Ready to transition to a 3.5-4 hr EASY -- yes for sleep, not for eating

[ajowen]

Hi,
  So I think my 3 month old might be ready to transition to a longer A in the EASY routine - or at least go longer between sleeps but she doesn't seem quite ready to do that in terms of eating.  She's hard to put down especially in the mornings. Not fussy - just happy, awake, and looking around.  If I offer her the chance to eat at 3 hrs she'll take it.

E - 5:30a (slow eater - not distracted, just slow, eats for 30 min+ most times, sometimes as long as 45 min if it's first feed of the morning or its been a while)
A- til about 6:30
S - 6:30-8:30
E - 8:30-9:15
A - til about 11 (If I try to put her down around 10, happy, smiley, chatty in crib. by herself or with me, first yawns around 11 but so hungry she won't sleep then)
E - 11:00-11:30
A - briefly - 20 min at most?
S - 12 -2:30
E - 2:30-3
A 3-4:30
E 4:30-5
S 5-6 sometimes. Sometimes we can spend this whole time period putting her back down. Not happy like in the AM though, fussy. If the nap happens, she'll eat/play/eat/eat sleep around 9.  if the nap doesn't happen we end up eating/cuddling/eating and she goes down earlier around 8. 

Either way, we have no trouble with night wakings.  She sleeps reliably from 8 or 9 to 4-5:30 am.  5:30-6ish is when our household gets going anyway, so that isn't a concern for us. If she hasn't eaten well (long enough, often enough) in the evening she'll wake at 1:30 and eat -- for close to an hour -- and then go back to sleep. 

Tips?  Is there a good way to manage the routine given that she seems ready to be awake longer but not really ready to space out feedings? I find myself feeding her to sleep more often because she's really hungry at the 3 hr mark and by the time we finish the feed she's ready to sleep. But she's not really ready to sleep if I try to put her down earlier.

[Ima shel Alon]

Hi and welcome!

but she doesn't seem quite ready to do that in terms of eating.  She's hard to put down especially in the mornings. Not fussy - just happy, awake, and looking around.

It does sound like she is ready for more A time and it's quite common that they can't space the feeds yet.

E - 8:30-9:15
A - til about 11

So this is a very very long A time for her age. At 3m you are looking at around 2h A time (on the high side), some would do less but 3.5h would defo be too much (it's more appropriate to a 7m old). So I would work on shortening that. I know that you tried to put her down at 10, she was probably Ut then and refused the nap, but then you could have tried 30min later and it might have worked. I believe she gave you you a good nap after that A because she was shattered.

S 5-6 sometimes. Sometimes we can spend this whole time period putting her back down. Not happy like in the AM though, fussy. If the nap happens, she'll eat/play/eat/eat sleep around 9.  if the nap doesn't happen we end up eating/cuddling/eating and she goes down earlier around 8. 

Your second nap should be more around 2h after her first nap has finished. How long are you trying for to put her down? I think what happens is you either try to put her too early and then she doesn't fall asleep because she is Ut or you miss the window and she can't fall asleep because she is OT.
To find out what is her right A time I would offer for now 1:45h and insist on that for a few days. If you need to AP the naps then do that, we are just in a stage to figure out her A time and making her sleep more during the day - it's not normal for a 3m old to have 2 naps. After you stick to the 1:45h we can have a look at the naps you get if they are OT or Ut and decide if we are staying with that A time or increasing again.
Also re BT, 21 sounds a bit late for me as BT. I mean, it does look like now she is is only awake for a feed at 5:30 and then goes down till 8:30 which would be ok, but then the 5:30 needs to be treated as a NW. A baby needs 11-12h at night so 8.5h sleep is really not enough for her.

I find myself feeding her to sleep more often because she's really hungry at the 3 hr mark and by the time we finish the feed she's ready to sleep. But she's not really ready to sleep if I try to put her down earlier.

I don't quite see this in your EASY. Sorry, I don't mean to sound unhelpful, I am just trying to understand, maybe I missed something somewhere. It's totally ok when a baby is ready for more A time but needs to feed every 3h to either give the feed in the middle of A time or to give a top up before bed. If you are afraid that she will start associating sleeping with eating then you can have a very short A time after the top up feed, even just a nappy change.