Escalating sleep challenges, please help!

[Smiley831]

Brand new member here, I'm so hoping someone may be able to advise.

My beautiful girl is almost 18 months old, and up to about 3 months ago was an amazing sleeper, always consistent with both naps and night time, and other than the usual disruptions of teeth, illness, travel etc we could rely on her routine very well.

Our problems started with early waking, around 4.30 - 5 which we at first just rolled with, then tried a few weeks of very low level PUPD without success. Then I think we really created an issue when we realised she needed more sleep and would happily sleep,longer if we snuggled down with her. For a couple of weeks that was fine, but then she started introducing wonderful new issues. Following the early wakings came waking between midnight and 1am and reusing to stay in her cot and wanting to sleep with mummy, then came refusal to nap in her cot during the day and having to fall asleep on me then be laid on the sofa. Now she won't even go down in her cot at bedtime, our final saving grace!

I am getting desperate, I can't believe it can get any worse but have no idea how to break the cycle. Cc and similar def don't work for us, she simply gets herself more and more worked up to the point of almost vomiting and I'm terrified of doing some proper long term damage.

I should add that she is in the midst of separation anxiety as well. When I try to put her in her cot (which I still attempt every time), she screams, clings to me like her life depends on it and gets very upset immediately, whether she's awake or aslee when I try. However we do have time in her room when we change her, dress her or just play for a few minutes.

Is this simply 18 month regression, all about separation anxiety or are we just in a cycle of habit now? I would be so very grateful for any advice or experience anyone can share.

Thank you very much.

[*Becky*]

Hi there,
Could you post her current routine so we can take a look, including wake up, nap and bedtime.
I do have to point out that CC and CIO are not supported here as Tracy Hogg the original BW'er believed it broke the trust between parent and child. We can help you with more gentle methods.
It sounds like there might be some SA at play and maybe she has got used to you being there to snuggle with her. Once we have seen the routine we can advise.

[Smiley831]

Thanks, I'd very much appreciate help and am also not keen on cc or CIO so very happy with that!

Currently (and with sleeping in bed with me) routine is as follows:

7 awake and up
7.30 milk
Doesn't like breakfast
9 snack of fruit, smoothie or toast
12 lunch
12.30 - 2 or 2.30 nap. This used to be consistently in her cot but now she has to fall asleep on me then I lay her on the sofa
4.30 or 5 tea
6.30 bath and pj's
7 milk
7.30 bed

Bed used to be put her down in her cot awake but ready, she would settle herself (with dummy) within 10 minutes.

Hope that helps.

[*Becky*]

Her routine looks good
I think you need to decide whether you are going to go for WIWO or a more GW approach to sleep training. If it has been 3 months and she is getting very upset then you may be better off with GW which is more gentle, that is probably what I would do in this situation. I can get some eyes on here for you if you want to follow that route as I have only really done WIWO with my two.
Are you familiar with GW?

[Smiley831]

I'm afraid I'm not familiar with it so would love some guidance. Yourcomment about SA is completely true, she's very clingy.

I put her down tonight (tried and failed cot, in our bed) and after a while she was getting upset so I popped up and she immediately crawled over, lay down with her head on my arm and was asleep in seconds. managed to slide her off so I can at least eat!

Would very much appreciate any info you can provide, thank you so much :-)

[*Becky*]

ok, will ask for some help x