baby gets fussy on the breast..

[christym]

Hello, this is my first time on this forum. I've been reading the baby whisperer's book but she doesn't really go into the problem that i am having with my 3 month old. Riley. He is a good baby usually goes down for his naps, does dream feeds, and likes the bottle. he is on formula and breastmilk however, ever since he has been on the breast he would cry and get fussy. he preferred one side over the other. He doesn't have trouble latching anymore and does that just fine. The let down might be slow because my milk supply is not that plentiful.

The question i have is, has anyone ever had issues breast feeding and getting them to do it? he gives me this look that he doesn't want to, and cries and cries even when i wait for him for an hour to two hours and he will start to do it but then stop and cry. It's very frustrating and last night I found myself engorged on one side, because he wouldn't feed during the day. So when he woke up in the middle of the night i gave it to him, just to get him to do it. He ALWAYS will do it when he wakes up middle of the night, maybe he doesn't realize he is doing it or something.

there are days where he does it for the most part, and there are days where he won't. today, he wouldn't go on the one side but then he went on the other for 5-10 minutes. every 3 hours! i think maybe i broke his trust by trying early on to force him to feed and he would cry and cry and i figured he just didn't want to do it, but now i think maybe it's gas and he had to burp but i tried to force him. i feel badly for doing that and now dont want to force him and let him cry. i feel like when i let him cry he is frustrated and hungry so i would give in and give him a bottle instead...but i really want to keep breastfeeding as i know the benefits of it. it's just tough with this issue, and i don't know what to do at this point. i'm at the point where i'm not sure whether to give up or keep trying.

any advice would be helpful thank you!

[eva026]

That sounds be like what happened to us 3 weeks ago. I'm not experienced enough to sure but in our case DD would do similar things and it turned out that she had suddenly decided she preferred the bottle. I also tried to force her to BF, ended up with a nursing strike and thought our BFing days were over!
Thanks to the ladies on this forum we are nursing now no problem (although with nipple shields).
What saved us was a change of bottle to one that doesn't flow unless you suck and the info on nursing strikes in the FAQ section.
I use the medela calma, but I believe there is a breastflow one that works in a similar way. Baby had to suck to get milk out so it wasn't such a change to get her sucking on the breast in nipple shields.

Most important thing is to hang in there, it can be done:)

[Fiver]

The section in the FAQ eva026 referred to http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=89418.0 headed "Coaxing baby to the breast" might be useful to you.  Another possibility is you both getting into the bath together and letting LO latch himself.

Most of all, stay relaxed as much as you can, make sure you're sustaining you milk supply if LO isn't feeding from the breast (by pumping/hand expressing) and go at LO's pace

[christym]

That sounds be like what happened to us 3 weeks ago. I'm not experienced enough to sure but in our case DD would do similar things and it turned out that she had suddenly decided she preferred the bottle. I also tried to force her to BF, ended up with a nursing strike and thought our BFing days were over!
Thanks to the ladies on this forum we are nursing now no problem (although with nipple shields).
What saved us was a change of bottle to one that doesn't flow unless you suck and the info on nursing strikes in the FAQ section.
I use the medela calma, but I believe there is a breastflow one that works in a similar way. Baby had to suck to get milk out so it wasn't such a change to get her sucking on the breast in nipple shields.

Most important thing is to hang in there, it can be done:)

thanks for your reply. so just switching the bottle to a harder to suck one made the difference? the bottle you tried is medela calma and that worked? my LO has no problem latching he just doesn't like it, i think because when i tried to force him on he might have an aversion now to it. it sucks because we bought all these bottles with a slow flow nipple and to change now might resolve in a "bottle strike" as well!

so you think if i make it really hard for him with the bottle then he will want the breast because he thinks its easier?

[christym]

The section in the FAQ eva026 referred to http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=89418.0 headed "Coaxing baby to the breast" might be useful to you.  Another possibility is you both getting into the bath together and letting LO latch himself.

Most of all, stay relaxed as much as you can, make sure you're sustaining you milk supply if LO isn't feeding from the breast (by pumping/hand expressing) and go at LO's pace

thanks for the reply. i did read that link, but i don't think that the reason why he won't do it is any of the reasons listed. he only wants to do it when HE wants to do it, i wonder if he is just really stubborn?

[eva026]

Well in our case she would get a bottle top up because it would take her over an hour to nurse and I was just loosing patience. Then she started nursing for shorter and shorter intervals and demanding the bottle sooner and sooner so we stopped giving her the bottle altogether and I was trying to force her to BF. Eventually she refused to nurse at all and I couldn't put her through it any more so we switched to bottles.
Night feeds were ok, because we was half asleep and didn't even realise she was on the breast. Does that sound the same?
I ended up expressing and feeding her my milk by bottle so my supply didn't go down.
We had been using to slow flow newborn nipples too (Avent, medela and tommee tipee) but they were still easier for her to use than BFing.

