Author Topic: 23yo Massive Sleep regression  (Read 1074 times)

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Offline wiolqn

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23yo Massive Sleep regression
« on: September 25, 2013, 22:17:33 pm »
Hello everyone. You've been great help to us in the past so I hope you could help me to find a solution to our current problem.
At the mo we have huge (and I really mean HUGE) sleep regression. LO used to be (yes, it's the "Used to be" time for us) an independent sleeper. I did WI/WO until he was able to fall asleep all by himself. At least at night. During the day I had to stay close or he wouldn't stay in the crib.
Suddenly everything changed. Maybe few facts first:
- this little man hates sleeping. From the start putting him to bed was a struggle. When he was little he had 15-30 min naps during the day. He's a preemie, and at night he would wake up often because of the gases or noises or teething (he has terrible time teething). Often he would wake up anytime between midnight and 4am and wouldn't go back to sleep for up to 2hrs. Once he transitioned himself to one nap, and after some routine tweaking, he settled into the following pattern:
WU 6-7am
Nap 11,30-12 (anything from 1,5 up to 4hrs, but usually it's about 2hrs)
BT 7,30-8
He would still wake up at night, always around 2-4am, until I discovered it was too much fiber in his dinner. Once I changed his dinner, and if he wasn't teething, he managed to sleep through the night.
Two weeks ago everything changed. He pushed his nap to 2pm. Without any warning. One day he's happy (well as happy about going to bed as he can be) to nap at 11,30, next day he won't settle until 2,15pm. Nothing has changed in his life. No illness. I know his lower canines are coming out but they've been doing it for ages so I can't really blame them. On one day he refused to have a nap altogether. Yesterday it was the same situation. At 3pm I decided to let him be and wanted to do earlier BT. However he fell asleep in his feeding chair with his mouth full of pancake at 4,15pm.
I thought that maybe it's time to get him out of the crib and this was his way to fight the crib and the bars so I removed the sidebar (he has a crib that can be changed into a grownup bed when sidebars removed). I got him involved in doing so so he would feel in control. Didn't help. It was even worse as climbing out of the bed got extremely easy now. When asked about it he didn't want the sidebars to be put back (well, obviously) so I let it be.
What's more he doesn't want to fall asleep independently anymore. I have to stay in his room all the time. Wi/Wo just seems to aggravate the crying and even that we start our routine at 7pm he won't fall asleep until 9-9,30pm. Like he's having another separation anxiety. Sometimes he asks to go to my room and lay down on our bad (I try to ignore those pleas) or just climbs onto my laps and doesn't want to be moved.
Now, when he was NW and coming to our room I always walked him back to his room and repeated it until he fell asleep. Often it would take us up to 2hrs with him being OT and crying at the end of it. I was very consistent for weeks but nothing changed. So, on the nights when I was really exhausted I just let him sleep with us. He would fall asleep within seconds.
I really don't know how to move from there. I don't want to AP (which I feel I'm doing). I don't think he's ready to ditch the nap yet (I'm not that for sure). But having it at 2 (or not at all) completely disrupts our day.
Any ideas what we can do?

Offline *Becky*

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Re: 23yo Massive Sleep regression
« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2013, 12:49:59 pm »
Hi there,
Sounds like a rough time! 2 is a very common time for a sleep regression, we went through it with DS and it mainly resulted in nap refusals.
Could you post your last 2 days for me just so I can see what has been happening (put in night wakings too please)
Just to clarify - is he putting himself to sleep atm? If not how are you getting him to sleep and is he coming into your bed every night now?
Have you tried pain meds for the teeth?

If it were me I would put the bars back on the cot. He is also old enough for a Gro-Clock or similar so that he can understand when it is morning time and time to get up and when he needs to go back to sleep.




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Offline wiolqn

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Re: 23yo Massive Sleep regression
« Reply #2 on: September 30, 2013, 19:23:40 pm »
Hi Becky, Thank you for your reply.
I have to say it's getting better. the last 2 days were better. At least the naps. He doesn't fight so much and he sleeps longer. But BT still causes us some troubles. the last few days looked like this:

Friday
WU 6:05
N 1:45 (2,5hrs)
BT 8:55
No NW

Saturday
WU 6:24
N 1:05 (1h8mins)
BT 8:20
NW: 2:10-2:50

Sunday
WU 7:40
N 12:25 (25mins)
BT 7:35
NW 0:10-0:30 (he was thirsty)
NW2 5:20-5:30 (slept with us)

Monday
WU 6:40
N 12:50 (2h51mins)
BT 8:30

I'm trying GW as there is no chance for WI/WO. The minute I turn my back he hops off the bed. Even with the bars on he had two bars taken out for months so he was able to hop on and off the bed. I think putting them back will aggravate the situation. it looks like he's afraid of me leaving, so additional barrier between us would be worse.
As I said naps are better. We go to his room, put the blinds, read few books and go to bed. He lies in and I tell him a story about anything that goes to sleep (tractor, chicken, you name it). He listen to it, cries a little and goes to sleep. There is no such thing as falling asleep peacefully. He always cries. specially at BT.

In the evening we start our routine 6.30-7pm. Dinner and milk, bath, PJ, brushing teeth, stories on the rocking chair. then we put the blinds on, turn off the lights so he can see the stars, we say goodnight to the moon and stars (fluorescent ones on his ceiling and real ones outside if visible) and I put him to bed. and it starts. At first he's still OK but doesn't really want to lay down. He would start showing something repeating "there, there, there" He won't stop until I name the thing he's pointing at (guys, always so lazy. just name the thing yourself little man). He's just starting to say words so I can't really not reply to that. I just sit next to his bed on a chair. If he tries to get off the bed I intervene and lay him back down saying "it's sleepy time now" and I retreat to my chair. At which point he starts crying.  We repeat the sequence several times with him getting more tired and cranky. He starts crying saying "mamamamama" with this sad desperation in his voice breaking my heart. But I just lay him down saying calmly "it's OK sweety, I'm right here if you need me, Mummy's right here". He grabs my t-shirt crying his "mamamama" not wanting me to go. The worst crying is just before he falls asleep. As if he feels the sleep is coming and he tries to fight it with all his might. If he'd just let go I'm sure he would fall asleep instantly. So the trick is to get him to stop crying. Before, it was enough to say: "shhhh have you heard that? the tractor just passed by. I f we are really quiet we may hear it coming back". It worked for months. But not anymore.  When crying is getting really bad I ask: "do you want me to hold your hand or should I put my hand on your tummy?". He always picks the tummy and stop crying. But that brings me back from my chair to his bedside. He looks like falling asleep but 20s later he gets up crying and we repeat it again. Until he finally falls asleep. I try to leave the room for the last few minutes so he falls asleep without my presence there, coming back only when he cries.

He sleeps better at night. Last week he only NW 2 or 3 times. Most of the time he comes to our room. Basically he wakes up and with his eyes still closed he starts walking (and always finding way, amazing) and crying. Sometimes I'm able to put him back to sleep in his bed, only when he's not fully awake. Otherwise he ends up with us where he falls asleep immediately.

I got him Gro-clock back in March. He loves to play with it, he's the one to operate the buttons to put the sun to sleep etc. But when he wakes up he couldn't care less about it. As I said with his eyes closed it would be difficult. I have no idea how to get him to respect the clock.

He gets pain meds and teething gel. But it makes no difference to the way he falls asleep.

During the day we often play in his room and he would lay on the bed to play with his soft toys or cars. At that moment it's a funny place for him. But as soon as he has to sleep in there the problem starts.

I will be grateful for any ideas