Desperate help please end of teather

[charlileeuk]

Hi I'm sorry for this post but I'm really At the end of my teather, I'm struggling to cope and need some desperate advice . My lo is 4 m and up an average of 6-8 times a night still.
Background is this, I did easy with my toddler which worked well, tried to do it with Imogen from day one , struggle for 3 m but she was always very unhappy, only drinking 2-3oz, even at 3 m and really bad trapped wind, spending hours screaming. Eventually discovered she had a tongue tie we had snipped and she instantly started drinking more, av 5-6 pz per bottle. She is happier when awake but still up all night, I'm totally exhausted.
I have got strict now things seem to have settled down, but naps are often a problem she often wakes after 20/30/40 mins . I've rebooked at bw book and think maybe she needed to move to a 4 hr routine , I've done this but she still wakes up through the night loads.
For example last night
Bath bottle bed at 7.30, awake 10am before we did the dream feed so she has milk 3oz , back up 1.20, 1,50 gave her milk 3oz, up 2.20, 2.50, 3.30, 3.50, eventually went back until 6am then hubby had to sit with hand on her till 7 when she woke.
I really can't carry on but have no idea what to do, my brain is mashed !
Please please help
Thanks xxxxx

[jessmum46]

Oh ((((((hugs)))))) you must be so exhausted!   

Didn't want to read and run and hope you get some really great advice on here soon. 

Few questions first then hopefully it might be easier for everyone to advise you:

 - any medical problems/discomfort/teething/reflux/colic?  could she be in discomfort at the moment?
 - has LO always been up this often at night or is it a recent thing?
 - what's your routine at nap time and bedtime?
 - what's your LOs personality?  (textbook/angel/touchy/spirited/grumpy)
 - does LO sleep independently (i.e. can you just put down awake and walk away) or do you rock/feed to sleep etc?
 - how have you been resettling at night when she wakes?
 
Also maybe if you could post the last couple of days in EAS format e.g.

E 7am
A 7am - 8.30am
S 8.30 - 10am

etc etc then we can see what's actually happened and whether there is anything in the routine that could help??

((((((hugs))))))

[henrysmomma]

I am new to EASY so therefore don't have any expert advice but I have found a great deal of my little guys sleep issues can be remedied by a trip to the chiropractor.  For example, my Henry has colic and after sailing through five days of picture perfect naps, not so great nights but an overall happy 180 on his overall rest, everything falls apart when his little tummy are out of place as well as neck and back.  He wakes constantly.  It might be worth checking out!  It has saved our sanity many times with the colic.  Not saying you are dealing with colic, but he gets really crabby when he is out and in pain!  Praying it gets better for you quickly!

[charlileeuk]

Thanks guys
She's been to chiropractor 5 times now since tongue tie op. but she's even worse the night after she's been so I'm resting off for a week or so as I really can't cope !
My thoughts are due to the early probs we did hold her to calm her and I think it's a bad habit we've got into.
Bed time goes like this where possible .
6.10/6.15 Bath with sis , out cream (normally screaming by now ) bottle (usually only 3-4oz) sing 3 songs whilst cuddling , white noise on lights out and into bed.
I've been trying to let her settle herself but she ends up fidgeting knocking her dummy out then crying jiggling legs and gets annoyed and upset. Shell only settle if I have a hand on her and shake her side to side if she's really upset.

In the night when she wakes she's normally crying within a couple of mins. I'll put the dummy back sometimes she settles straight away other times I have to put hand on and stop her moving her hands. After a couple of wakings I give her a bottle but she only has 2-3 oz .

The past few days have gone like this
E7.20 3oz
S9.15 woke 10am shushed and dummy till 10.50. She then slept till 11.10
E. 1130-1230 5oz
S 1.07 asleep by 1.17  woke 2.10, 2.50
Up 3.35
E 3.35 5.5oz
S 5.10-5.50
Bath
E 6.30  5oz
S started 6.45 till 7.30 screaming
Up again 9.45
Dream feed 10.45 2.5 oz
Up 12.30, 1.30, 2.30-3.30 never settled, gave water slept till 5.45


Woke 6am
E 3oz
S8, woke 9.15, settled until 9.50
E 10 am 5oz
S 11.50 woke 12.30. Settled untill 1.00
E 1.45 4oz
S 3 pm on and off till 5 as mother I law took her out in pram
Bath 6.15
E 6.45 bed
Woke 10 fed 3oz
Up 2.20 2.50milk 2oz, up 3.50, 4.30, 5,30,
Hand on her till 7

