(((hugs))) and welcome to the boards.
OK, from the top.
First of all 4.30-5am is NOT the start of your day. Can you rock her to sleep? Even if she has to come into bed with you (not ideal, but we can break that in a little while when you have a better routine established), it's really important that she DOESN"T get into the habit of starting her day at 4.30am. 4.30am you treat like any other middle-of-the-night feed. How do you settle her to sleep if she wakes at midnight or 2am?
Secondly, her day is WAAAAY too long. Even if she sleeps til 7am, 9pm is too late of a bedtime for her. She needs to be in bed and asleep for the night at 7pm. All these night wakings are from overtiredness. Her day is too long and she's not getting enough daytime sleep.
I think you should try for an 'ideal' EASY something like this.
6.30am (do whatever you have to do to keep her asleep until this time) awake and milk
8am nap - if she wakes less than an hour, do whatever you can to resettle her
9.30am awake and milk
11am nap as above
12.30pm awake and milk
2pm nap as above
3.30pm awake and milk
5pm catnap 30 mins
5.30pm awake - bath, bed routine
6pm last milk
6.30-7pm asleep for the night
If she wakes 30-40 mins after going down for the night, you resettle her, don't get her up. I really think that when she's getting some better daytime sleep, her nights will improve. Ifyou can't resettle a short nap, cut her A time down by 15 mins or so.