3 yr old with severe jet lag - NWs - any suggestions to get routine on track?

[zebstiredmum]

Hi there - we just got back from 5 weeks in NZ, Australia and Singapore.  DS turned 3 while we were away, and i was so impressed with how well he adapted to travelling/ time zones while away - no problems at all until we started coming back across the time zones. 

In Australia time difference from NZ was minus 3 - we had a couple of nights of waking in the night and getting into bed with us, then early waking (5am).  Time difference to Singapore was another minus 2 - one night of NW, and early wakings daily, again around 5am.  This was manageable though.

Coming back to Uk - another minus 8 hours, so a very long day on the day we flew back: DS was up 05:30 Singapore time, slept for 2 1/2 hours at midday, and 3 hours in the night (10pm - 1am) (Singapore time) we landed at 2am Singapore time, 6pm Uk time.  DS slept in the cab for 2 hours, and we then let him stay up for another 2 hours when we got home, thinking he would then sleep till about 6am, as he hadn't had a lot of sleep in total.

WRONG!!! DS was up at 4am and wailed (not really crying or upset, just making a lot of noise!) because he wanted to watch tv.  Got back to sleep around 5am we thought, but then we heard him again at 5.30am, and he was up at 7am.  Nap for about 2 1/2 hours and bedtime 7.30pm

Next night - up at 12am and 4am - wailed / tantrumed for 2 hours till allowed to watch tv 6am.   Big tantrum when tried to get him to nap - about 2 hours, finally asleep 1pm and woken by me 3.30pm,  bedtime 7.30pm

Night 3 - up at 1am, 2am and finally asleep 5am - 7.30am.  Day time nap 1 1/2 hours - woken by me

Night 4 Ilast night) - into bed wiht me 2am, and slept for a bout 1 hour only then up at 7am.

Should i let him nap longer?  Or less?  later BT?  Anyone been through this with any suggestions please! 

[rach321]

Just going through a jet lag recovery with my two right now ( ages 4 and 2) just had 3 weeks in west coast Canada so 8hrs time difference! I think last night the 4 yr old slept through so that took 4 nights since our return but the 2 yr old still had a nw for 1 hr at 2.30am which was an improvement on the midnight 2 hr nw that we had seen the rest of the week. I've been feeding them up all day so I know if they are awake it's not due to hunger! I would try and keep him in his bed in his room if he is awake during the night but if he's wide awake at 4am then you may as well just get up ( feed feed feed him!) have an early lunch and nap and wake him after 2 hrs then do early bedtime and see how it goes! I think it took a good week to 10 days for us to get back on track last time we went - it a tough process for all involved! Good luck!

[jessmum46]

My DD was younger when we travelled but we did an 11h time difference.  It takes roughly a day for every hour of time difference to get back on track so you are well within the expected wonky period . Personally I would stick to normal routine as much as possible - so offer meals and nap at normal time, allow him the normal length nap (possibly a touch longer but not by much - you don't want it stealing his night sleep) and do BT at the normal time.  At 3y he can understand 'night' and 'day' so even if he doesn't feel like sleeping I would be consistent with keeping him in his room at night, minimal engaging with him (allow him to play quietly on his own with dim light if necessary but no TV or stimulating activities) and not allowing him to start the day until normal time.  Make the day bright, fun, energetic, lots of time outdoors if you can and make sure he eats plenty.  Then just ride out the OT for a few more days .

[zebstiredmum]

Thanks for your replies

We've stuck with normal routine, but let him have an hour longer nap (before holiday he had 1 hr nap, 7.30pm BT and slept till between 6-7am, on holiday he had 2 hr nap and 8.30 BT and slept till 7) but we've now been through night 6 with no improvement - last 2 nights he's been up at 2am. 

We were trying co-sleeping - night before last he was in with me and finally got back to sleep at 5am, then slept till 7am, but cried out twice and I rubbed his back to get him off again, so basically I had 3hrs sleep + 1 hr sleep as DD woke at midnight, only for a few mins, but it woke me (she's in our room, DH is in spare room while we try and get DS back on track).

Last night DD was awake 1am-2.30am, then DS went in to DH at 2am, then came into me at 3.30am, we tried putting him back in his room - DH stayed outside the door all night - it took about 45mins of screaming and tantrums, then he was quiet for about 1 1/2 hours - but don't know if he actually slept - we hope so.

With your DCs was there a gradual improvement over the time or was there a sudden change?  It feels as though we're never going to get any sleep again at the moment. 

Any tips for what to do with DS from 2am onwards - all our methods for getting him to sleep are failing miserably

[rach321]

It was definitely a gradual improvement. Do you normally co-sleep with him? Make sure you all get plenty of fresh air and daylight exposure - it all helps.

[Shellha]

We did the opposite trip over Xmas NY with our 6yo DS, 4yoDS and 6wo DD and we found the jetlag HEAPS worse going to the UK than returning home.

Not sure how you feel about this, but we gave a strong antihistamine to the boys (it's called phenergan  here, couldn't find it in the uk) 2 nights in a row and it wa enough to get them to sleep thru and get back on track. My DD took a little longer.

Hang in there, I would expect with all those time differences that it would take a week to get back to some semblance of normality. Grab sleep while you can and make sure you get him outside ( we are lucky that it is summer and could use the pool)  so he is exposed to daylight, it helps reset them apparently!,