Hello!
A bit of a tricky one and teeth do cause problems!
The refusal of spoon-feeding is fairly common at this age as they master the art of feeding themselves. As long as you offer a wide and balanced diet, finger foods will be fine - checkout baby lead weaning sites.
Not sure about the milk feeds though. It is common for 9 month babies to be on three feeds a day, perhaps reducing to two, but one in two days sounds a little bit worrying if I'm honest. I would phone your doctor and see what he has to say. At the very least, contact your health visitor.
Have you changed the milk? Perhaps you could buy a couple of the instant feeds to see whether she will take a different brand of follow-on milk. Perhaps change the bottle or teat?
It sounds like your little girl is enforcing her independence at the moment, so you could try the bottles with the little handles to see if she will have a feed if she is in control! Also it looks really cute!
You could try giving her milk with her meal as an extra drink and plenty of cheese and yoghurt (give as one of those squeezy tubes if she wants to feed herself).
It is a tricky one but I do think if you have any doubt to check it out. Good luck hun xxxx