New Mom needs help and encouragement!

[etumminelli]

Hi!

I am a new mom and I have a 6 week old baby. I have been doing BW for the past few weeks and just started Shh/Pat this week. I know it's going to take some time to get him use to it but I had some questions…

He is able to go to sleep during nap time for about 30-40 minutes and then he wakes up. Do I then go in and Shh/pat him until he falls asleep? It seems like I'm shh/patting him for the remainder of his nap time.. is this usual in the beginning? Am I correct that I'm suppose to shh/pat him until he is asleep?

At night he is waking at 2am and 5am. I have been feeding him during those times and then putting him back to bed. Should I start doing shh/pat during those times instead of feeding him? Or is he still at the age where he needs food in the middle of the night?

I guess I just want some encouragement and clarification… am I using shh/pat the correct way… during his nap time? Will it take a good chunk of the nap time to get him to stay asleep?

Thank you!

[Violet's mom]

Hi new mom!  6 week olds are fairly unpredictable for naps so I would really focus more on trying to get the EASY order down and learning your LO's cues for food and sleep (not worrying about the length of the nap until they are a touch older).  If your LO enjoys shh pat and goes back to sleep then that's great!

Two or three night feedings (or 4 during a growth spurt) is very normal!  Is your son breast or bottle fed?  Every baby is different - that being said my dd had 2 night feeds well into her 6th month.

Enjoy the newborn phase

[etumminelli]

Thanks! Unfortunately, the newborn phase is a little rough…my LO has reflux. So we have been dealing with him not eating as much because of the pain..

I have some questions to clarify the shhh/pat routine..

1. Do I shh/pat until my LO falls asleep? Or when he is "in the zone" as BW puts it?
2. If he falls asleep while during shhh/pat, and I continue to make sure he is asleep by shh/patting, do I have to start over if he wakes up (even if it is during the 10 minutes of shh/pat)? This has happened several times before.
3. I understand this is a several week process, but when will I have the cue that my LO can sleep without my shh/pat? I am worried the shh/pat will eventually become a prop itself for my sons sleep.

Thanks for the help.

[etumminelli]

Sorry, now more question. Our son seems to wake up during naps, and stares around for about 10-20 minutes. Do we shh pat or let him stare around if he seems content? Thanks again

[weaver]

Hey there, if he has reflux, then his discomfort needs to be address before you do any sleep training.  If he's in pain, he'll wake up.  You know, you'll just putting in lots of effort for no gain.  So, once you're happy his reflux is properly controlled with meds, and he's eating well, he'll be in a better position to sleep.

If he's waking up, but not crying, then I would leave him to it.  Listen to what he 'says' to you, if he's calling out 'mama', then go to him.  If not, then don't.  Be aware that he will also have a mantra cry which is a repetitive sound he will make as he is getting off to sleep. 

[wyattsmomma]

Hi New Mom!

I'm also a new mom and have been able to get help from these boards with short naps for my 4 mo son. I wanted to comment on the reflux issue--my son has reflux as well and I had been resistant to meds until the pediatrician strongly recommended it a few weeks ago. It makes a big difference! It doesn't cure the reflux, but the pain is controlled, so he feeds SO much better.

Previous to the meds, I had raised his crib mattress so he was on an incline during naps. Not ideal as he would sometimes roll since he's swaddled, but it certainly helped. I just put a pillow under the mattress to raise it. Now, with meds, I've been able to lower the mattress back down in preparation to move him to his crib for night sleep. I've had him in the Rock and Play for night sleep instead of a bassinet since it keeps him on an incline. Again, not ideal, but I know several moms who have used the Rock and Play out of necessity and it's a huge help. I'm now ready to move him to his crib at night, but until now all of the above have been big helps with managing the reflux.

Best of luck!

[TB9]

Is his reflux under control hun?

[dache]

Hi, another new mom with refluxy baby.
As wyattsmomma said, you first have to manage the reflux.
For us reflux meds and raised crib mattress (and everything else)on an incline  works well.She just started the meds 2 weeks ago but she has longer naps and settles easy in her cot. Still wakes at night tough. 
Patting can make reflux worse so look out for that and if it does, you need to for an alternative (patting the bottom?!)