Help deciding which sleep training method to use & 2-1 transition questions

[blondie91582]

My LO is 10 months old. We used PU/PD with him when he was younger to stop using a pacifier & help him sleep on his own. He was doing great until I started nursing him to sleep about a month & a half ago when we moved. It wasn't the best thing in the long run, but it was necessary at the time due to long days in the car & staying in hotels. When we got to our new house, I stopped nursing to sleep & straightened out his routine. Just as things started going well... he suddenly started refusing his afternoon nap. Everyone keeps telling me that he is too young for the 2-1 transition, but he's a very stubborn little fella & won't have it any other way. Over the past 2 weeks, I've tried capping the first nap (he was really angry, but still wouldn't take the PM nap) & pushing back the AM A time by 15 mins (which worked really well for a few days, but then went back to normal). The only way he'll take any PM nap is in the car & even then, it's only for 20-35 mins. I know he's young, but it seems to me that he's decided that he's only going to take 1 nap now. He was getting up at 7 am, taking 2 1.5 hour naps & then waking once or twice in the night (once to BF). Then his naps got shorter, until he dropped the PM nap. The past few mornings he's been waking up at 5am! (His dad gets up then, but it doesn't usually wake him) Our EASY looks like this the past few days:

Wake 5 am (I don't get him out of bed until 6)
E 630 BF
E 730 solids
S 840-1000
E BF
E 1100 solids
S attempted nap 130 - I've tried this a bit earlier & a bit later, but neither made a difference (after about 40 mins, we either take a car ride for a quick nap, or if he seems awake & happy, I let him stay up but do calm activities until bed)
E 230 BF
E 330 solids
E 445 BF
S 500 (super EBT)

Right now, when we put him down after his wind down, we sit in the room until he falls asleep & then leave. If it goes well (usually just for the AM nap) he plays for a few mins, lays down & goes to sleep. For the other times, he plays a lot, will cry off & on & eventually has a melt down. I tried doing PD with him in the beginning, but he just keeps standing back up & is OS by it. I've tried singing, talking to him, ignoring him, sitting closer, sitting farther, etc). Nothing I do seems to help. He seems to want me in the room, but if I do anything at all, it distracts him & he starts to cry. If I don't react when he starts crying, it escalates pretty quickly.

I was thinking WI/WO might work with him. What do you think?

We're also thinking about just going with a set nap time & EBT, rather than trying to force the PM nap all the time. I'm guessing he'll be OT for a bit, & then even out. Thoughts?

[*Kara*]

I agree that he is too young for one nap.

That said, his first A time is really short for his age.  Most LOs are doing a good 3.5-4 hrs of A time at his age.  Have you tried to keep him up longer in the AM?  This would likely get you a longer first nap and get your day out a bit longer... then do a good 3.5-4 hrs and allow a CN to get him to BT.

Something like this:

Wake 6am
Nap 10-12noon
CN 4-445pm
BT 7pm

What do you think?

[blondie91582]

His first A time is about 3h45m. I count from when he woke up, because he plays in his bed until 6. If he woke up at 6 or later, I would get him up after just a few minutes. People keep saying that he's too young, but I don't know what to do if he won't sleep. The only way he'll sleep for the pm nap at all is if it's in the car & that's not even guaranteed.

[blondie91582]

I forgot to mention that he did the 3-2 transition at 5 months. I kept offering the 3rd nap, but he would get really agitated/frustrated. He did the same thing he's doing now (will play or fight it the entire time that his nap should last). When I finally stopped trying to make him take it & stretched his A time a bit, it only took a couple days for his routine to even out & he started sleeping better. That's why I was going to let him transition early this time too, but I'm hesitant because I keep reading that once you go to one nap, it's hard for them to take 2 again. He had a couple of weeks of the 2nd nap being difficult, but then he just flat out denied it for a few days in a row. That was the first time I ever took a drive to make him fall asleep. I just don't know what else I can do if he's going to keep refusing to take the nap. I was thinking that I could still put him in his bed & offer the nap, but if after 30-40 mins he's still not sleeping, we could sit in his dimly lit room & do something really calm for the rest of his nap time. What do you think?

Maybe I should have posted this to the NAPS forum. I wasn't sure...

[*Kara*]

His first A time is about 3h45m. I count from when he woke up, because he plays in his bed until 6.

This could be part of the issue hun.  Time that LO is alone in their room playing in the crib really isn't counted as full A time... most moms find that it really counts as about "half" of what they really are doing... so if in crib for 1 hr, count as 30 mins, make sense?

The other thing you could do is make his day longer to allow time for 2 naps.  Most LOs (mine included) have a day as much as 14 hrs in length to fit two naps in as they simply can't handle the long day otherwise.  To move to one nap, LO must be able to do 5 hrs of A time, twice in a day.  If you can still get a good nap with less than 4 hrs, there is no way he is ready yet.

You also might have to start your day when he wakes to regulate his body clock for the changes... so if he wakes at 5am, get him up.  This will make his first nap no later than 9am... and should give you time for a second nap mid afternoon (you may have to cap it to preserve BT though).  Then once he is sleeping well for naps, start to shift his day while capping his PM nap to keep BT reasonable... this should get you a month before we have to get more serious with moving to a single nap.  I know well how hard the last month is - my DD went to one nap consistently at 11 months 1 week.

Something like this would be the goal:

Wake 6am
Nap 10-12noon
CN 4-445pm
BT 730pm

What do you think?

[blondie91582]

I'll try that, but he's still fighting me all the way on the PM nap. He usually goes down really easy for his first nap, but today was different. He had a really long morning due to an appointment that couldn't be avoided & he refused to go down for a nap until 1:40! It was a terribly rough day for us both.

I hope this doesn't sound rude, but could you all please address the question of what to do if he keeps refusing? Everyone keeps telling me he's too young, but I can't force him to sleep, regardless of his age. Is there something else that people usually do in this situation?

Also, he was born 2 weeks after his EDD. I've seen people adjust age if their baby is preemie, so wouldn't I add 2 weeks for him (for behavioral/milestone purposes)? He's done everything else "early", so that makes sense to me.

Thanks again!

[*Kara*]

he was born 2 weeks after his EDD. I've seen people adjust age if their baby is preemie, so wouldn't I add 2 weeks for him (for behavioral/milestone purposes)? He's done everything else "early", so that makes sense to me.

The adjustment for preemies generally evens out around 6 months of age in terms of A times etc, unless very premature (think more than 8 weeks early).  Two weeks late won't make a difference at this age.

I hope this doesn't sound rude, but could you all please address the question of what to do if he keeps refusing?

You have to push his AM nap closer to mid day if he refuses to take a PM nap completely (only if you know he will monster nap - like 3 hrs) and then do BT really early.    Or, you could try a very short AM catnap of no more than 30 mins and then put down about 3 hrs later and let him sleep.

[blondie91582]

Thanks! I've tried capping his AM nap, but he still won't nap in the PM. I tried capping it & then keeping the subsequent A time the same for a couple days. When that didn't work, I tried capping it, but shortening the A time afterwards a bit, but that also didn't work out. It might be because he HATES being woken up. He's a mystery! haha

[*Kara*]

How short did you cap his AM nap?  Some LOs go all the way down to 20 mins to keep a PM nap....