Won't settle for DH

[amayzie]

So hamish really won't settle for DH at night- in the middle of the night or at bed time He will settle at bed time if i'm not here- but if i'm here i have to do it all. I figured i'd wait till DH is on holidays to tackle it- which is 2 weeks away- but am not sure on the best way to do it. Do we try a 'DH only' approach? where no matter how upset he is DH does the settling? so he may have to rock him, hold him- whatever? DH does it all? He honestly goes CRAZY screaming for me- to the point where it seems like he;s going to vomit Is this something we should tackle?

[ZacsMumme]

I can't remember how we did this with Z, I 'think' we just did BT together first, then maybe once he was used to D don't most BT he just gave me kiss goodnight. Or I would come in for kiss. Then I think re NW when we did WI/WO DH did this as I caved every.time. Sorry not much help I know....But hugs for you!

[becj86]

Is it really an issue for you? If he's fine with your DH when you're not there, I don't really see the problem More of a reason to go out

TBH, I'm a big fan of the path of least resistance when it comes to this stuff because L is so spirited and gets so worked up. DH was settling and L screamed for 3hr straight and DH eventually caved. I cave pretty fast because I don't really see an issue with a few extra cuddles - there will come a time when I am begging for cuddles and waking him at 11am so he's up and dressed before midday... so I may not be the best person to listen to about this one, but then again if you're thinking of doing it 'because you should' or 'because no-one else has these issues', maybe its ok to just know that there are others out there

FWIW, we all eat dinner together then DH does the shower/bath (while I BW), reads some stories, then I do some more stories (what can I say, L's a story-fiend and it actually is a calming activity now), a BF, then DH kiss goodnight, big hugs from me and into bed, so DH isn't completely uninvolved.

[amayzie]

The issue is that when i go back to work after 2 weeks off over christmas DH then has 3 weeks more holidays while i;m back at ork 4 days- NOT looking forward to me doing all the night wakings and DH getting 8 hours sleep a night!! Dh is involved- but i think that when he's tired or something that him doing the story and bed time is the first thing to go- he does the bath, but it sort of ends up any night when he can't be bothered- or that we think hamish will be tricky i do it- then it sort of ends up that i end up doing BT more/almost always- then it never seems to work when DH does it!!

Oh- and i'm only partially doing it 'because i should' - the main thing is the night wakings- annoying when we are both at work- infuriating when DH is on holidays!! If he went right down when i got up to him then no problems... but it's not like he settles like a dream with me

I will try the 2 of us doing BT for the next few weeks.... DH was trying WIWO- how long should we push at this before we bail and i go in? Tonight we did about 40 minutes... DH doing WIWO, and also trying to hold him (this was not very successful though...)  Should we be going for longer than this? We try things like DH taking him out for a drink to calm down etc- so its not like it's 40 mins of screaming...

[becj86]

the main thing is the night wakings- annoying when we are both at work- infuriating when DH is on holidays!!

LOL! Fair enough

Pretty sure that theoretically DH is meant to stick at it til H goes back to sleep - don't want to teach him if he cries long enough mummy will come in, yk?

[ZacsMumme]

the main thing is the night wakings- annoying when we are both at work- infuriating when DH is on holidays!!

LOL! Fair enough

Pretty sure that theoretically DH is meant to stick at it til H goes back to sleep - don't want to teach him if he cries long enough mummy will come in, yk?

^^ yup....first night of Wi/WO for us was 1.5 hrs, then next 40mins then 5 I would say though that if after 3-4 days your not seeing improvement it's not working YK? Hugs

[amayzie]

cool- i thought that might have been the way- hence the waiting for the holidays! Ok- we'll try the mummy and daddy both puttig him to bed for the next 2 weeks, then once the holidays come it's ON!!

[ZacsMumme]

Good luck! If he lets you try to gradually get dad to do more YK?

[amayzie]

we tried the 'both put him to bed' bit tonight- HILARIOUS!! he laughed at us both there singing the song and then JOINED IN!! BUT- he went to sleep - so all good!

[becj86]

Better hilarious than dismal

[amayzie]

any day!

[ZacsMumme]

Lol, I remember those days, DH would read the book, I'd hold it I think we took turns at singing twinkle twinkle till, one day it was no no no - twinkle was dismissed

Honestly though, m sure he will get there...Z now loves DH putting him to bed

[amayzie]

DISMISSED TWINKLE!!! I can't imagine it!!

[ZacsMumme]

I know! It was a sad day on the upside he dismissed it for bed so he got chucked straight in;)