Can someone hold my hand through figuring out the A time pls?

[Ev0411]

My 3 and a half month old is tiring me out. Every week I get one good day with long naps and I think to myself: I've got it now! Then the rest of the week keeps getting worse until I change something and then I might luck out and the cycle continues. So far I aim at 1.45min A time for all A times but my dd gets sooo tired and grumpy I pretty much only make 1.30min. All her naps now are always 45mins long on the dot. Can't extend. Anyone up for hand-holding? Tomorrow is a new day, right?

[Ev0411]

This am:
Wu and E - 8.15 (unusual 8pm bedtime last night)
A (1.45min)
S 10-10.30 (30min)

When dd wakes up she is happy; cannot resettle; does not tolerate any playing - wants to be fed whatever time she wakes up from a nap - long or short or else she just cries and cries. Cannot put her back to sleep.

E 10.35
A (1.20min)
S 11.50-1225 (35min)

A

E 13.05 (cried if tried to resettle or play any longer)

The day will now continue like that with ot/ut naps despite my best efforts. That's why I usually try my hardest to at least figure out her first A time/ nap. Used to sleep longer. Now I'm at a loss. Last week I stuck to 1.30-1.35min A time in am and consistently got 45min naps. Today worked hard to make it to 1.45min after a great night and got a 30min nap. She is an indep. sleeper, we bundle, use a soother, dark room etc. she's capable of sleeping longer but this has been going on for 2-3 weeks so it can't be a growth spurt. What should I stick to/ try? Pls help. Short naps just give me very little time to eat/shower etc. sigh.

[*Kara*]

Right off the bat, your first A time is too long for her age hun... check out this link for typical A times:

Is my baby ready to increase his ‘A’ time? (incl. 'A' times for younger babies)

Her first nap is 30 mins = classic OT nap...

Her 45 min naps could well be developmental - it's very common from 3-6 months for a baby to be unable to transition on their own... essentially, 45 min naps are not always a sign that A time needs an increase at this age.

The first thing I would try is pulling her A time right back to the expected time for her age: 1 hr 20-30 mins. She likely has some OT lingering, so I would err on the side of caution and try 1 hr 20 (meaning you want her to be sleeping at 1 hr 20, so start wind down around 1 hr 10mins).

Good luck

[Ev0411]

Hello. Thanks. Yes, I do have that link bookmarked actually. Because my dd is just over 3months old and her naps were always 45mins long with a 1.30min A time - is the reason why I tried to bump it up to 1.45min. Trying to follow ur advice: had a good night with a 7pm bt, 2 night feeds and a 6.45 wu. I kept her first A time at 1.20mins. She had a 45min nap. I tried to cut next one down to 1.15mins bc of the short nap but she had no tired signs and refused to go down when I tried. She fell asleep at 1.35mins after some more play and obviously then ended up with a 30min nap. What should I try in the next few days do u think?

[hamlinm]

I'm having very similar issues with my 3 month old (13 wks). You're not alone. But as you said, tomorrow is a new day!
I've been contemplating just accepting her 45 min naps since I cannot extend them and I'm also looking after my toddler so I can't spend time assisting her to sleep.
She, like yours, can self settle and only wakes twice in the night so I know she's capable of sleeping longer. I'm not sure how to adjust her A times but recently we frequently get off track early in the day which messes up the while day schedule.
Best of luck and fingers crossed for tomorrow

[*Kara*]

As pp said, sometimes it is best to accept the short naps for a while.. most babies will outgrow them by 6 months.

If you are wanting to extend them, by all means, stay consistent with the shorter A times for a week or so and see if anything changes - it's not going to happen overnight hun.

Hugs!

[Ev0411]

Thanks. At least that's an honest answer. . Won't stress about the naps.

[hamlinm]

I find the idea of waiting three months really depressing. We no longer have any schedule and it's really exhausting. Any suggestion of a "good" 45 min nap day schedule for a 3.5 month old?
If she does 45 min naps and 1 hr awake times (shortened due to short naps) all day it's ridiculous-- impossible to go out or do anything and her feeding times clash with naps.
I don't know how to start planning the days now around 45 min naps and I'm finding it very stressful/depressing while also trying to look after my toddler.
Any help appreciated

[Ev0411]

I currently do a 2 / 2.5 hr easy because of the short naps. Eat / activity / nap (usually 45mins). I like the predictability of this and my LO associates waking up with eating so it's a real struggle to hold off the feed. I obviously don't wake her if she does happen to nap longer once in a blue moon. Is that routine ok? It really works for me right now as it takes all the stress away of trying to extend naps or holding off feeds. Do u think that's ok? I don't want to create a snacker but I'm hoping that when her naps r longer she will switch to a 3.5-4 hr easy. Any insight on that?

[*Kara*]

I find the idea of waiting three months really depressing. We no longer have any schedule and it's really exhausting. Any suggestion of a "good" 45 min nap day schedule for a 3.5 month old?

A good friend of mine had a 45 min napper until 7 months of age... she just went about her day without really being too worried about naps... baby napped in the car seat on the go just fine, in the stroller while shopping etc... if she was home, baby napped in her crib.  Honestly, I think that would be less restrictive than having a crib-only napper like me   I had to be home for a 2 hr AM and 2 hr PM nap for a few months