Will going to a BBB solve our problems? Please tell me this will get better soon

[Sam-n-Max's Mommy]

Hi everyone,

We've been having sleep issues with DS for quite some time now.  He dropped his nap a few months ago and will only nap in the car if he has had a very short night and sometimes not even then.  We had been having NWs for awhile which I suspected to be due to GI discomfort (had a different thread going about that) and then EWs I think because he ended up OT.  He is low sleep needs and after the nap drop he was getting ~11.5 hrs per night, sometimes 11, but was really fine with it.  (When he was napping before he dropped, he was getting the same total amount of sleep nap + night).  Things became further complicated by us being displaced because of no power from Hurricane Sandy (2 different hotels, and then my parents once they got power back) and daylight savings (I hate daylight savings).  Interestingly, the NWs stopped while we were away (could be due to a diet change and a new probiotic), but still EWs and late BTs because of BT refusal.  Not much I could do while we were away because it was just such a unsettling time.  He is usually fine on vacations etc, but this was different -- he knew something was wrong.

Anyway, we had a little of this before Sandy, but while we were away and since we've been back (Wednesday), he refuses his crib (and pack and play while we were away).  He was doing this at one point a few weeks ago, but then became ok with his crib again.  Now he will go through the BT routine just fine, but when it is time for me to sing to him and recap our day, he climbs out of my lap and starts carrying on.  At home, I've tried to stay in his room, but he gets very upset and pulls and hits at me.  I am pregnant so it is hard to struggle with him.  If I manage to get him in the crib, he will dive out (literally dive with his arms at his side).  When he first did this weeks ago, we ordered the pieces to convert to his toddler bed.  Hoping those are in this weekend so we can build it and also put up a gate.  Once he gets aggressive with me, I go outside of the room (after removing everything unsafe from his room), turn the monitor on, watch him, and let him know I am outside the door repeatedly so he doesn't think I've abandoned him.  (He's not really crying during this, it's more angry yelling and whining).  Weeks ago, he would ultimately give up and let me put him in the crib, not anymore.  One night he just went to sleep on the floor which broke my heart (and then I transferred him to the crib) and then the past two nights he climbed on the chair in his room and went to sleep there, sprawled out with his legs on the ottoman.  Is this his way of just telling me that he wants to be in a bed? (When we were at my parents house, he wouldn't sleep in the pack and play, but would fall asleep on the bed and then we would transfer him).  Will this go away once we convert to a bed? I just fear it could get worse if he starts getting up in the middle of the night then (like so many toddlers do when they transition), but we obviously have no choice because it is a safety issue first and foremost. 

How would you handle this whole thing? If we were just having a bedtime struggle, I would suck it up and let it pass, but the BT struggle leads to a later BT, and then he EWs, so he's currently only getting 10 hours of sleep a day which I know is too little and I feel awful for him.

Thanks for reading and for your help!!! xx

[*jazzberry*]

How old is he? Is he actually climbing out of the cot? If so I would definitely try him in a bed. I'm not convinced it will solve all the issues but at least you then have a safe base to work from and we can figure out how to keep him there.. ((((Hugs)))))

[Sam-n-Max's Mommy]

Thanks! He's 31 months old.  He's not exactly climbing out (meaning that he's not doing it in a civilized manner trying to get his legs over the sides etc) -- he dives.  He throws the upper half of his body over the side, arms down, and dives out.  Luckily, I've been there to catch him do this and manage to catch him before he hits the ground.  It's usually at BT, so I'm there.  He tries it sometimes in the middle of the night, but it's usually if he wakes and then I go into his room and won't take him out of the crib.  There was one time that he did this that I didn't catch him, I had my back turned and was putting on his white noise.  Thank goodness I had pillows on the floor around the crib, but even so, it was really scary because he could totally break his neck that way

Have been hesitant to put him in a bed because he has motor dyspraxia and, as a result, is behind his peers in terms of his motor skills, so I feared he would fall out of the bed really easily because he might not be able to motor plan getting out of the bed. (The bed will have rails though).  However, at this point, that seems like nothing compared to the danger of his diving .

