ready to give up. i can't take any more :(

[lilyflowerbud]

we've been doing this for 2 weeks.

it was working.

everythign has gone wrong.

we have NO routine as i can not get my devil child to nap.

it took 2 hours to settle her last night. she then woke after and hour for another hour to settle. then woke at half 5.

she lays in her cot screaming, thrashing and rubbing her eyes. she is exsausted. if i try to pick up she arches her back and screams worse. i try susssh pat but it does nothing.

i can't take it anymore.

i am quite sure she hates me and does this to punish me.

L

[jessmum46]

((((Hugs)))) honey I absolutely know how frustrating baby sleep can be, especially if you are not getting sleep yourself.  You sound really stressed out - is there anyone in real life you are able to talk to about how you're feeling?  Do you have support at home?

There are all sorts of reasons why babies don't sleep well, but I can promise you it's not because she hates you or wants to upset you in any way.  How old is she?  Does she have any medical problems e.g. Reflux?  Is she teething?  What sort of routine are you aiming for?

[*Becky*]

lots of hugs hun, it can seem so hard when they are young can't it but I promise she is not doing this because she hates you....could you post her age and current routine for us to take a look xx

[Ima shel Alon]

Just wanted to offer hugs. I know exactly how you feel, I have been there myself and it's not a nice place to be in.

You said that you started 2 weeks ago and it was going well - what did you start? Sleep training?

[Erin M]

((((hugs))))) sweetie, babies are not easy sometimes!  Post some info and we'll help!

[ENMS]

Lots of (((hugs))). Here to help you as well, and I hope you have people to help you out in real life too.

[cuckoochick]

Dropping by with hugs for you too

[Haribo2012]

Hugs to u, LO definitely doesn't hate u!! My DS was a nightmare for the first 6 months just always seemed so mad with life!!
He's 8 months now and a lot happier! Don't give up these ladies will help you get sorted :-)

[katie80]

Adding in my (((hugs))), hon.  She really did respond well to a bit of training, so let's see if we can't figure this out for you.  And I agree, she surely doesn't hate you and isn't doing this to punish you (although I do know the feeling of resentment when your child doesn't sleep).  Is there anyone around who can give you a break for an afternoon or a night?

[ZacsMumme]

Hugs Hun, your not alone, my wee cherub has hit a developmental leap and taking us hours to get to sleep too. It is exhausting. There are days I'm so tired and over it but do know your baby loves you more than anything else in the world,and is just struggling ATM to get thorough a tough time.

[lilyflowerbud]

Whisperers....

thank you so much for your kind messages of support. they have brought tears to my eyes.

I know that i suffer from depression. It might be postnatal. It might be due to the loss of my first baby at birth. I don;t know. I know that the combination of feeling like a failure and the lack of sleep really affected me badly.

I have taken a step back for a few days to calm down and try to sort out my head a little. my husband was able to take a little time of work to care for us. i am very lucky, i know. I have seen some drs. too.

I do know she's not actually a devil child. I do love her more than everything. she is my reason for being.

I accidentally parented, i think, because i just wanted her by me every second of the day as i was so scared i'd lose her too. She's 7 months now and i have reaslied that this is not the best option for either of us and not maintainable.

I think it worked the first week as i was much more consistant and calmer. Maybe the second week might have been some regression? does regression happen that quickly? i think i need to go back to basics and try to start over a bit.

I wonder if she could pick up on my stress? make her feel nervous about sleep too? my husband has much more luck in getting her to sleep.
 
I don;t think i can write my routine as i don't think there is one any more.

She only really naps for 40 mins. i strugge to resettle her. Could she just need 40 min naps? is that even possible? if i could get her to do 3 x 40 mins then would that be enough if she slept through the night? (she doesn't)

She wakes a couple of times at least in the night. as i feed her. i know i shouldn't, but am scared i guess.

i do at least feel calmer now.

Lilyflowerbud xxx


 

[jessmum46]

Oh wow - I had no idea you'd been through so much of course you wanted to keep your precious LO safe with you - never regret that for an instant.

The difficulty you've had could certainly be a regression - it's very common after a few days of things going well.  It could also be she needs a bit of an adjustment to the routine you're aiming for, and yes she will certainly be able to pick up on your stress.  What routine are you hoping for (even if its not happening at the moment)?

[katie80]

Oh wow - I had no idea you'd been through so much of course you wanted to keep your precious LO safe with you - never regret that for an instant.

This^^^ More (((hugs))) hon, you are not a failure in any way.  Parenting is so, so tough and even tougher when you're sleep deprived. I'm so glad you have a great DH!

It's totally fine to feed her two times at night if she wakes now.  Sure, she may not technically need it, but you need to do what you feel ready to do and if night training isn't it right now, then don't worry. 

I do agree with Katherine in that what you're experiencing could definitely be some regression.  It typically happens around days 5-7, give or take.  She could need a routine adjustment too. I think I remember you trying for around 2.5hr A before, but if she's 7mo, she might need more like 3hr.

You're doing a great job.  Stick with it and we'll do our best to help you get more sleep for the two of you.

[Erin M]

I think you're doing a wonderful job.  I'm glad that you have some help.  Lots of (((hugs))).

[ZacsMumme]

((Hugs))
I couldn't imagine going through what you have, it's totally understandable to wanted to have your Bubs with you every second. I so happy you have a supportive DH, this makes a world of difference. Let him help, and don't feel bad for a second if you need him too.

I agree with Katie re A times, try a gentle increase and see if it helps the naps and settling. Let us know how tonight goes. X