E.A.S.Y. for 3.5 month old - cluster feeding, dream feed, sleeping, etc.

[blueberry7]

Hello,

I have a 3.5 month old and have been trying to put him on a 3 hour E.A.S.Y.  He recently started to sleep through the night (anywhere from 8 to 10 hours) - he wakes up at around 7am and sleeps anywhere from 8:30pm to 10pm (sometimes later if we have a hard time putting him down).  He is bottle-fed expressed breastmilk and he takes in 4 oz at each feed, except for the 1st and last feed of the day when he takes in 5 oz each. 

I have several questions:

1)   Although he is able to sleep through the night without any feeds, he sometimes still wakes up at 3am and/or 5am and cannot soothe himself back to sleep.  I then go to his crib and pat him and give him the pacifier.  After 20-30 minutes, he falls back asleep.  Do you know why this is?  Is it because he is unable to self-soothe and so needs help getting back to sleep?

2)  After keeping a log, I noticed that he needs at least 6 feeds (26 oz) a day in order to be able to sleep through the night.  Because the days are only so long, I end up having to cluster feed him at 4pm and 6pm and 8pm ish.  Should I not be cluster feeding him now that he is past 3 months?  Should I just increase the amount of breastmilk at each feed to achieve the same result?  Unfortunately, we were never good with a dreamfeed.  He spits up quite a bit so he needs to be burped and sat up after each feed.  Eventually, I would like to get him to a 4 hour E.A.S.Y., and at that time, I don't think 6 feeds a day would be achievable.

3)  Although I cannot complain about his night time sleep, he has a lot of trouble napping.  His first nap after the 7am feed is good, but all the others are super short.  I try to put him down drowsy and awake.  After he falls asleep, he usually wakes up after 10, 30 or 45 minutes.  I don't think it is because of overtiredness or overstimulation - I try to put him down at the first signs of tiredness and I try to keep activities pretty low key.  When he wakes up from his nap early, I try to pat him back to sleep and give him the pacifier, but sometimes he just stays awake.  (The only good thing about this is that it allows me to cluster feed him in the evenings.)  Is it because he sleeps too much at night?  What do you think is the reason?  What can I do to prolong the naps?

THANKS SO MUCH!!!!

[Linhi]

My 2m old having the same problem with nap.

[Ima shel Alon]

Do you know why this is?  Is it because he is unable to self-soothe and so needs help getting back to sleep?

Could be, or could be that something needs tweaking in his routine. Would you like to post his day in an EASY format and we can have a look?

Should I not be cluster feeding him now that he is past 3 months?

My answer to that, and I quote Tracey on: "If it's not broken, don't fix it". As long as it's working I would continue doing that, IIWY.

WRT naps I can say more once I see how his routine looks like.

[blueberry7]

Thanks for the replies.  My LO's E.A.S.Y. routine looked like this:

6:30am/7am - Eat
7:30am - Activity
8am - Sleep

10am - Eat
10:30am - Activity
11am/11:15am - Sleep (usually wakes up after 30-45 minutes and sometimes I am successful at shush/patting him back to sleep.  If not, I feed him early)

around 1pm - Eat
1:30pm - Activity
2:15pm - Sleep (wakes up after 30-45 minutes and sometimes I am successful at shush/patting him back to sleep.  If not, I feed him early)

around 4pm - Eat
4:30pm - Activity
5:15pm - Sleep (wakes up after 20-30 minutes and sometimes I am successful at shush/patting him back to sleep for another 30 minutes, and then I feed him.)

around 6pm - Eat
6:30pm - Activity
7:15pm - maybe a short nap if he wants

around 8pm - Eat, then bedtime routine
9-10pm - Bedtime

Wakes up sometimes at 3 and/or 5am and I will try to put him back to sleep with shush/patting and pacifier.

Today, I switched it up a bit so that he eats more every 3 hours - 7, 10, 1, 4 and 7 (without the cluster feeding at 4, 6 and 8pm).  Between 4 and 7pm today, he wanted to nap, but woke up after 30 minutes and struggled to go back to sleep.  We just picked him up and fed him and then we did his bedtime routine after that.

