just turned 1 - schedule very wonky! NW + naps :(

[julesiew78]

Hello, my little guy has never been a great sleeper. We embarked on BW (mainly PUPD) when my guy was about 8 mos old and had great success. Then he got a bad stomach bug, and several teeth, and colds, and travel, and I feel it's all gone downhill since then. I think he's STTN maybe 2x in his life. I have two other children and am exhausted. He used to have a pretty decent routine, but now it's all gone to hell. I think he is cutting 2 teeth and trying to learn how to walk. He is cruising along the furniture and pulling up to a stand constantly.

I don't even know where to start. He usually has 2-3 NW's (bf'd both times - I find it really difficult to follow through with PUPD in the MOTN ) - and his wake ups for the day are anywhere from 6-7:45am. His A times are usually about 2:45 in the morning before his am nap, and 2:45-3:15 before his pm nap. And then usually about 4hr from wake up of pm nap til BT.

I realize his A times are pretty short, but he can't seem to handle much more (due to his NW?) and I've got to pick up and drop off my kids from their schools. The times I have to be in the car with him are: 8:20-9:20 (he gets a 15 min break from 8:30-8:45 to crawl around at school 1), 11:20-11:45, and 3:20-3:50. So he has to nap around those times.

He had been doing 2 naps from 9:45 - 11:15 (I'd wake him to pick up my other child), and then 2-3:10 (again waking him to pick up my other child) - but he has since abandoned this and will sometimes only do a 20-30min nap during one of the naps, and it throws everything else off.

Help?

[Buttonbobs]

Hi there, I think it could be the start of the 2-1 possibly, together with a bit of OT build up and maybe a feed-sleep prop at night.
I think we could try tweaking the day a little bit. Many people would help their LO shorten one nap first  before dropping completely to one nap. Did you shorten the first then the second nap would get slightly earlier and hopefully be the longer nap. You could also aim for a longer first nap and short afternoon CN, but this may not fit in so well around your morning car rides.
Have you read:
From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older)

Let me know what you think.

The other thing is this feeding in the night. I totally understand why you'd feel too tired to sleep train, but I do think this is contributing to his NWs and in the long run, making you more tired. Would you like to work at weaning the night feeds? If so, I can ask some experienced BF mamas to come and help us out here.

Hugsxxx

[julesiew78]

Hi Naomi, thank you so much for responding. Yes, I actually would like to work on night weaning. I think you are right - it is definitely contributing to my fatigue, and I think he is old enough to not need to eat in the MOTN?? I would love for you to illicit some advise from bf'ing mamas! Thank you!!!

I was wondering about the 2-1 transition, too. I will read over that tonight once I get him in bed. I did PuPD with him for over an hour with him this morning (I do believe teething pain was the culprit - once the motrin kicked in he was able to fall asleep), but he slept from 10am - 1pm!!!  I can't believe he took such a long nap. Now, I'm wondering whether to try to CN him around 4pm? just for 30 min?

Thanks so much for your help!

[Buttonbobs]

I would probably go straight for an early BT rather than a CN but that would be because my DD would struggle at BT after a nap at 4ish. If you think he could make it until 6iah for bed then it might be worth trying.

If you want us to look more closely at the sleep please feel free to post a few days of your EASY for us to look at. I'll get some Bf eyes here too if I can xx

[anna*]

Totally agree with Naomi that you're in the 2-1 and to have one long and one catnap in a day is normal. His A times earlier in the day are really short - he probably needs a good 3.5-4hrs at least to get a decent nap.

With regard to the nights, what do you think is reasonable? YOu can go cold turkey, or you could set an (increasing) amount of time between feeds, or say that you will only feed at 11pm and 5am, and settle with PUPD at all other wakings? Some mums settle without feeding at the first wake up - whether that happens at 9pm or 1am - so that the kid gets the idea that sometimes you go back to sleep without nursing.

[julesiew78]

Hi, Anna!

Oh, I have no idea about what would be the best way to approach things with him in the MOTN? I do get up at 4:45 to teach a fitness class, so would ideally feed before that? he doesn't take a bottle and I don't want to be stressed out thinking that he might wake (having not been fed?) and be hungry for dh. I don't know if I'm making any sense? I'm so tired. Sorry.

So maybe the timed feedings? What is the most effective?

Mentally, I've said I was going to do this before (start night weaning) but then I get so tired in the MOTN that I just feed right away to go back to bed. How to you ladies get the determination to do it?

So today we ended up pushing through, and I put him down at 6:45 (so it was a 5hr45min A time from the wake up of his 3hr long nap!). He settled quickly and went right down. And he's still down (oftentimes he'll wake at the 30min mark and cry from being OT) - so I am ecstatic.

[anna*]

It really doesn't matter - it's only for a few nights, because the goal is to stop night feeds, yes?

[*Ali*]

I did cold turkey for my two at 12.5 and 15mo.

Can your DH just give him solid food for breakfast?  Possibly some ebm in a cup if you like as well? 

[julesiew78]

Ali, how many night feeds were you down to, with your two, when you did cold turkey? How long did it take? were there any regressions?

Anna, yes, the goal is to stop night feeds. How long does it take if you do the gradual process?

[anna*]

You can go as fast or slow as you want to - you could do a couple of nights with one night feed, and then drop it. But you have to drive the process, don't expect him to stop by himself.

[julesiew78]

Ugh, that's what I've been secretly wishing for (him driving the process), lol! You are totally right.

Okay. I can do this! Thank you! 

[anna*]

Would be nice huh. I never had kids who dropped night feeds by themselves either.

[*Ali*]

We only had one feed left when i went cold turkey