Help with our second nap!!! Please! :)

[RachelC]

The crying when I put her down is not a mantra cry, sometimes it turns into that and I know she is about to fall asleep but for the most part it is just crying. If she does start to cry really hard I do go in and rub her back or have to pick her up, typically this does not help, but I hate to hear her cry like that so I have to go in.

As for when she starts to cry, it is typically as I start to put her in the crib. ....

She typically starts to cry once I lay her down, sometimes she just grabs her blankies or lovie and will chat a min or so then start to cry.

This, to us, appears that you are either letting your child cry it out (CIO) and fall asleep on her own rather than helping her to sleep, or a form of controlled crying (CC) where she cries for a certain amount of time before you return to the room.  If it is anything other than a mantra cry, you should be there in the room with her reassuring her that you are there and not leaving her.  Leaving her on her own to fend for herself can be quite damaging to her.  Please see my post, 5 posts up from here for more information.

If we are misinterpreting how you are handling her cries, please let us know.

Tracy Hogg (the author of the BW books and creator of this forum... have you read her books?) was completely against using CIO and CC and her techniques will not work if you are also using these methods.

[LittleOne603]

Yes, of course I have read her books, but I never did any of the 'CIO' as you started. At least I never thought I was doing that. I can completely tell when my daughter is crying to settle herself, mantra cry as well as when she is just crying. I know she can put herself to sleep and she has done it in the past and does it now, but just not all the time. I was sort of shocked at your comment, as I never thought I was letting her CIO, I never let her cry for more than a few minutes, at least not a cry that I know is not a settling one. (Well and if I am having to tend to my 3 year old then yes she sometimes has to wait, but not b/c I just decide she has to!)

I followed Tracy with my first son and never had any issues like I am having with my daughter so I am completely lost. I knew at one time what CIO was, but just forgot what it stood for.

Bottom line is I don't want my LO to CIO at all, I want her to be able to get the sleep that she needs when she needs it, we are just having a rough go of it. And I always thought I was doing it right, but will definitely pay close attention to it for sure.

And I missed your post (the one that was 5 posts ago) or I would have responded sooner!

 

[RachelC]

I certainly do apologize if we have misinterpreted what you had posted.  There were a couple phrases you used that made it seem you were allowing your dd to CIO.  If it's truly a mantra cry, then that is fine.  It's hard on the internet to make oneself clear and so much is left out by a lacking tone of voice.   

The crying when I put her down is not a mantra cry, sometimes it turns into that and I know she is about to fall asleep but for the most part it is just crying.

So now I can assume that you are staying with her until it turns to a mantra?

She could certainly be moving to a longer A time.  Every baby is different.  Average A time is 3.5 hours, so there has to be a baby with a higher one to balance the one with a lower one, know what I mean?

Here are some sample routines...
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=164030.0
Scroll down to the 9 month category, the first routine listed sounds like it may suit you.

[stephnoah]

Hi!  I didn't read through this full feed, but I do have one tidbit of info that could help you for your first nap.  My son is 7,5 months. I was putting him down for his first nap at after a 255 A and he was giving me a 110 nap. I kept pushing it 5 mins and kept just getting a 110 nap. One day I watched him as he slept and I found that he moved at 35 mins, but not enough OT to wake him, but then it seems like he always woke at 110. So I brought his A to 245 and he sleeps 220!  245 is our magic number right now. Any more than that and he's just a bit too ot to settle into a really deep sleep. I've read to try to keep your morning A shorter.. So maybe starting your day with a 330 A is starting your day on the wrong foot.  Hope that helps... And seeing as how I didn't read this full feed I'm sorry if I repeated what someone else already said.

[LittleOne603]

Thanks stephnoah, she is all over the place. I am trying 3:15 and today she woke up at 57 mins so I may keep shortening it. A bit tough b/c she has been waking at 5:30AM again everyday and her first nap ends up being around 8:30 or so, which means her last A of the day is so long b/c her second nap is early too! I will keep trying!

Thanks for the help!

[RachelC]

What did you think of the 9 month routine I suggested in my last post?  An hour nap is good!

[LittleOne603]

Thanks, the 9.5 schedule is about what she is on now. However the A times that I have been using are 3.5 A before 1st nap and then only 2hr 30 or 45 mins for 2nd nap. It seems like if I go any longer after a 1 hr morning nap, she has a really hard time going down for that 2nd nap. She still only gives me 1 hr for each nap on a good day and though that sounds good, I guess I really think she needs more in that second nap b/c it is tough for her to make it till 7 when she ends getting up before or around 3 pm.

We are still trying, but I have not been adjusting her A times at all. She is a few days from 10 months, so maybe they will change soon, not sure yet.

She is however with those two naps, sleeping until about 6:15 or 6:30 which has improved!

Thanks!!