The early BT is a little scary as I dread him waking at 4:00 and refusing to go back to sleep
It is a little scary but the one time we had a wakeup at night, I took DS outside, showed him how dark it was, explained it was still sleep time and put him back in bed. He then slept til morning
Last night, he went to bed at 5:30 and we didn't hear a peep til 6am
I don't think that you'll get away without NF's... but I'm just trying to illustrate that you can get a longer night out of EBT.
Also I usually feed him before BT, If he has an earlier BT do I feed him as usual even if it will only be 2hrs-ish after his last feed?
Yes, keep the BT routine the same and if you're feeding earlier, it acts like a natural cluster feed
There is something wrong, like over/understimulation or undertiredness I think for him to wake up grumpy after that 40min nap every time.
I also have some questions about short naps and feeding - so if he wakes up early from his 1:00 nap should I feed him at 3:00 (as usual) and then put him down for his nap? He seems to get energised when he feeds which is why I haven't tried putting him down earlier after his short nap before.
I (and this is personal choice) would feed at 2 and then PD when he's showing tired signs.
What I would say about tired signs, though, is that they can be confused for bored signs at this age. It can sometimes be really helpful to change activities when LO grizzles and only PD for nap if LO continues grizzling after the change of scenery.