! you'll work it out! I have my fingers crossed!