Unbearable nights with almost one year old

[LovelyLilyandJack]

Urgh! This boy refuses to sleep well at night. He's always had a tendency to wake at 2 - 4 am, and unless he resettles himself within 10 minutes he's up for 1.5 - 2 hours.  He's always done it occasionally, but this week we've had nws every night bar one. He had a cold earlier in the week, and was up for an hour each night at 11ish.  I'm sure that must have been OT or discomfort.  But then he got better and reverted to his 2 / 3am wake ups.  Last night he was up for 2 hours 

We moved to one nap a couple of weeks ago after 2 nap days gave us 9 - 9.5 hour nights and bedtime resistance.  He also stopped napping well on anything less than 5.5hrs A time. We're now on a set nap at 12.15,  give or take 15 minutes:

WU: 6.15 - 6.45 (earlier in th is range if sttn and later if has nws)
Nap: 12.15 for 2hrs 15 usually.  Never less than 2hrs
Bedtime: 7.30.

He's also started nursery this week, has molars moving around / cutting and has recently learnt to properly pull up and cruise more confidently so it could be all that put together? Or,  I know it's most likely OT, but to say this boy is lsn is an understatement.  Last time he did these long nws for more than one night a week he was getting too much day sleep / UT at bedtime so I'm not ruling that out either.

Anyway, I'm really unsure as to whether I should ride it out or what.... Anyone with any experience of these sort of nws? Could he now be getting used to me going in at night after so many nws and be expecting help to resettle? It's definitely worse since he started standing in his cot.  He's not resettled himself once since that started. I don't know.  I suppose I'm worried it's routine related but reluctant to change too much there cos it's been sooo hard getting to one set nap.  The thought of starting again makes me want to cry 

[songbird]

Hello hugs for the tough nights....I think it may be routine related in which case more experienced mummies or the mods can probably offer better advice, but I just wanted to share my experience with dd's long nws. She used to wake for 1-2 hrs regularly as well around this age up to 13 months or so.  We found moving to one nap definitely helped (but our one nap is rarely over 1.5h not because I want to cap but she just never sleeps more than that), but a big difference for us was when I tried not going into her room at nws but played music through our video monitor instead.  To our great surprise she went back to sleep after 5-10 minutes most of the time!! Of course there are still nights when she would still want us to go in but now she mostly sstn or just goes back to sleep with the music without us having to go in.

Dd always goes to sleep with music on though (music on our phones which I take out of her room after she's asleep). So maybe that's why the music thing helped her settle (and our presence seems to keep her up for longer at these nws). That's our experience, don't know if that may work for your LO?

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Honestly with teeth, nursery, illness and the cruising I think it might be something to just ride out for a bit.  Even with lsn I cant imagine he needs the nap capped so soon and if he did know how to resettle before he will most likely do so again with a litte encouragement once all these things have sorted.

[LovelyLilyandJack]

Thanks both.  I do try not to rush in to him but I don't think he can low himself back down from standing so I think that's a big factor.  I'm going in,  telling him to lie down and patting the mattress, then bending his knees for him and sort of manhandling him down to the mattress! I then walk out and stay out unless he's starting to properly cry. I've been going in more though since he's been standing to help him lie back down. Last night he eventually settled after giving calpol (had given nurofen an hour earlier) and my husband sat in with him a few minutes after he'd calmed.  He thinks he was still awake when he left though.

Is there another way I should be dealing with the nws? Or does that sound ok? He's definitely had some SA today and yesterday.  Should that affect how I deal with the nws?

And you don't think it's OT, or if it is, do you think he'll get past it seeing as he'd taking a decent nap?  That's my main concern - that with these nws he's not getting much over night sleep.

[LovelyLilyandJack]

In addition to above, he's learning how to get down to sitting from standing now in the day, and I've seen him do it once during play time in his cot.  I don't know if he's really capable of doing it if he's upset though,  iykwim?  Should I assume he can (and will) while settling him, or carry on helping him get down?

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Sorry didn't see your first reply!

Does he have lots of opportunity to practice getting down during A time? I think what you are doing for the nw's sounds good - seems you keep it brief and low key - maybe give him a bit more time to see if he lays down on his own? (Unless he is properly needng you of course!).

[LovelyLilyandJack]

Great, thanks.  Yes, he's getting quite a bit of practice most days. He's definitely trying to master it cos he's up and down a lot!

Thanks for your help.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

You're welcome....ah those memories are coming back now from my first two, hopefully he is able to use his new skill at night as well!

[LovelyLilyandJack]

I'm not sure if he is yet, but fingers crossed he seems to be losing the compulsion to practice at night.  The last 3 nights have been fine - he's sttn til 6. Really hoping it continues....

Is it likely that 10.5 hrs is a full night's sleep for him btw?  He's getting just under 13hrs in 24 which is all he's ever done, and is bright and happy so I'm assuming it is,  but I'm always on the lookout for more sleep, especially at night

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Sounds like it probably is for him...DD3 is doing 11 hours mostly at night at 6 months...I so understand the desire for more night sleep, but at least for us she is doing the same hours as her older sisters so it is handy.