[Ima shel Alon]

If his day starts at 7ish then it's better to aim for a 12h day which would mean a 19ish bt. If he goes to bed at 22 which is pretty late for any kid then his 7 wu is actually a nw, iyswim.
my first step iiwy would be to shorten the day, the next step would be to tweak his a times so they are age appropriate.  It's hard to see from your easy how long his a times are because you don't state how long each nap is, but at his age he should be doing a timesof approximately 1.5h.
what do you think?

[blueberry7]

Thank you!  Sorry, just to clarify, you think the 7am awakening is really just a nighttime awakening?

He can usually stay awake for 1 hour to 1.5 hours since he wakes (which includes eating and activity).  For example, if he wakes up at 1pm, he will show signs of tiredness around 2 to 2:30pm.  I try to put him to bed when I see those signs because I'm afraid he will be overtired.  How do I stretch out his waking time without making him overtired and fussy? 

Thank you again!

[Ima shel Alon]

you think the 7am awakening is really just a nighttime awakening?

If he goes to bed at 22, then yes! But 22 o'clock BT is pretty late for any child, not to mention a baby, so he can be so extremely OT that he his 7WU is an EW.

We always increase A times gradually to prevent OT and to to give baby a chance to get used to the new A, but it still doesn't mean you won't see ANY OT. But it should pass if you just stick with the new A times.
You increase by 10min every 4 days and he should be ok. I think he might be ok even with just 10min increase, otherwise his A time is going to be too long for his age.

[blueberry7]

Thanks!  We put him to bed right after his 7pm feed, but it takes so long for him to fall asleep.  For example, tonight, he fell asleep at 8pm then woke up crying 10 minutes later and I spent the next 50 minutes soothing him back to sleep (he was crying and struggling).  So he slept at 9pm tonight.  I would love it if his bedtime is earlier, but I don't know how to get him to sleep earlier.  Should I be letting him cry it out or "ferberize" him at 3.5 months?  Why is it such a struggle for him to fall asleep?

[*happy*]

please please don't let your LO cry it out.
on my phone now but will be back asap with my BTDT.
hugs in the meantime.this is a hard age!

[Ima shel Alon]

Some babies, like adults, struggle with sleep more than others.
My DS was a very very very difficult sleeper, so much as we woke up one day to a note on our door from our neighbors saying that they will call child services if the crying at night continues. If only they knew that we were BW and were not leaving his side for a moment. On the other hand my niece is an angel sleeper, at 2m she is already STTN. So every baby is different and some takes longer to adjust to the new world they are in, some are touchier, some need more time.

I know that it sounds like a cliche, but I can promise you that IT WILL GET BETTER.
You only know each other for such a short time, so once you'll know him better you'll also find your way to help him sleep better.
I would rather tell you to AP if you are at wits end, than to CIO. There is more and more research showing that methods like CC and CIO damage the trust between a baby and his care giver. There is some more information about it here: Cry it out (CIO): 10 reasons why it is not for us
Video on CIO/CC and its effect on brain development
Research on why 'cry it out' and 'controlled crying' is NOT recommended!

I do believe, like I said before in my posts, that tweaking his A times will help. If he is doing 1h A times right now then it's simply not enough for him, which can result in short naps, hard to settle NW, EW and BT refusal.
EASY is not magic, it's not going to be fixed in a day and it does take the work. But you are always there for your baby, yk? And he will grow to be a toddler, a child and a grown up that knows you are there for him.

Believe me when I say that I know how hard it is. I suffered from PPD with a baby who did not sleep for the life of him and I had no support around whatsoever. After I realized that I need to adjust EASY to work FOR US, which meant some AP, then the pressure went down and sleep got better. And when he was older I personally found it so much easier to ST and to deal with sleep.

Hugs, sweetie, I am here if you need to talk. And if you like you can post another EASY from yesterday or today and we can have a look at it again.

[*happy*]

sorry i never got back yesterday.had a rough sleep day!
just want to second what Ima said(she's v wise&held
my hand through sleep issues with DD1!)
hang in there hun.you are not alone with this.x

[blueberry7]

Just wanted to say a huge thank you for the tips, encouragement and support.  We really appreciate it!! 

[*happy*]

how are you getting on?we are hit&miss here!
i just wish i could figure out what makes for a hit so i could
could do it every day!