Help with 19 month old sleeping

[Rachel600]

Hi

Im really desperate for some advice with DD3. We are struggling with her sleeping at night and have been for over a year now, I just think it will get better one day but I am realising that I have got to do something about it now. She feeds to sleep and co-sleeps from her first wake up time which could be 10pm/11pm or if Im really lucky, midnight. She then wakes up every 2 hours or so looking for a feed or needing a cuddle. She doesn't need a feed but Im just too exhausted to tackle it or battle it. She seems to get ill every two or three weeks so that always affects her sleep. She has just had a very bad cough and cold and isn't quite over it yet. With my other DD's I had stopped feeding at night at around 9/10 months so this is just what I have used to get her back to sleep quickly so I can have a bit more sleep myself so I can cope with the day with the girls.


Im not sure what to start with but I was thinking that I should just not feed her when she wakes for 1 night, just morning and evening and see how that goes. Then continue that for the following nights, I know this would be horrible but I just cant see how else to do it.  I would like to give up feeding her totally as well sometime soon. Everyone else just keeps telling me to leave her to scream but I just cant and wont. Any advice would be really appreciated.

[HenaV]

Hi!

I'm sorry that things are so rough for you.  I have no experience of this as my DD much like your other weekend off easily. I think your absolutely right no to let her scream. Hang in there. I'm going to see if I xxx an get some eyes for you xxx

[*Ali*]

Do you feed her to sleep for naps and bt too? In your bed or hers?

She will understand a lot at this age.  I told my DSs that mummy's boobies needed to sleep so there would be no more milk at night and then resettled without feeding.

Do you want her in her own bed or are you happy to continue cosleeping?

[Rachel600]

Hi

She is fed to sleep for her nap too, except if she is in the car which happens on a nursery school day. I sit on my bed to feed her then put her in her bed.

She understands a lot and when I tell her no more she gets very upset. I will try that tonight though as it may help.

I love having her sleeping in my bed but I think it must be time for her to be a bit more independent of me and dh has had enough. I wonder if I'm half the problem as I know she is my last child and I'm just making the most of all those snuggles. Because I'm so tired from lack of sleep though I am less patient with the girls in the day. Also, if the other girls need me in the night I feel I have to get back to dd3 quickly as she is not in a cot.

[*Ali*]

I don't expect her to just happily give up the breast just because you told her they are sleeping btw. She will of course still cry. I do think it should help her understand there will be no more when you choose to stop though.

When weaning NFs with my two at 12.5mo and 15mo we just kept reiterating that boobies were sleeping and he could have milk in the morning.

Is it possible to put a mattress (or even sofa cushions) on the floor in her room so you can stay in there for a transitional period? Then you could soothe her from there until she is used to sleeping in her own bed all night. After that you could just resettle her in there and leave once she is asleep and then work on getting out the door while she is still falling asleep. That would be over a period of weeks I expect. You could soothe her by rubbing/stroking her head or back and using your voice. Again you would reduce the contact as you move forward with the GW. What do you think?