11 Weeks old driving me bonkers!!!!

[RENI]

ok I know it's normal that babies don't sleep but I am going nuts with sleep deprivation.
He will only sleep if held or rocked in the pram and as soon as you start rocking he wakes up.we do the 4S,I have tried the shush pat and it doesn't really work with him.I really would like to teach him to sleep as I did with my now 2 years old boy but I am not winning.I can't even do the housework because most of the times even in the wake times he complains because he wants to be held.Is Easy is as follows:
WU/feed:6:30
8:30 ish starting to try to get him to sleep but it could take up to an hour
9:30 feed and so on every 3 hour.Shush pat doesn't work at all it seems to aggravate him.
He does cluster feed until 8ish and then the fun begins.He normally manages to stay asleep from 9:30 till 11 ish and then I feed him again.If he is in bed with me he will stay sleeping until 2ish end then sleep again till 5:30 but if he is in his cot he could wake more then 10 times.I don't know what to do.Is it too soon for PUPD? I forgot what the mantra cry is like maybe I am trying to assist him too soon?
Please help me out here as 3 hours sleep per night is too hard to deal with especially with a very active 2 years old boy.

[jessmum46]

(((Hugs))) for the tough time you've been having - sleep deprivation is awful

WU/feed:6:30
8:30 ish starting to try to get him to sleep but it could take up to an hour

I think the issue here is that your A time is far too long and by the time you're trying to put LO down, he is already extremely OT - Average A times and "Is my baby ready to increase A time?"  An average at this age would be more like 1h20-30, eyes open to eyes closed.  You may find that if you start trying to put him down a lot earlier aiming to have him asleep by 1h20-30 then shh-pat is much more effective.  I wouldn't recommend PUPD at this age - he's too young and it will be over-stimulating for him.

Sorry I have to sort out my LO now but will be back to check in later, please feel free to post with any more questions

[barbaraz78]

I don't have so much advice, but just offering HUGS Reni!

[RENI]

When can I start PUPD? Can you please remind me what mantra cry is? Does it come with tears?
Thank you so much

[jessmum46]

A mantra cry is often a rhythmic, monotone ahh ahh noise, though some babies can be much more vocal. If there are tears though it sounds more like a proper cry

PUPD is not recommended under the age of 4 months and even after that was only intended to be used as a last resort. In the early days, shh pat or a variation of it is far more effective when used in combination with appropriate A times. You may have to experiment to see how your LO prefers it if the traditional way is too stimulating. You can try stroking the cheek or forehead, resting a hand on the chest, just shh, just pat etc Have you ever tried it I your arms to get LO used to the technique before trying it in the crib?

Does your LO have any discomfort issues eg gas or reflux?

[RENI]

we thought he had reflux but gaviscon made no difference.Most def he has gas because of his cleft lip he swallows a lot of air when feeding but we give him infacol.I have tried the shush paat in my arms but as soon as I lay him down in his cot he looses it.He slept with me again last night and never woke up really till morning he just wanted hid dummy (because he can 't keep it in) So persevere with the shush pat?

[jessmum46]

I'd stick with it - you won't see results in just a day or two but you should see slow improvements over time if you are consistent.  Was he asleep when you put him down after shh-patting or just calm?  I'd actually suggest shh-patting all the way until he's in a deep sleep to start with before putting down.  Once he's used to this as a settling method, you can work on putting him down progressively more awake and do more of the shh-pat in the crib