Developed a very bad habit - help!

[SMarie]

Hi there, I'm new to the forum and desperate for advice. My DD is 9-months-old and STTN until about 6 weeks ago. We have a standard bedtime routine and we were always able to put her down drowsy and she would drift off. Now she WILL NOT fall asleep on her own, under any circumstances. Even if she's exhausted (for naps and at bedtime), she just cries and cries until she is coughing, hiccupping, even throwing up (we tried letting her cry it out for 3 days, it clearly is not effective with her and it broke my heart). Within minutes of being picked up, she's asleep so I know she's tired! I also tried the fading technique, sitting beside her crib soothing her but not picking her up. No help. I think it upset her more that I was right there and not picking her up.
So we now have to rock her to sleep then lie in our bed with her for 10mins or so before we put her in her crib. Like clockwork, she is awake and crying 45mins later. Patting and shhing occasionally works but I usually end up picking her up to rock her back to sleep before she gets too worked up. She will then usually sleep for 6 or 7 hours on her own before her next waking around 3 or 4am. She goes back to sleep within 10mins or so, but I am usually so sleepy I just bring her into to bed with us (bad, I know!)

Does anyone have little tips for helping her learn to fall asleep on her own? Is this just a phase? Teething? Should I try the pick-up put-down method I see mentioned on this forum? I feel awful because I know it's our fault for allowing her to get accustomed to us putting her to sleep, but it's getting out of hand. My husband and I have discussed putting our mattress on the floor, for crying out loud! We never wanted to co-sleep but I feel as though that's where we're headed if this keeps up.

Thanks in advance for any help at all 

[becj86]

Hi,

Has your DD ever been an independent sleeper? Before all this started 6 weeks ago, how did she get to sleep, where did she sleep?

Does your DD have reflux? If so, is it under control?

Should I try the pick-up put-down method I see mentioned on this forum?

PUPD is meant as a last resort when other methods such as shush/pat or gradual withdrawal have been tried consistently and have not worked, so please don't start with that.

I'm not sure where you are but I have to ask if she's cold - she sleeps fine when in body contact with you... could she be cold in her bed?

[SMarie]

Thanks for your reply!

Yes! DD has STTN in her crib since she was 4 months old. She has never been a great napper though.

She was diagnosed with reflux at 5 weeks old. Has been taking omeprazole ever since.

We live in Canada and I have honestly never thought that she may be cold. My husband does like to keep the house quite cool (70 degrees) and since DD does usually "run hot" I don't add any extra blankets at night. Perhaps I should?

[becj86]

Yes! DD has STTN in her crib since she was 4 months old. She has never been a great napper though.

So she can be put in her crib awake and go to sleep on her own?

She was diagnosed with reflux at 5 weeks old. Has been taking omeprazole ever since.

When was the dosage last checked against her weight? Meds are weight-sensitive, so maybe they're just not quite cutting it now if she's gained since you last had the dosage reviewed... PUPD is not a good idea with a baby who has reflux, controlled or uncontrolled. It can really aggravate the reflux and cause more issues.

You may like to chat to the lovely ladies here: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=13.0 about reflux and sleep and how reflux can affect EASY.

since DD does usually "run hot" I don't add any extra blankets at night. Perhaps I should?

My DS runs hot during the day - when he's active, but when asleep, he tends to get cold (which I didn't realise for a while). I'd give it a go and see if it makes a difference.

[becj86]

I also just wanted to say that we're against CIO/CC of any form here (I understand you're here because its not for you but need to put the information there for you and anyone else who reads). Here are a few links that explain:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=211289.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=224729.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63839.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=222275.0

[my3girlsjde]

Hi there, just wondering if your lo has had a meds increase in a while. Omeprazole is weight sensitive so wondering if a dosage increase is needed to help.

[my3girlsjde]

And I wanted to add that habits can be gently broken. I coslept with my twins for almost a year while they had sleep apena and we worked it out that they now sleep independently. There are tools here to help you gently gain independence in their sleep and have them on a great routine.

My youngest is currently rocked to sleep at the moment and I plan on weaning that once we get her food intolerances and reactions sorted out. I'm not prepared to do any type of sleep training with her consistently due to the unpredictability of her food reactions and that's just the decision that we made as a family. However, I do know that when we do go forth with sleep training with her, it will be gentle and very consistent.

I strongly suggest once you rule out discomfort from the reflux that you form a plan (with help here) and stick with it. We as a family made sure that there was the ability to devote time and energy to our plan and it worked. It was a bit of work, but very respectful and we all gained from it.

[SMarie]

So she can be put in her crib awake and go to sleep on her own?

Up until about 6 weeks ago, she would go to sleep on her own. It seems like over night it all turned around and she suddenly refused to fall asleep without being held! She slept for 2 and half hours during the day yesterday (much better than normal - being held of course) and last night she made it through the night until 6am in her crib! I had to go in 3 times to soothe her back to sleep but I didn't have to pick her up. Progress I suppose. Today she has slept very well but was quite difficult to get to sleep. We tried at 7pm (3 hours after waking from her last nap) and it was 830pm before she was asleep. So an hour and a half of walking the halls rocking her. My back is breaking! Question: should we stop trying after a certain time and bring her back downstairs? Leave her in her crib until she cries? What's the right move here?

We have never increased her reflux meds dosage! But she doesn't seem uncomfortable in any way (like she did before started the meds anyway) I will definitely ask her doc about this at our next appt.

Thank you all!

[becj86]

I still think reflux is the problem here.
My thoughts go like this: She's uncomfortable, so having trouble getting to sleep but exhausted, so sleeping once she falls asleep. Her day sleep is being affected, as is her night sleep although to a lesser degree.

Hugs, I really think a trip to the doctor would help sort this out.

[my3girlsjde]

ITA  here. They don't sleep if they're in discomfort and reflux Meds are weight sensitive. At this age, even if you're not seeing actual refusing doesn't mean that it's not causing a problem for her. For a long time with all of my los they only obvious symptom was horrible sleep.

I would def make an appointment and get her dosage adjusted.

More hugs.