So tired of her not napping

[Ellasmommy38]

My 6 1/2 month old is on 4 hour easy. We've been doing this for 3 weeks now after no real structure and I just don't get what I'm doing wrong. We were doing well for about 3 days in the middle somewhere and now I'm lucky if she has 1 good nap (1.25 hrs) I keep her in her crib till 7 w pu/pd even though she's not upset.. Just wide awake. I keep her A to a minimum, we play on the bed with soft colored plush toys (no noises) then she starts rubbing her eyes around 8:30 but since I'm trying to stick to the schedule I keep her awake till 8:40. We cuddle with her paci in the dark till I feel her relax. Before she used to fall asleep no problem, now when I set her in her crib she wakes up instantly and starts banging her arms on her matress and kicking her legs.. I've tried calming her down but Im standing at her crib for an hour and a half. Ive also tried starting over, cuddles until she relaxes then get her in her crib but she wakes 20-30 min later with 20 minutes of what seems mantra then when she actually cries I go in there and she immediately stops. I give her the paci and put my hand on her and talk softly but she starts slapping my arm, kicking her legs and swinging her head around. I end up being in her room , stooped over the crib until she's allowed tobe up next. Then after she's up about1/2 hr she's so cranky I don't know what to do. Generally her pm nap is better because her am was so bad. She never cat naps either. I've tried after a bad day of sleep and shell maybe do 18 minutes. I am so ready to give up.

[anna*]

Sorry you're having such a rough time. Can you give us an idea of what your day looks like?

[Ellasmommy38]

7:00 I wake her if she's not already awake and playing in her crib
She eats 1 oz of solids then I nurse her both sides till she's refuses.
7:30 she sits in her chair or in pack & play and watches me eat. Sometimes I read to her what's in the news paper.
7:45-8:40 is activity. Usually for this we play on my bed with some plush light colored toys. She gets tummy time now too and I'll sing some songs and sometimes tickle her or kiss her tummy.. Contact playing
8:40 she gets put in her sleepy bag, I turn on white noise (rain) and we cuddle in the dark with her paci. I give her kisses on her head and tell her we're going to nap now. Then when I "think" she's drowsy but not sleeping I put her down. Her room is very dark so I only guess from her breathing.
This is when she's been doing 1/2 hr or so then waking. I wait to hear real crying then am in her room trying to get her down for the remaining 1.5 hrs. Hand on her tummy, talking softly etc. if she does eventually settle its 10 minutes to 11. Every now and then she will do 1.5 or close to 2.
Regardless she's up at 11
We do the same feeding ritual and then activity till 12:40 includes usually sitting and talking while I finish getting ready for the day (I'm on mat leave and she's my only child) then usually we play with some toys in her room until nap time. Same nap ritual and sometimes she will do 1.25 hrs but lately she's been waking after 1/2. I do the same routine.. I leave her till she "cries" for real and then perform the marathon session. Usually she's not overly upset, just wide awake.
Then up at 3 same feeding ritual.
Activity includes her playing in her room or going for a walk, running errands or jolly jumper unroll I have to start dinner then she plays in her pack & play in the kitchen while I cook. I nurse her around 5 them she sits in her high chair with us at the table while we eat then if there's time I play with her a bit before she eats again around 7 then it's bath time and into Jammie's and same routine as nap. She goes down okay because I can feel her breathing changing quickly so I don't have to stand at her crib with my hand on her tummy for long. Some nights she wakes after 1/2 hr & falls back to sleep other nights her paci falls out & she cries to have it back, after she does she generally falls right back to sleep. I go to bed right away because I get such bad sleeps I set my alarm to wake to dream feed. (oh! And at her 7 pm feed she usually doesn't nurse for very long).
Some times she wakes before the dream feed wanting paci. Lately she will wake and I have to nurse her... She won't just take paci. She wakes anywhere from 3 to 8 times a night. She has never slep through the night. She's gotten close (7-8 hrs straight) but that was short lived.
And it was when she was around 4 months old. I'm really hoping you can give me some advice on what I can change to help her sleep better. (I also have posted for help for her night waking too)

[Ellasmommy38]

