Please Help Me! No naps and 4 am waking!

[sande_beach]

Hi there,

I just found this forum recently, and I'm hopeful someone can give me some advice.

My 1 year old son has always been a poor sleeper, sleeping in his crib, but waking frequently. We walked and walked him until he slept (I know now that was a bad idea). When he was about 9 months, he cut 4 teeth at once, caught a few colds, and after that point, there was no more crib sleeping. The only sleeping he would do was ON us, night or day. After 2 nights where we got 3 hours sleep combined, I started some serious research. Despite all the well-meaning CIO suggestions from friends and family, we were firmly against it.

Then we found out about the PU/PD method. It was like magic, and he started to sleep most of the way through the night on his own. Wonderful! If only it could have solved all our problems. It will not work for us on naps, or for early wake ups at all.

Here is a typical day:

4-5 am: Wakes up, PU/PD for 30 mins, we give up, let him sleep on one of us
7 am: Everyone gets up
9:30-10 am: Attempt nap, PU/PD 30 mins, give up, stays awake (occasionally sleeps for 15-20 minutes max). If I allow it, he will sleep on me (sometimes over an hour).
1:30 pm: Attempt nap, sometimes works for 15-20 minutes. Again, if I allow it, he will sleep on me for a longer period.
7 pm: PU/PD for 10 mins or less, sleeps through until morning.

Does anyone have any ideas that could help us? We are really at a loss here.
Thank you!! 

[LucK]

I'm wondering if perhaps he may be ready to drop that morning nap, or keep it short so he has an easier time taking an afternoon nap.... I started to cut down on my two DDs am nap befor 12 months because of daycare but once they stopped taking a long morning nap, their afternoon nap got much longer.  Both DDs took a morning cat nap (20 min or so) until maybe 16 months.  I also moved their afternoon nap earlier to around 12:30.   If your son is OT by 1:30 it may be much more difficult to settle. 

I never used PU/PD so can't help you there but it sounds as sometimes you use this and sometimes you AP, so not very consistent and he may have just gotten used to this.  After a bout of teething and colds my DD1 slept in our bed for couple of months after which i couldn't function any more as I couldn't sleep.  Anyways I used WIWO very successfully.  MY DD1 was about 14 months then so your son may be too young.  But when we first started WIWO my DH and I alternated and my DD1 got worse as I soon realized DH wasn't 100% consistent.  So I took over and it took about 5 days but she started STTN again.

BTW, do you have black out blinds?  Some babies are very sensitive to light.  Also white noise machine will block out noises, if he's hearing you or outside noise, this could be stimulating him.

[*Kara*]

I agree with previous poster hun... he is not ready for a nap in the AM so he doesn't sleep long.  No amount of PUPD will make a baby sleep who isn't tired.  Also, I see that you give up with PUPD after a short time... one of the things with PUPD is that you have to see it through.

WIWO is reserved for use only if a child has been an independent sleeper already (meaning you can put them to bed awake and they will go to sleep without assistance).  It can be used from 8 months, but is really best suited over a year of age (separation anxiety can make it very tough from 8 months to a year or so).

Have a look here for some typical routines at his current age (there are some who are one a single nap and some who are in transition and will have one short nap and one longer one).

chronological EASY samples, 10-12 months

Chronological EASY samples, 13+ months

[sande_beach]

Thank you for your responses!

He does seem to be very tired in the morning (pulling at ears, yawning, sucking his thumb), and will fall fast asleep ON me for a decent period. The problem is getting him into his crib. I would be fine with switching to one nap, but he just ends up crawling into my lap and falling asleep in the morning anyway. Even if he is fast asleep, the minute I even approach his room, he wakes up and starts to scream.

Do you think I should try to keep him awake for the morning?

We did stick it out with PUPD for night times (40+ times some nights), and that did work. How long should you do it for naps though? It seems if you're doing it for longer than the nap should actually last, it sort of defeats the purpose, no? Is 30 minutes not long enough at nap times?

His room is quite dark with our blinds, and we have a sound machine, but I haven't used it much. The wakings seem to happen at a consistent time, which makes me think it has more to do with his sleep cycle than disturbance.

The only time I tried WIWO with him, the minute I left the room he vomited from crying so hard. Also, he has passed out twice from intense crying. (With us THERE!) He is an intense little fella.

Thanks again! I really appreciate your help.

[*Kara*]

Honestly, I wouldn't use PUPD or WIWO right now.. I think you have far more of a routine issue than anything else hun.

I would do what you have to do to get him to a decent wake up time of 6/7am (whatever works for your family).. then, keep him up for 3.5 hrs... put him down and see what happens   Go ahead and use shush-pat if you need to (or even put him down drowsy if that is easier for you right now - that can be easily stopped once he has a good routine).  Don't wake him from this nap... if he sleeps at least 90 mins, go ahead with a second A time of 3.5 hrs.  Depending on the time of day you are at when this nap starts, cap as needed (by waking him) to keep a decent bedtime viable.  A 30 min nap will get you about 2-2.5 hrs of A time at this age.