All gone a bit wrong since starting nursery - 12 mth old

[K-JDA]

Hi all

Am hoping for some advice as it's all gone a bit wrong since DS started nursery at 11 months. He is now 12.5 months. Sorry if this is a long one!

Prior to starting nursery and after some fab advice on the other sleep boards our schedule was roughly:

WU 6.15
Nap 10.15-11.45
Nap 3.30-4.15
Bed 7.15
Had just about kicked the early morning night feed, sometimes taking a small bottle (2-3oz watered down) at about 4.30/5am - had been a bit soft on fully stopping this due to fears of the dreaded EW which I experienced when he was in the 3-2. Given his am nap was the strongest I was slowly pushing it out when I felt he was ready and some days shortening the pm nap as necessary. All good.

At 10 taster days, scattered through August, for nursery DS slept there as above and it was great.

Then 6 weeks ago he started mon, thurs, Friday all day and Tuesday, Wednesday mornings at nursery and those 2 afternoons with grandparents. He had a really tough time settling in, lots of tears/SA but this has gradually gotten better and he is well settled now and enjoys it. It is pretty stimulating tho and am sure he has been/can sometime still be OS after a full day there.

In terms of sleep it has not been so great with no real signs of improvement.

He will mainly only nap for 40/50 mins at a time so on his full days at nursery he is only doing 2 x 45 mins , something like:

WU 6.15 (after one to many NWs and early am feed now fully back to help him settle due to OT)
Nap 10.45/11 - 45 mins
Nap 3ish - 45 mins (yesterday did an hour)
Bed 7

I have confirmed he is falling asleep there by himself although some days has resisted for some time hence the late time of the PM nap and a couple of days has refused the 2nd nap entirely! Am using EBT where possible but we don't get in til near 6 so best we can do is just after 6.30 and he has never really tacked on.

On Tues/Wed my mum has generally got him to take a long nap 2-3.30ish after am nap as above.

On the weekends he has generally ended up having a short 1st A as so tired and done the following:

WU 6.15
Nap 9.45-11.15
Nap 3.15-4
Bed 7

This weekend on Sunday he only short napped in the AM so gave him long pm nap which worked fine.

He has recently undergone a mega growth spurt and was up taking 2 full feeds in the night - this lasted about a week and he is back to an early am feed at 4.30/5. Am in the process of trying to cut this down again now the growth spurt has abated and am offering supper.

His feeding schedule is roughly:

4.30/5am - 2 scoops milk in 4oz water
6.20 - 5oz milk (cows)
8am - breakfast at nursery (cereal)
10am - snack (if awake)
12 - lunch (pasta, fish and potatoes/veg etc and pudding/fruit/yoghurt etc)
2 - snack (if awake)
4 - dinner (more like 4.30 if home/grandparents) (as lunch)
5.45 - supper (toast or crackers/fruit)
6.30 - 5oz milk (cows)

Some days he has been so hungry at nursery he has had 2 lunch or dinners! Honestly he was a rubbish eater before he started cruising round the furniture but is now on the move from dusk til dawn and constantly hungry! He is on movicol for constipation so need to reduce his dairy still a bit more to make sure this doesn't add to the problem so need to stop the NF.

His NWs are mainly after midnight - at their worst have lasted an hour although more recently much briefer. Some at the start of nursery were sickness related as he picked up bugs. At the weekend I am pretty sure he was teething (molars) as drooling/clingy and up loads even when medicated. Last night just 5 mins at 2.30 and then again at 4.30 when gave meds/watered down bottle and slept til 6.30.

I would value your opinion - do you think I need to change his weekends to mirror tues/weds so he at least has 4 days roughly the same? I.e.
WU 6.15
Nap 10.15-11
Nap 2-3.30
Bed 7

Am at a loss for the other days - should I ask them to try set naps at this time also? What if he short naps at 2 and then can't do EBT?

I would love to stop the NF as the multiple NWs are getting the better of me when got a full-time job. Am terrified of EWs tho! Am off sick today as am just so tired I need to catch up as struggling with my own sleep issues due to worrying about DS sleep.

So grateful for your views as ever - sorry this is so long but had to get it off my chest!!

[lily_layne]

I think our LOs must be twins!!!  I'm going through exactly the same thing right now, right down to the bugs, molars, and huge appetite!  I have no advice because I'm just as lost as you are in all of this but I will offer ((((hugs)))) and promise to share if I find a routine that works.  For now, I've just been letting her catch up on sleep on weekends and doing EBT when possible but I'm not sure if my lack of consistency is helping

[oneplusone]

It took my LO 3-4 months to settle down after starting daycare. He was a great sleeper but as soon as I went back to work and he went to daycare. He started waking 1-2 times per night. He had been on 2 naps and was forced into 1 nap for their schedule. No real advice just hang in there! They do adapt... Eventually.

[K-JDA]

Thanks guys for the words of support - speaking to colleagues at work and nursery they have reported that it does take time but they settle down eventually so fingers crossed. At least he is an independent sleeper so I keep telling myself we will get there eventually!

Lily_layne - I saw your thread and will tag along to it in the hope you get somewhere! Bigs hugs to you too!

Any thoughts on this night feed business - is it worth the battle right now or should I stick with it as a means of proving comfort and getting some extra early morning sleep and look to sort once things settle down or am I making things harder by keeping it?

DS was only up once last night at 4.10am - tried to give a reduced feed of 2oz but wouldn't settle/was crying in a weird high pitched cry so gave meds and another 2oz and he settled by 4.40 til 6.55 so overall nearly 11.5hrs sleep which is good as he is an 11hr night boy.

[K-JDA]

Hi guys

Would welcome any thoughts as per above on how best to approach this last night feed and whether to go with short am/long PM nap at weekends so at least 4 days are the same routine.

Thanks!!

[Joy-filled]

Hello!  Just thought I'd pop on to give some input - I'm not an expert but I think you should try to drop the NFs.  Otherwise I think there will never be a "good time" and I'm guessing it's making things harder and will continue to make it harder for longer than if you stop them.  It will be super messy short term but will pay off long term.  I'm not sure what the best option is for your naps, though  .

[K-JDA]

Thanks so much. You're right I need to end the NF - just needed someone else to tell me! Any thoughts as to which option might be best at this age? Cold turkey or water down or reduce size? Am scared of the messiness which will ensue in terms of OT but you're right that it is best for the long term. Any btdt advice would be fab.

[Joy-filled]

Sorry, I super lucked out with our NF.  I  would wake him up and feed him if he hadn't woken by 5:00 otherwise I knew he wouldn't fall back asleep.  But then one night he'd had a HUGE supper so I decided to just let him sleep and see what would happen and he didn't need the NF that night and we never looked back.  If I were you I'd cold turkey it.  2 oz is barely anything so it's not like those calories are getting him to sleep longer anyway.  I think it's just a habit thing and watering it down won't make a difference.  And if I were you I'd try to make supper a higher calorie meal.  That's what we did and that way I felt more confident that he wasn't waking up at night out of hunger.  Proteins tend to take longer to digest so I make supper a big protein meal with lots of beans, avocado, and a few veggies.  I focus on veggies/fruit earlier in the day rather than at supper since veggies/fruit are lower calorie and just fill his tummy up but not his calorie needs.  I also offer water all day so that he doesn't wake up at night thirsty.  It works great for us.  Might be worth a try?