Oh, ugh. Laid Spirited DD down UT and it is all going to pot..

[nevinsmama]

She doesn't do UT BT's really. And once she starts it is like she just can't quit. She is screaming BLOODY murder in there ( I am talking to her through the monitor). This can go on for hours, even if I bring her out into the dim living room and settle her down, then act normal ( as if I am fully expecting her to go right out  ) I lay on the bed at talk to her, do WIWO, it just goes all up in smoke and she screams and chokes and it is just awful. DH is here so I a keeping a cool head but what do you do when this sort of thing happens?

She had a 2 hour nap after a weekend of out and about and OT-getting-back-late naps and no doubt it was some catch up, so when I laid her down she had only had a 4hr40A and think I should have kept her up to have closer to a 5.5 hour A. Any survival tips here? I keep her out of the room about 5-10 minutes until she has quite settled as she goes really hysterical and then go again but maybe less time out of the room might help? It is like it takes her 3 hours of this to back to normal   All very ugh.

[Kirsten~]

I don't have any tips, but if you don't mind, I'd like to piggyback on this one. My spirited DD and yours might be distance sisters! She is very much the same way. I tend to err on the side of OT with her since she does not seem to be very OT sensitive, but she is extremely UT sensitive. Like yours, we have screaming and screaming. I think WIWO makes her scream more, TBH. I think seeing me or DH just makes her more mad that no one is "rescuing" her, but it's always awful.
Hope someone has some advice!

[nevinsmama]

WElcome to follow along! I think they could be related too! When we were out SUnday she had a 40 minute nap when we got back and when I laid her down, she babbled happily ( giddly) when I laid her down and then slept 12 hours with a quick drink wake up 3 hours in as usual. Sheesh...  ((HUGS!)) for you on all the screaming, it can get a bit intense! She finally passed out last night after DH gave her a quick cuddle in the living room and then I took her back and laid her down for probably the 6th time! He sleeps in the room with her and cares for her in the morning, maybe she just wanted him? So hard to know with these Spirited girls!

[Buttonbobs]

Hugs ladies, my DD was never very spirited but she seems much more so nowadays - possibly a toddler thing. I find she is like this with UT BT too. This is becoming tricky for us as once I've committed to taking her to bed I don't really want to bring her back downstairs and "give in" to her protestations iyswim.

Maryn - Were you able to tell in advance she was likely to protest due to OT, or was it only when you tried to put her down?

My only suggestion would be if you are able to tell, then you may have to go with the flow and allow a later BT on that occasion. If she copes well with OT then she should be able to adjust over the following few days. And then, be strict about waking her from naps if you need to. (I am personally rubbish at this as I can't bear to wake DD).

If you can't tell until you get started on your BT routine that it is too early for her, then I would say you probably need to do what you are doing to help calm her and ready her for sleep again. I know that's not much help, but it sounds to me that you are responding to her spirited needs in that instant.

[cath~]

Ugh - I know those UT BTs too well

For us, we found the best solution was to keep nap short/usual length and then do EBT if we thought she needed to catch up.  Letting her nap longer always backfired as she was UT at BT from the nap, even if still OT overall IYSWIM.

When she got really wound up if I put her down too early then sometimes singing outside her door would help.  Sometimes.

Now she's older she doesn't get mad if I put her down UT, we just get LOTS of callbacks, although she's better able to amuse herself for a bit until she's tired too (but depends on her mood).

[nevinsmama]

Thank you Mamas, I will be back to respond individually as I think you have some great ideas here that could help us. I also wonder if her spirited self needs her big sleeps at night and a more moderate day sleep. Do I remember that from a SPirited thread somewhere, I am thinking Tinkerbell mentioned this? I am sorry I haven't been back to this to respond to all of you who took the time to help, it has been a few crazy days around here.

[cath~]

L is spirited and we def found she did better with (v) short nap (as she got older) to keep nights as long as poss. (Until she dropped nap at 2yrs 6mos).

I know other spiriteds who prefer to keep longer nap though so doesn't work for all!

[*Becky*]

H is touchy/spirited and he was the same....did a great night sleep and better to have a shorter nap.