Tonight for example. Got her down and it's 1 he later and she's wide awake. At first she was cring so I went in, gave her paci then stayed there with hand on her tummy but she woke right up, wouldn't take paci and began slapping my hand (playfully) blowing raspberries kicking her legs etc. I'm literally at my wits end. I can't stand at that crib anymore and try for hours to get her to sleep!! I finally told her I was leaving because I can't take this anymore. Before tonight she's NeVER done this to me at bed time.. Constantly at nap time but never now. Sigh

[anna*]

OK re your naps I think she's not tired enough. That's why she's not sleeping for long at naps, and she's messing around at bedtime. At the moment it looks like she's getting only around 1.75-2hrs of awake time before you're getting her to sleep, and that's more like the A time for a 3-4 month old. At 6 months I'd expect her to want closer to 2.5hrs, maybe even 2.75, to get a good nap. This is a tricky age because if she has two good naps she likely won't need a catnap.

So you'd aim for

7am awake and milk
8am solids
9.30 nap 1.5hrs
11am awake and milk
12pm solids
1.45pm nap 1.5hrs
3.15pm awake and milk
5.15pm catnap 15mins if necessary
6.30pm last milk
7pm asleep for the night

What do you think?

If she's awake and happy, personally I wouldn't bother trying to resettle. It's just frustrating for you both. Either leave her to play in her crib, or get her up and get on with your day!

[Ellasmommy38]

Thank you! I will try the switch today... Crossing my fingers

[anna*]

Good luck and let us know how it goes. You might find it's too much for her to leap up to 2.5hrs right in one go, in which case do it gradually over a few days. Hang in there mama, this parenting babies business is hard work, and even harder when they don't nap right and give us a little down time.

[Ellasmommy38]

It sure is hard! I even "ordered" a perfect sleeper but some how Ella skipped those classes lol! I'm feeling better that at least there may be hope for us yet. and yes, we may ave to ease into it as she had a bad night last night so I'm assuming will be tired today.

[Ellasmommy38]

First nap was great 1.5 hrs & she woke herself up. Second nap she woke after .5 was playful then just outright miserable. I gave her Advil right before because her teeth were bugging her (I'm assuming it's her teeth because she was very upset) once I finally got her settled (took a long time & I had to cuddle her) she slept really well. I had to wake her. I like this new routine though.. I think once we get this tooth free it might just work thank you!!!

[Ellasmommy38]

We've been using the new routine and it's working great! Only thing is she's still waking at night hungry so I'm nursing her anywhere from 11 pm to 2 am... Is there anyway to work in an addition milk feed?

[anna*]

Are you doing a dream feed?

[Ellasmommy38]

Not currently. I was actually relieved when I got the suggested schedule that it didn't have a dream feed... Setting my alarm for 10:30 was awful. Is that what I have to go back to doing? Ella will be 7 months in 4 days however is is in the 100% for weight and height so I guess she needs it?

[anna*]

If you're getting up at 11 anyway...
What time do you go to bed? Could you do the DF at 10 and then go to bed straight after? Then if it was me (it was) I would be wanting her to go through to about 4-5am before having another feed, and I'd settle her without feeding if she was waking up at 2-3 am.

I guess it's a good time to ask what your goal is for nights. At this age, feeding only once during the night is excellent, so you could choose to just go with it. It's unlikely that adding an extra feed during the day would necessarily mean she would drop a feed at night - her tummy would still be empty iyswim. So you could leave things as they are, or try and get her to do a long stretch of sleep (7 hrs) to coincide with when you'd like a long stretch of sleep - hence the idea to do a DF and then an early hours feed. At the 5am feed you just feed as a night feed and settle her straight back to sleep. No lights, no nappy change, no chat.

[anna*]

I meant to say - if you go for the DF idea - that once she's fairly consistent going from DF to 4-5am, then you can look to drop the dreamfeed pretty quick, so you'll be left with just one feed but in the early hours, and hopefully she would drop that one herself once she's really taking on plenty of solids. We're still at that stage. If my little one hasn't dropped it herself in the next month I'll try dropping it for her, but for now I would rather feed at 5am and go back to sleep until 7, than be up for the day at 6.

[Ellasmommy38]

Makes sense! Glad to know its normal for her (at her age) to still be feeding twice in the night. I never know what exactly is normal so the help on this site has been great!