how do you live with a short napper?

[~*erin*~]

11weeks old, and been having short naps ALL THE TIME now for the last 2.5 weeks. I can usually resettle her, but to be honest, it's draining me and I'm getting more and more frustrated having to do it all the time, EVERY time. She was napping great and then all of a sudden, boom! no more it doesn't help that she still has 2NF each night with no end in sight. "Exhausted" is the understatement of the century.

so.....

how does one survive 2NF and a crappy napper? I have tried it all , all the techniques, all the things that SHOULD work ..... (ie. extending A time, shortening A time, soother, no soother........) She is a super yawner too, sometimes within 30min of waking up, so I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. She generally wakes relatively happy, except for the last two days, and usually is easy to go down, again, except the last two days. I can't make heads or tails of it. As a result, I don't really have an EASy to post. Even her eating is wonky; she's rarely hungry at the 3hr mark, sometimes not even at 3.5hrs (when offered, she just takes a little snack ie. 5min per breast if I'm lucky)

[~*erin*~]

I know she's still so little, but something's gotta give!! I'm such a mess, every day, because of the lack of sleep. I have no family around, and my friends are working or have their own babies, so I have no help. I am so sad all the time.

I don't really have an EASy at the moment because of this craziness. Yesterday, I successfully HTTJ for 2 naps, that were 2.5 hrs each - turned out that was too long, stupid me - she didn't get a catnap, so was OT at bedtime, and unsettled for basically the whole night. WU @ 645am today, major yawning by 740am, so up we go for nap, sleeping by 750am, and awake at 817. resettle, only to wake again at 840. so now she's in the swing, sleeping, but I don't think it will last too long.

Her eating is erratic also - she's not usually hungry at 3 hrs anymore, sometimes not even at 3.5hrs. And with the crappy napping, I don't know what to do. I am getting zero rest during the day because all I do is resettle, resettle, resettle - I can't go on like this anymore!!!!!!!

Generally her 1st A time is about 1hr10, others are more like 1hr15-20. She starts yawning even before that though, so I don't know what to make of it. I have tried putting her down before the yawning starts, I have tried putting her down right after the first or second yawn - nothing seems to make a difference. She can't seem to stay up much longer than that - and last night, because she missed her catnap (probably because she had two 2.5hr naps early in the day, and 20-30min nap around 430pm) she was impossible to settle at bedtime (in bed by 7).  If her nights were good, I'd be better able to deal with the short naps, but they're not great - still two NF that seem to take FOREVER by time she's fed, burped (which takes centuries it seems) and settled enough to sleep.

She's swaddled, in a dark room, no soother so it's not a prop ..... I just can't do this anymore. I'm literally at my breaking point. And I"m sorry for being such a downer. I just need something to change. and soon.

[creations]

Huge (((hugs))) to you.
I'll leave the EASY stuff to Jane but just had to stop by to give you a hug.

With her eating.  At what point does she take a full feed?  Is it closer to 4hrs?  Have you tried waiting until she is hungry?  You see it could be that she needs to move to a 3hr 45 or 4hr E even though it would generally be considered 'early' (4 months is more common), but remember that BWing is about the individual baby's needs.

Do you think there is any chance she has reflux or silent reflux?  This can make them not want to eat, or take little because of discomfort (although often they need smaller meals closer together), it also makes sleep a nightmare because the pain disturbs them.

This is a useful page as it lists lots of symptoms (you'll have to scroll down to the silent reflux section if you don't want to read the full article)
http://www.cradle2kindy.com.au/BlogRetrieve.aspx?BlogID=1159&PostID=15358

And my advice for coping would be to take a few days to go with the flow and stop trying to extend naps.  Just accept that she is currently short napping and stop (for a few dsya) trying to do anything about it, care for yourself.  If she will nap in the pram or car then I would get out of the house and go visit someone or go to a park and get some fresh air and just not worry about her sleep.  The one positive aspect of having a short napper is being able to go out and about without feeling guilty that you are disturbing their sleep.  During her morning nap (even if it's only 30 min) get yourself washed and dress and throw a bag together then as soon as she wakes get out of the house for a drive or walk or whatever.  The change of scene will do you good, as will releasing yourself from the pressure of httj and shush/patting your day away.  Sitting in a darkened room for prolonged periods really does no favours for anyone's mood.  Get some sun.

My second piece of advice is once she is asleep lay down and close your eyes.  She might wake after 20 mins but you will have had 20 mins of rest.  It doesn't sound like much but it does help.  If she will sleep in the car you could park up and shut your eyes (car seats are not recommended for LOs to sleep in for long periods but a couple of times isn't going to totally destroy her).  If she will sleep in the swing then go for it and get yourself on the sofa quick fast, eyes shut.  One nap per day in her own cot will retain her habit of sleeping there.

My third piece of advice is to ask any of your friends to stop by and help you out.  I realise they are busy but friends rarely pass up the chance to offer some deeply needed support, it makes THEM feel good you know.

This WILL pass. xxx

[Mrs.Nerd]

This is probably going against the whole point of this forum, but I would say it depends on how your LO copes with short naps. Since my DS was about 3 months old, he usually only naps for 30-40mins, 3x a day usually. While he does get very tired by the end of the day, I am lucky in that he is only OT to the point of a ridiculous amount of eye-rubbing and some thumb sucking. Personally, if your wee one isn't crying from being OT, I would try to go with the flow a bit more and let her tell you if she needs more sleep.

