At the end of my tether

[cuckoochick]

Hi,
Sorry I missed this until now. I hope you got on OK. I'd say you are still doing great. I'm sure 5.5hrs A time would have been ok after a good night so my fingers are crossed. It looks like the nap is starting to lengthen out a bit. When you said her nap yesterday was broken, can you describe what happened?

[boozal]

yes she has woken now for the last 3 days after an hour, she is shattered but just won't go back to sleep.  I go to bed when she sleeps (35 weeks preggie and pooped!) so hubby has been bringing her in and she goes straight to sleep next to me for another 40 mins or so, not ideal at all but I just want to get the sleep into her at the moment, so all in all she's been having approx 1.5hrs at lunchtime but it's broken as she wakes half way through, (do you think that is an issue?)

So today she did the same, slept for an hour and then cried she fell straight asleep with me and in total had 2hrs 10 mins!! tonight she has been a little star and I feel more convinced that we are really getting somewhere as she had 5.5 A, bath, 20 min wind down, bottle in her cot with me sitting beside her and she was really sleepy, I sat with her for a while and she just laid there, said goodnight etc and left her. I was only in the room next door and she just laid there chatting to herself for about 20 minutes.  I then went in and she reached up for a little cuddle, I laid her down and shh'd her etc and she fell asleep!!!  Ok so not actually completely self settling but much much improved on say a week ago. Her final sleep time was 7.40pm.

Any suggestions from anyone for further improvements greatly welcomed and thank you cuckoochick soo much for helping me with this x

[cuckoochick]

I think she's doing great on the self-settling. Is she waking and crying after 1 hour into her nap? If she's just grizzling/moaning etc then give her a chance to see if she will re-settle herself as she needs the practice to stir, roll over and go back to sleep. Of course, I understand that you want her to get adequate rest and get that nap lengthening out and you also need to rest too while pg .  I'm just thinking when your LO#2 comes along you might not be able to lie down and do this when you have a baby to care for too so I'd keep an eye on bringing her in to lie down with you if you think it might hinder her ability to resettle herself.

Your routine looks like it is improving as the nap is lengthening out and your nights seem ok with not as many NWs as previously. We've just got to work on her re-settling herself during that nap

[boozal]

Thanks hun, so much. I totally agree she has to extend that nap on her own and unfortunately she wakes up howling not just grizzling.  She sounds like she's tired when she wakes and she is inconsolable and literally won't stop crying - odd.  WE try to get her back to sleep but she fights it and then wakes herself up beaming at us so invariably she only has an hour to an hour and a half at lunchtime which I know isn't enough. 

She's just stirred now with a howl but wasn't found sitting up just lying down bless her, as soon as I rubbed her back and told her I was there she went straight back to sleep again, she's never done that before.

[cuckoochick]

Well, that's fab. You are definitely making progress and let's hope that she keeps going from strength to strength. Just be mindful of what Tracy said about being SLOW (Stop, Listen, Observe...) when listening to your LO's cries. Could there be any teething at play? My DD often wakes howling when she is teething. My DD will wake with a big loud cry, I rush up to go and get her but by the time I'm getting there she is beginning to soothe herself and go back of.  Of course we don't want any form of CIO and I'm sure you know your DD's cries, just something I thought I'd mention about giving her the chance to re-settle herself.

[boozal]

Yes it's important to remember that, thanks she is cutting molars now too.

She took 1 1/4 hrs to settle last night which was frustrating.  I got her down early (6pm) as she'd woken early from her nap and my FIL phoned just as she closed her eyes gah!! so she woke ad within 5 minutes got completely hyper, she did however go right the way through until 05.20 this morning.  It's much earlier than usual so we might have to look into cracking that but I think generally she is doing really well.

Thanks again so much for your advice and support x

[Mama_Mia]

Hi boozal, I just wanted to pop in and say your doing a wonderful job!

Also, its ok that LO's dont go to sleep right away, my M plays around sometimes for up to an hour at BT before going to sleep. He will roll around, talk to himself, stand up, lay down then he will finally go to sleep. Also, some LO's grizzle just before they go to sleep. When M does this I dont go in. I always go in if he cries but not if he is just "grumping" as I put it. I used to go in every time he stood up or whatever but I soon realized that it just worked him up and made him want to play. So now I just leave him to do what he wants until he decides he wants to sleep.