7 Week old won't nap past 20 mins - but no jolt!

[d.maria]

Hello,

Having posted previously about how my 7 week old daughter won't go to sleep in the daytime, we have made some small progress in that some of the time (15-25%) she can now send herself to sleep and the rest of the time I can coax her there with ShushPat...HOWEVER now another problem has arisen...she cannot get past that 20 minute mark into a deep sleep, whereas previously she could easily transition and would sleep for 1.5-2hours she now can't at all (she does at night). She is swaddled and has a blanket firmly around her and I have tried with the advice about staying with her with my hand on her until the transition to hold her down during the 'jolt' - but the problem is she doesn't actually jolt at that point (she gets through the jolts before that phase with no issue)!

I can see her going from one sleep phase to the other and just as she's getting there she wakes up and starts crying then screaming and it is virtually impossible to put her back to sleep, even with S-P. She will loll off and then as soon as I stop S-P she will sleep for 5 mins and then just cries and cries again until it's time to feed again. I have tried giving her a dummy to see if that helps, but it comes out so frequently (by accident, I don't think she realises she needs to suck to keep it in) that I end up having to stand there putting it back in every couple of minutes (So I'm thinking I will have to stop using it for sleeping).

I just don't know what to do now - I'm so annoyed at having partially solved one issue only for another to arise and we are in a continuous cycle of eat, get to her sleep for 20-40mins, sleep for 20 mins, cry for over an hour, eat...I spend half my day getting her to sleep or crying with her and I just can't work out why she is waking up crying (which escalates into inconsolable screaming within a minute).

I really don't want to but I'm so close to just giving up the whole EASY thing as it just seems I've spent the last 7 weeks cooped up at home trying to get her to sleep with no real progress...help! 

[*Becky*]

At this age I would be going out hun, she is still so young and sleep will come, it will. At 7/8 weeks I tired to focus on 1 nap in the cot and for the other naps we would go out and about. You have to strike a balance or like you say you will be stuck in feeling frustrated and fed up.

Could you post her EASY for us to take a look....does she have any reflux? Is she eating ok?

[d.maria]

Hello,

Thanks for getting back to me...

The thing is even if I go out she will not sleep in the pram... It's the same thing. I've had to resort to letting her sleep on me a few times now as it seems the only way to get her to stay asleep - this morning it was 20mins sleep, cry, settle her and repeat... She IS tired but just can't get past that 20 mins (no matter where she is)...

She has been prescribed some gaviscon for reflux which I started today, but I'm not sure if that's the issue or not as she's generally fine on her back when we are in activity mode...and this was only given due to her starting to fuss at feed times over the weekend (first time it's happened) - but the nap issue has been going for weeks. Eating is fine ( except that minor setback) - putting on weight etc

EASY is pretty by the book to be honest:

E 7am
A 725 ish - activity never anything stimulating, just mat time, maybe sitting with me etc - 7.50/8am when she normally yawns and I start wind down
S 815ish (sometimes earlier) - but then this is broken as per above
 
E 10am
A 1025 - 1055ish - as above
S 1015 ish as above

E 1pm
A as above
S as above

E 4pm
A as above
S as above

E 6pm
A 630pm - 7pm ish - bath, read (I don't top up her feed at 7pm, should I?)
S normally between 715-30

E 8pm (will drop this next week - 8 weeks)
S straight down no probs

E 10.30pm dream feed

Will sleep to 2-3am ish - used to be more consistent at waiting until around 4am, but this seems to have regressed...last few days has then woken at 4.30ish then 5.30ish and difficult to settle...not hungry I don't think...

I just can't get my head around why she won't nap, i catch thr first yawn and she is tired but struggles so much. On Saturday we were out in the car a lot so she had a lot if nap time and slept from dream feed through to 5am!!

Sooooo confused with the whole thing...

[*Becky*]

how is she in the sling? DD never took to the pram but she liked the sling.

I am wondering about reflux now because you say she sleeps well in the car - reflux babies like sleeping in car seats as they are upright so don't cause pain.

Tbh it is quite normal for her to be struggling (if there is no reflux involved) - lo's have to learn how to sleep, for some that comes easier than others.

Do you have a dark room/white noise?

How are her feeds? Is she taking a good amount?

As far as the routine goes I would keep the day to 12 hours max, particularly if her naps are short so if she is up at 7am, BT at 7pm and I would also shorten her A a little if she short naps i.e. if her first nap is short and you cannot resettle then I would take about 30 mins off the next A time to try and prevent OT.

And I know I have said it before but I would make sure at least one nap is out and about whether it is car, sling whatever so you get a break - that is important too!

[mrsfabmoretti]

Hiya,

My LO is nearly 5 weeks old and we've been having the problem. She used to sleep for 2 hours between each feed and would settle really well in her cot for naps- sometimes with shush/pat, sometimes self settling. I thought I'd struck jackpot!! She'd also go straight down to bed at 7pm and self settle.

However, the past week, it's gotten increasingly difficult. She'll wake up after 10-20 mins and then won't go back to sleep and will scream. I don't have time to HTTJ as have a three year old, so have to APOP for the rest of the nap- argh! I have been wondering about reflux, as she is sick A LOT and sometimes seems to scream in pain. How did you know with your LO?

It's been stressing me out a little bit too- you just want so badly for them to sleep well. But I'm keeping perspective and just trying one nap a day, like Becky said, then letting her nap whilst out in the car and pram. Sometimes putting her in the bouncy chair with the extractor fan works! Does your car seat click on your pram chassis? Might be worth a try.

This is my second LO. With LO1, I really stressed myself out with naps and got a bit obsessive. I felt like a complete failure when he had short naps and would spend my entire day trying to get him to self settle. Looking back, I really didn't enjoy the baby stage and I think this was a big factor, so trying to be really careful not to get like that again. Be kind to yourself. x

[Layla]

Yes to what others have said! With dd1 I was quiet obsessed with sleep but I didn't start any sort of sleep training until she was 9 weeks or so. With dd2, I carried her around or rocked her (or used whatever other method was available) to help her sleep and 7 years later with dd3, I am most relaxed and went with the flow (and still do). I concentrated on 1 nap in the cot (consistently from 6 weeks) and tried shh/pat to extend the 1 nap and the rest if I couldn't extend within a certain time, I would pick her up and go on with our day.

Naps will come and some don't get a set "routine" until 3/4 months or even later. Our EASY looks like EASAEAS some days and my LO has been able to sleep longer for her morning nap recently and the rest of the naps are shorter catnaps. She puts herself to sleep on her own for all naps and at night and having the catnap in the carrier hasn't ruined that.

Things were really unpredictable in the beginning and I fed mine when she seemed hungry (on demand) and tried to soothe her when she seemed tired. I used the baby Bjorn ALOT in the beginning and changed that recently to the Manduca carrier, which is better on my back. I still wear her for her last catnap in the carrier....I miss the days she used to fall asleep on me..she doesn't do it anymore Lol.

5/6 weeks can be extremely tricky and we had lots of evening fussiness and coming on and off the breast in the evening. The fussiness tends to peak around this time and it can be quiet tiring! I would not hesitate
helping her sleep if you have to use other methods than shh/pat at this young age.

I am a strong believer in that babies can't be spoilt in the first 3/4 months 

HTH