Signs of dropping the nap altogether?

[rachsk8]

Hi everyone

My LO is 2 next week and for the past week and a bit has been refusing ALL naps - and even taking a LONG time to go to sleep in the car.  We just went out of town and it took him over an hour to go to sleep in the car at what was his 'usual' nap-time (1-1.30pm).

He did nap last Monday for about 2.5hrs, but since then, nada.

Yesterday (after a HORID OT evening/night sleep) he went out in the car on our way home (took him about 30mins) and he slept for an hour then awake again.

He has been having some dreadful meltdowns at about 6pm, and last few nights some very restless nights with lots of crying/complaining when I resettle him.  I have been putting him to bed at 6.30 on NND's - previously if he'd had a good long nap his BT was 7.30-8pm and he would wake about 6am the next day.  Now he is waking several times in the night - wanting to get up at 6am, but if I persist he will "generally" go back down until 7 or a little after.  (Has done a couple of 8am's last week too which was good).

Any ideas on what this could be and what I can do to minimize the awful OT meltdowns when he gets utterly beside himself of an evening?

I wonder if he is one of those kids who will drop his nap 'too early'... he has never really been much of a napper... in saying that, for the past 6 months he has gone thru a couple of periods of nap refusal but it's only lasted a week or two each time.  Given that he is getting close-ish to 12hrs overnight now, am I expecting too much for him to nap as well?

Quiet time is barely quiet if it's in his room he just climbs all over his bed etc.  The quiestest I can get him is when he's sat in from of the tv (I hate hate hate it, but he takes after his dad I think!!!!)

Could this be develpomental, or a 2yr sleep regression??

Any comments welcomed!!  xx

[creations]

Have you tried a later nap instead? Mine was doing 2 - 4pm and 8pm BT for quite a while although the morning is long and the afternoon short he still went down ok at BT.  You might also try a much later CN in the car perhaps? say 3 or 4pm but just a micro nap for 10 mins. Mine went from napping 2hrs per day down to 1hr 45 ish and 1hr 30 to zero over night, what a surprise I had!  It was about 3 weeks back he had his last proper nap, since then he has a 10 mins micro nap in the car any time of the day (could be 11.30 could be 3.30 he doesn't seem to mind when) several times per week but not every day.  And a much earlier BT.
If there's no chance of a nap or micro nap at all then I'd say you need to get him down earlier at BT. 6.30pm on a NND might be fine for several days and then suddenly not fine. I've done as early as 5.30pm before now, wrecks dinner time but helps with the OT so I say it's worth it.
Oh, and mine zombies out in front of the TV too. I have no problem with it myself, he is otherwise active, inquisitive and playful so I have no problem him using the TV as a chill out time, besides mine learns heaps from kids TV which I never expected (I always believed they could only learn from playing and being with real people not TV characters).

[rachsk8]

Thank you for your reply.  Yes, I know what you mean that 6.30pm might be ok for a day or two and then not ok the next!!  This is a very difficult stage.  :-( 

In saying that, we had a nap today, of about 1.5hrs!!  So back to a more 'normal' bedtime and much happier boy and went to sleep with much less of a fuss.

It's very hard when they won't nap but really NEED to nap!!!

Thank you for your comments about the TV.  I think I need to relax a little about it and realise that it might be what is required at the moment sometimes to get through this difficult phase.....

[creations]

I think you'd be surprised how many people use the TV or DVDs as a chill out time for their LOs.  If you decide what you are happy with at the outset then perhaps that would help?  I wouldn't have mine watch random day time TV intended for adults but the kids channel here has educational prog after educational prog all day and I record the ones he is really into at the time so he can watch them over and over.  if you want less TV maybe try a book with audio CD so he can just look at the pictures and turn the pages but listen to the story?  Mine likes these after I've read the story several times previously, then he will accept the CD version and I can make lunch or get a cuppa!  They can be hard to entertain when they have the OT grouch.

WRT naps, sigh, it's just hard to know isn't it? Mine was refusing a while back then went straight back in to a nap every day, decent length one too and that continued another few months.  I think now we are unlikely to go back to napping every day properly (unless he chooses to nap on pre-school days when he starts there but it seems unlikely).  I know of people whose LO dropped the nap totally at 2yo and others who nap for another year or more.  it's so individual.  Yours might go well with one catch up nap every 7 - 10 days or so if he is refusing most days.  It's a bit of a guessing game really.

Mine is down and fast asleep at 6.15 tonight, doing 12hr nights but some nights the OT NWs in the first few hours of sleep.

Hope you manage to hold off the OT

[rachsk8]

Thanks for your comments.... I am finding myself using the TV at that tricky time where I am getting dinner cooked and LO (who has had just one nap in teh past 2 weeks, other than a couple when out in the car...) is getting past it and needs just to zone out for a while!

Looks more and more like we have dropped the nap, even though we are not getting through to bedtime without a meltdown of fairly epic proportions much of the time, and several NW's, especially early on.  Anyone care to share how long this 'transition' period might take??!!  I am looking forward to the day LO can actually COPE without a nap.... and not loose the plot from OT!!  Joys!!!!!!

It seems LO manages an average of about a 11.5-12hr sleep overnight.  Have tried going with an earlier BT but he doesnt seem to tack on, still wakes at that 11.5-12hr point in the morning.  Any ideas/tips/comments on this gratefully received as always!!

[rachsk8]

Actually, one more question now that I am back from the 3rd resettle of the night.... and it's only 10pm!!! 

If we manage a car-nap every few days (as it seems thats the only way it will happen these days....) of a reasonable length, do I move BT back to what it used to be, when we were having good afternoon naps?  Or do I still with a new EBT, or somewhere in between?  OR, do I cap the car-nap at 30-45mins and stick to an earlier BT?

My LO doesn't do OT well.  :-(

[creations]

Have you tried putting him down for a nap at home recently?  I know we had a phase of it looking like nap dropping but after a while he went back to taking proper naps every day.  I'm not suggesting every day but maybe just try once in a while see if he wants a catch up nap?

WRT night lengthening, mine had to do it in stages, so although I did a few EBTs the regular BT moved earlier in stages, whilst also watching when his morning WU was.  I stuck with a set BT regardless of any car naps or catch ups because really that extra sleep is to hold of the OT rather than replace night sleep, of course if you get a very long nap then BT might be more tricky but if you hold it at the same time he knows when to expect it. (when I say set BT of course it has moved earlier in stages so is not totally set but it is not based on napping or day length).
You might find for example if you do EBT (to avoid the melt down) get a 12hr night so an earlier than normal WU you might be able to fit in a nap in the day and still have regular set BT that evening.
hope that makes sense.