[TB9]

DD is 26months old and has done really well with her transition to a big girl bed.  She did fight bedtime and sometimes would get up in the middle of the night, and would wake early...but at most it only lasted about 5-6 days.  It's been two weeks since the switch and she's actually sleeping better in her big girl bed then she did in her crib   I say go for it, safety is obviously an issue!

[*jazzberry*]

Eek I would go for it asap! That sounds really dangerous. We put pillows on he floor next to the bed when we did it (we didn't have rails) and i was surprised how little they actually fell out. Toddler beds (ours anyway) are pretty low too so it's really not far to fall. We also had a gate on the door, mainly so i could relax knowing they wouldn't be wondering around the house in the middle of the night, but it obviously has other advantages too.

[Sam-n-Max's Mommy]

Thanks, Tink and jazz! We were able to get the conversion kit late yesterday and will be making the switch today.  I think it will be for the best because even if I worry about him falling out, it won't be as dangerous as what he is doing now.  He has fallen asleep at night sprawled out in the chair in his room for the past 4 nights and we've  moved him to the crib, so I wonder if he'll still do that once he has the bed.  Will probably take a few nights to get used to it.  When I ask him if he wants crib or bed, he says bed, so I hope this is really the case!!!

When you first transitioned, what did you do? Do you sit in there until they fall asleep? Do you lay down with them? Or just treat it the same way as you did when you were using the crib?  DS is an independent sleeper, so not sure if lying down with him is a bad move.  We'll have the monitor and the gate on the door so we can see in.  Also, he has never used a night light, is now the time to put one on in case he gets up in the middle of the night?

[TB9]

We treated it exactly like her crib.  If she got up and started to play, tried to turn on her light, climbed into her chair we went in right away and brought her back to her bed.  Now she rarely gets up out of bed unless one of us goes in to get her up   We did get a nightlight for DD (we actually bought a gro clock which has a nightlight) in case she woke up, and that took a little getting used to as well for her since she was used to a completely dark room.  The only time she fell out of bed was when she tried climbing out in the middle of the night one night...she may even have been half asleep, lol.  It only happened once (since she does have a bed rail she's still pretty contained in there).

Hopefully it goes well for you!  The first week or so may be rough, but at least you're doing it now instead of when you have a new baby to worry about

[Sam-n-Max's Mommy]

Thanks, Tink! The first two nights have gone fairly well.  The first night he fell asleep within 15 minutes with some minor complaining and whining and then slept through most of the night.  He woke at 3:30, but I think it was my fault because I went in because I got up to use the bathroom, looked in the monitor, and saw his head hanging off the part where the side rail was not.  So I moved him and then he started crying that he wanted out.  He went back to sleep probably in 15 minutes.  Then cried out again at 4:30, but then slept until 7:20!  Last night he had a minute of minor protesting at BT and then was asleep in 5 minutes.  He slept through and got up at 6, but he had started to cough because he's a little congested from the heat in the house.  I am hoping that it continues going well!

The one thing is that he treats the bed like a huge crib.  He doesn't sleep under the covers and I took the pillow away because the first night I would go in and put his head back on it, but he would keep nuzzling underneath it which I didn't love.  So he's not using the pillow, not sleeping under the sheets/blanket, and is all over the bed at night LOL...but he's sleeping.   Do I just let him do his thing and he will figure it out? Or should I be really trying to teach him how he should really be sleeping in the bed?

Sorry for all of the questions, thanks!!

[*jazzberry*]

Hi sorry for not responding, we were away for a couple of days and had no internet. Sounds like the transition is going well.we didn't bother with a pillow initially, in fact even now my boys don't always use their pillows so i wouldn't worry about that. The blanket and duvet will come with time too, if you are worried that he is cold maybe you could put an extra layer of clothes on till he gets used to staying under the blanket? Ds1 was all over the bed in the early days too, sometimes he would be totally upside down in the mornings lol! At some point they work it out so again i wouldn't worry at the moment as long as he is sleeping. Sounds like you are doing great.

[*jazzberry*]

Oh and we put a nightlight in the hallway so it wasn't directly in his room but stopped it being pitch black.

[TB9]

DD doesn't really use her pillow either, and she refuses to let us put blankets on her most nights unless she's really really tired.  I just sneak in before I go to bed and put the covers on her, then she generally stays under them until morning.