A few things helped.
We bought the calma bottle because I had read that it doesn't drip unless it is sucked on and that the long nipple stimulates the back of the pallet like BF does.
It did however take some convincing for her to take it. I also read that some babies refuse it totally and it's pretty expensive but the breastflow bottle isn't available here so I decided to risk it. It worked for us and I have never given her another type of bottle again, just in case.
Another thing is that I continued to try BF but only when she wasn't very hungry and as soon as she showed any signs of irritation I would stop, express and my husband (so she wouldn't connect bottles with me) would feed her the milk by bottle.
The BF was also in side-lying position (something we had not done often) so she wouldn't associate it with being pressured and I put on nipple shields.
 If I remember correctly we also co-slept during that time and I would try BF a little as soon as she woke and was still sleepy.

After about 2 days of this she started nursing a few min at a time and then suddenly attached to the breast and nursed on and off for 3h!
At the moment we are still using nipple shields but Erin M helped us cut the nursing tie down to 10-15min:) I guess weaning the shields is the next step.

[becj86]

I had refusal issues for a while that I couldn't work out. I was constantly told my supply wasn't enough for DS but it was (that's another story). I found information on baby-led attachment and that made a huge difference for us.

If you're having issues because your letdown isn't strong, you could try hand expressing just till you get a letdown and then pop him on or try breast compressions.

Hugs, its really hard when LO isn't sticking with your plan

[Fiver]

When I posted the link, it wasn't really for the reasons, more for the suggestions of getting LO back to the breast

Coaxing baby to the breast - General tips

Your goal is to coax baby to the breast. Do not attempt to force your baby to breastfeed. Forcing baby to the breast does not work, stresses baby, and can result in baby forming an aversion to the breast. As baby gets better at nursing and is able to get more milk via nursing, he will grow to trust that breastfeeding works and will have more patience when latching.

•  Wear clothing that allows very easy access to the breasts. Baby may get very impatient in the split-second it takes for mom to lift the blouse and undo the bra. Spend time, if possible, in a warm place that allows both mom and baby to be naked from the waist up.
•  Lots of skin-to-skin contact can help your baby nurse better and even gain weight faster. Keep your baby with you as much as possible, and give him lots of opportunities to nurse (even if you're not successful). Get skin-to-skin with him, first when he is sleepy, right after a bottle feed (or however you're supplementing). Take a bath together. This way baby has the opportunity to sleep and wake up happily, skin to skin at mom's chest, and mom is right there to catch the earliest hunger cues. If baby moves toward the breast and then falls asleep before even mouthing the nipple, or after sucking twice, then these are positive baby steps, not failures.
•  Offer the breast often. Try breastfeeding in baby's favorite place, in his favorite position, in the bath, while walking around, while lying down, with baby upright, baby flat on his back, in his sleep, just as he is waking, any time baby looks as if he might be interested, or any other way you can think of, i.e. any time, anywhere.
•  Avoid pressuring baby to nurse. Offer in an ultra-casual way and pretend you don't mind if he refuses (easier said than done, but try not to show any frustration - your aim is to avoid pressuring baby to nurse). Don't hold the back of baby's head or push or hold baby to the breast. If baby pulls off the breast, then don't try to make him go back onto the breast at that time - simply try again later. If baby seems frustrated with your offering the breast, then turn the pressure down and simply make the breast available (lots of skin-to-skin!) without offering. It can be helpful to have lots of skin-to-skin time with baby where he is cuddled at the breast with no pressure to nurse - give control over to your baby, so that baby decides if and when to nurse and when to stop nursing.
•  Carry your baby close to you (a sling or other baby carrier can help with this). "Wear," carry, hold and cuddle your baby as much as possible; carry baby on your hip while doing other things, play with baby, and give baby lots of focused attention.
•  Sleep near your baby. If baby sleeps with you, you'll get more skin-to-skin contact, plus baby has more access to the breast (being sure to use safe co-sleeping techniques). If baby is not in the same bed, have baby's bed beside your bed or in the same room so that you can catch early feeding cues, breastfeed easier at night, and get more sleep.
•  Nipple shields can be helpful at times for transitioning baby to the breast. Talk to your lactation consultant about using this tool.
•  Comfort nursing is often the first to come, followed by nutritive nursing. Offer the breast for comfort any time you see a chance- at the end of a feeding when baby is not hungry, when baby is going to sleep or just waking up, when baby is asleep, and whenever he needs to comfort suck. If your baby is actively resisting nursing, then try encouraging comfort nursing after baby is comfortable with skin-to-skin contact. After baby is willing to nurse for comfort, you can then proceed to working on nursing for "meals" as well.
•  You also might try nursing when he is a little drowsy. Some babies are more willing to take the breast when they are semi-asleep than when fully awake. Try nursing as he is just beginning to wake up. Some mothers find that their babies will instinctively nurse well once completely asleep (dreamfeed).
•  Try different nursing positions. Nursing while lying down often helps minimize any distractions that may interfere with nursing. Nursing in a quiet, dark room may also be helpful.

[Erin M]

How's it going sweetie?