There are definitely some positive aspects to a short napper: if you need to be somewhere at 10.30am, for example, and your LO wakes at 7, then you'd be putting them down for a nap between 9 and 9.30am, then they will wake up between 9.30am and 10am, so you don't have to wake them to get going!

My DS is now 7 months, and although I still get frustrated sometimes by his short naps, the fact that he doesn't cry from being OT means I don't get too stressed by it any more. Also, since he was about 16-19 weeks he started STTN 7-7. Last night he slept 7-9!!! So perhaps she will STTN before she cracks daytime naps.

Just wanted to say, been there!!! (still there!!!)

[Rizo]

Hugs from me too. Like the PP I have been there and still am there at 5.5months (don't want to discourage you though)

After months and months we have just started meds for reflux and I'm sure that has had a bit to do with short naps. However I don't think it has been all down to reflux but still can't figure him out to get longer naps. My DS is sooooo happy it is crazy, but some days I feel like I just can't manage even one more day of short naps or I'll go insane. 
It makes me soooo mad when I hear people saying "oh my DS sleeps 2x2h naps per day then a catnap of 1h." SOmetimes I think arrrrrrggggg, their catnaps are longer than our normal naps, how can this be fair......

So sorry no advice, but just wanted to say I know how hard it is and especially when you have tried everything to extend them you feel like giving up. Rant over..... Biggest hugs to you and hope you can figure it out.

[Erin M]

First off, some big ((((hugs))))

Secondly, like creations said so nicely, give yourself a break!  My ds was a short napper for longer than I thought possible.  It was driving me batty for a bit, but then I realized I couldn't spend the entire day trying to resettle and living in panic of hearing him stir 20 minutes into a nap (AGAIN!) so I regrouped.  I would give myself a limited amount of time to resettle a nap (like 5 minutes) and then if that didn't work, I'd get him up out of bed and we'd go do something with the girls -- usually getting out of the house somehow -- park, kids museum, library, zoo, mall, whatever.  If she's up for some APOP, resettle that way -- put her in the swing, baby carrier, etc, and move on with your day.  My guess is that you probably need an A time increase, but in the meantime, don't let this run your life. 

Oh, and...

This is probably going against the whole point of this forum, but I would say it depends on how your LO copes with short naps. Since my DS was about 3 months old, he usually only naps for 30-40mins, 3x a day usually.

Nope, not at all, BWing is all about knowing your baby and your baby's cues.  If your baby does fine on 3 short naps, consider your self a fabulous BWer. 

[~*erin*~]

thanks all. I guess the one nice thing is she's a happy baby, so .... but it's still crappy with the short naps

as for reflux, I have been 3x to the doc, and they say no she's fine, not even silent reflux. I have noticed that many of her "refluxy" symptoms seem much better lately, but I just don't know (still a bit grunty, hard to burp, hiccups a lot, not much spit up, but she has vomitted a total of 5 times and it doesn't even seem to phase her; she gets hiccups easily in the bouncy chair, swing and carseat; but I do find that holding her upright for about 10min after eating is really helpful; and her mattress is elevated). She was napping GREAT up until she was 8weeks, then it's been downhill from there. It's so discouraging.

thanks again - it's extra tough with a 2.5yo who likes to get up at 530am for the past few weeks, just as i'm finishing the last NF with the baby - so it's generally a 4am wake up time for me. joy of joys.

[~*erin*~]

keep doing this HHTJ until you don't have a OT LO

how do you know when they're not OT anymore?
it's so hard, because I'm noticing that she is dropping ALL cues! Cues for sleep, cues to eat .... it's driving me nuts!

Also, how on earth do you find a good feeding routine? if all I get are 30-40min naps, what's the A time after? and when would I feed her next? so hard to tell these days

As for the feeding, as I mentioned,  I am not sure when she's hungry lately .... it varies bw 3-4 hrs. I have noticed on the days where she went longer, she had more restless nights.

I'm also still getting up for 2 NF each night - 1st around 1130pm-midnight, 2nd around 330-430am. And generally 2nd last feeding is around 430pm, then bedtime feed around 645pm so she's sleeping just after 7pm..... any thoughts on this? Of course, she doesn't want a full feeding really at either of them, but maybe she's just getting more efficient? I"m just so confused. Even first thing in the morning, she doesn't seem too hungry, even if I get her to wait about 20min after waking! I can tell she's hungry, but doesn't seem overly so ......

for example, she woke this morning at 730am, was hungry about 10min later but only took one breast (she's usually a 2boob girl), was tired around 835am, and she fought sleep though clearly tired until 850am. then (of course!) woke again at 925am, not happy, but not cranky .... took her for a walk in the Bjorn, but it didn't put her back to sleep, came home and we read a story with toddler, and by 1020, she's exhausted again and asleep by 1030am! Is this normal? Do you think that I have somehow created a habit of her waking from naps early? Maybe I need to wait longer if she wakes early from them but I find if I don't catch her at the right moment, then she's too wide awake to try and resettle .... is this nap business a totally lost cause for me from here on out??? please say no! I LIVE for good naps!!!!!!