Hello!
I just wanted to post a topic here for two reasons: one, to thank everybody who has helped me through (very) difficult periods of short naps, and two, to maybe help anyone who is going through that now.
My LO is 5.5 mo now, and I suffered A LOT when he was 3-4 months with short naps. By short I mean 20 min, 30 tops. The ladies here helped me a lot, offering good advice and the empathy of who has been through the same and knows what I am talking about. I tried a lot of nap extension techniques, and it was really hit and miss; so if you are going through this my advice is:
1. Patience! Your LO won't need you this much forever. Chances are you are going to miss being so important in his life. I know right now you are probably tired and feeling overwhelmed, since you have NO time for yourself, but believe me, it is just a phase.
2. Remember you are not alone. If you have friends who doesn't know what you are talking about, just accept the fact that they are very lucky. Each baby is different from the other, so don't expect who hasn't gone through this to understand you.
3. Try the nap extension techniques (shh/ pat; w2s; APOP...), but don't try too hard. You should try with the goal of understanding your baby's limits and what works for him - while you are trying that, you are getting to know your LO better. But don't push too hard on yourself- extending a nap once a baby is awake is very, very difficult, so if you don't succeed, just move on with your day, and take advantage of these precious moments to play with him.
4. If you can, let someone help you. It is really too much pressure for you to handle alone.
I tried extending naps so hard that I reached a point in which I spent the whole day trying to make my son sleep. When I finally understood I was wasting precious moments in which we both could be happy and playing, I started taking it easier. (it took me countless posts of the ladies from BW telling me to hang in...
) At this point, I was finally able to open to have someone help me - which changes a lot the perspective simply because you have someone else living the same thing with you. But what really helped me was the time - time for my baby to develop, find out his sleep preferences (he likes to sleep on his side, but wasn't able to do so back then!), and adjust. Time for me to get used to the fact that my baby wasn't like my best friend's sleepy babies. Time for me to learn to make my day around the short naps. Time for me to read A LOT about sleep and understand and get convinced that it is OK to help your baby to go back to sleep if it means you are helping him get a decent nap a day. But also to understand there is a limit in trying to help him and knowing when to give up trying and just moving to an activity. And, most of all, time for me to feel confident and experienced enough to be sure of one thing: when he is really tired and in need, he either takes longer naps alone or he easily accepts me to help him extend the nap.
Today his naps are still erratic - can be 30 min, 40 min, or 2,5 hours. I usually manage to get him to do one long nap (>1,5h) either alone or with some help when he wakes up at 30 min. That is why I say - when he is tired, he WILL sleep. But not at 3,5 months, as they are still developing. If you are there, hang in - you will get through.
Once again, thanks to all Nap moderators and BW friends for helping me through it - sometimes I could really feel the warmth of your (((hugs)))
Hope this helps.
