Hello, I posted this as a follow-up question to a different issue somewhere else, but I think it belongs here. My DS has suddenly started having a challenging time going down for naps and at night because of Separation Anxiety/Digestion Issues and few other things. I've tried some new things that are helping, one being that I've adjusted his schedule so that he's having milk before nap instead of after. He usually settles much better now, which makes me wonder if the sleeping struggles have more to do with digestion, but I'm questioning the wisdom of doing this. Here's what I posted:
I've found that when he eats before going down for a nap, he almost never has a hard time going to sleep. He rarely falls asleep eating, so I figured I should just try it. It's helped him in going to sleep instead of crying on and on and missing a nap, but now I'm wondering if it's causing more problems.
At night he still always wakes up between 10 and 12 and will rarely go back to sleep unless I feed him (I've never had success dropping the dream fed. I've tried). If he eats closer to 12, he'll usually make it until morning. If it's earlier, he'll almost always wake up wanting to eat again at 4 or 5. I don't want to feed him but he just escalates if I try helping him back to sleep. Maybe it's ok and I just need to let it be, but from what I've read, it seems he shouldn't need to eat at all at night. He eats til he's full 3 times a day, and usually seems to get enough milk...although hard to know since I breast feed most times. When he wakes at night I'm wondering if I need to leave him longer. I've been trying to leave him and not go in the room at all, hoping he'll go back to sleep. It's usually a mantra, but when it escalates much at all I just go in since I don't want to do CIO at all. Maybe I should be leaving him longer? Once I go in I always pick him up. Maybe THAT's the issue. I have it in my mind that he needs to calm down and THEN put him down. I've tried laying him down without picking him up (he usually stands up before I come in), and he always gets more upset....LOTS more most often. He'll escalate quickly, kick his legs, etc. But when I pick him up he'll usually cry on and on and on, usually mantra but sometimes more. If I put him down he escalates. I can't hold him that long though. That's when I end up feeding him...to save my back, my sanity and my sleep.
One note that might have brought this on is that for months he was constipated (tried everything). That seems to be pretty much resolved now, but because of this issue, he would often wake up in the middle of the night needing to poop. I would always get him up since the easiest way for him was standing in his walker....and sometimes would have to give suppository. Maybe he got used to being picked up at night because of this. I'm not sure, but I'm not sure how to break it either without CIO.
Any thoughts? Maybe it also has to do with the Pu/Pd issue. Maybe i'm picking him up too often. Just not sure what else to do when he's crying so much. Lying him down doesn't help or even entering the room. If I even sit by the cot he stands and cries and cries. I've tried leaning over the edge, talking to him, singing, putting my hand on him, etc. Once he's upset, though, it's tough to calm him unless he eats. I'm not one that has immediately gone to feeding him either. I've tried for hours before and finally feed him and once drove him around. Lately I DO just go to feeding though. It saves my sleep. But I don't want to dig myself deeper into a hole so I'm looking for thoughts on this.
Thanks again!