Up7 am
E7.20 -8.20 3oz
S 8.45  woke 9.15 back untill 10.30
E 11.15 5oz
S 12.30 -2 woke twice
E3 4oz
Nap 4-4.45
Bath bottle bed
7.30 milk 3oz
Woke at 10 milk 2oz
1.10 woke bounced and dummy
Df 1.45 2oz
Up 2.20, 2.50, 3.20, 3.50, changed nappy slept until 6 , hand on her till 7


Any advice really appreciated . Thank you . I'm totally done in .
Xxxx



E

[charlileeuk]

Oh forgot to say we used to swaddle her but she used to fight our so much she's now in a grobag. She was better earlier on but never been great.
Used to put her dummy when she woke while I warmed bottle and sometimes shed go back .
I'm not sure what type she is. She's always been quite sensitive though.
Xxx

[jessmum46]

How was your night?

Has anyone ever considered the possibility of reflux with her?  I only ask because she is waking so frequently, especially after feeds at night and often only taking small volumes.  Have a read of http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=654.0 and see what you think?  Or could gas discomfort still be a problem?  Your A times generally look pretty good which make me wonder if there's something else at play? 

I know some LOs sleep can be disturbed by the DF too - have you always done it?  What happens if you don't and just feed when she wakes?

[charlileeuk]

Hi Last night she was basically up every 2 hrs , which is twice as good as normal ! I'm not sure if I have another prob now as she is actually waking up before the df . Last night I was planning df for about 10.30 and she woke at 10 (2hrs after bed) so I fed her and she went back after. She then woke 12, 2 (wouldn't settle so had 2oz milk) the up at 4 and 4.30 screaming and she downed 4oz milk. Then she was up at 6 and hubby got up.
Not sure about reflux as she rarely spits up although we did used to tilt her basket but now she's in the cot it's flat . I'll try tilting that .
She seems to be worse or may e it's just after 4 months I'm knackared !!!   
Thanks for your support really helps to sound off and get advice
Xxxx

[jessmum46]

You're welcome - we all need to have somewhere to talk things through

I do wonder perhaps if you have become a bit of a prop for her sleeping   Has she ever really slept independently (as in put her down fully awake and she goes off with no assistance from you)?  I wonder if she is waking at night (as all babies do briefly) and then doesn't know how to get back to sleep without your help, so cries for you?

Have you ever tried shh/pat to teach her to settle on her own?  Is it something you're interested in doing?  If it is a prop issue I suspect she will continue to wake frequently looking for your assistance to fall back asleep............... 

WDYT?  Happy to post some more info for you to look at if you're interested, also lots of info over on the props board x

[charlileeuk]

Oh thanks so much
Last night she was up every 2 hrs but I fed her at 4.30, she was wide awake and googling so I plonked her in and she chatted or about 40 mins did a few little crys and I must have drifted off as when I woke again she was fast asleep, thought wow amazing ! Just what I'm after, tried this eve to do same but to no avail,  I had to have hand on her . I do think I'm a prop but can't really see how to get out of it.
I'd be grateful for more info, I'm off on the prop board now! I'm obviously nt getting it fully as I thought I was kind of doing the shush pat thing but obviously not.
Thanks once again
Xxxx

[jessmum46]

Woohoo for the falling asleep!!!

Great idea to head over to the props board - you'll get loads of support there to try and gradually withdraw your involvement in her going to sleep   Might be worth posting a new topic over there so someone can hold your hand through it.
 
The basic idea with shh-pat is to try and settle her in the cot with a combination of shhh and patting her bottom/back/whatever she prefers - it's a bit of trial and error as some LOs find one or the other too stimulating - my DD for example prefers the patting to the shhhh.  When you start out you should be doing this until she's fully asleep (which I guess is what you're doing with hand on her).  The idea is then gradually to do less and less, e.g. hand on until she's just asleep, then hand on until drowsy but not asleep, then hand on but step back if you see signs of trying to settle herself (the moving head side to side, thumping legs etc can be part of LO trying to settle), then putting her down hand on briefly then step back, then just put down but stay in room, then put down and leave room.  You should see improvements quite quickly if you're consistent for all naps and NWs (though obviously feed in night if she is genuinely hungry).  Last night showed she did know how to do it so she may surprise you and not take too long!

Good luck x

[charlileeuk]

Thanks so much really appreciate it. I'll head over to props now , had a peek yesterday but nothing seemed to fit us , obviously every baby is different, so like you said I think I'll try post a new thread.
Thanks again