Hi!
Our little man has been going through a difficult patch for the last 3 months, having turned two, acquired a new baby sister and teething his 2nd molars as well. Usually he's a great sleeper and an angel at bedtime but recently everything seems to have gone to pot (not eating, epic tantrums, dummy addiction, everything is "no") and bedtimes and also some nap times are now a nightmare.
Our normal BT routine is simple: Once washed, done teeth, jammies on etc, go upstairs and get in bed. Sing a short lullaby with the lights off, kisses goodnight and walk out. He always goes to sleep happily by himself, with the exception of teething/ill times. Now he's discovered the light switch as well as a newfound desire to do nothing we ask and everything we don't want him to do. As soon as we walk out the room, he's out of bed, puts on the light and starts kicking the door (the latch is too high for him to open). We've been going back in, switching off the light, saying "sleep time now", putting him back in bed and walking out again. Some times I've had to do this 10 times before he'll stay in bed and go to sleep. bedtimes are worse than nap times, although we've had some tough NT's too. I've had so much success with pu/pd when he was younger and also whenever our routine's been busted over the last year, that I was kind of expecting this strategy to work too. It hasn't however. Are we going about this in the wrong way or should we just ride it out? I have a feeling he's teething his final set of molars but we can also throw new baby jealousy and generally being two into the mix, so it's hard to know exactly what's causing it. He just seems like a complete emotional wreck at the moment. He's only ever had his dummy for sleep times but since the baby arrived two month ago, he's been wanting it in the daytimes and often cannot seem to manage without it. He'll spend an hour in a heap of tears on the floor, pining for his dummy.
To add further confusion to it all, I have to admit I have allowed our once-rigid routine to slip somewhat in the last couple of months. I've loosened up on naptimes to allow us to join in with more play dates, and his bedtime, which was always 7:30 sharp, is often now 8-8:30ish as Daddy likes to see him when he gets in from work.
Here are our before and after routines:
Routine for the past year. He always did well on this:
w/u 7am
nap 11:30am for up to 3 hours
b/t 7:30pm
Routine since February:
w/u anywhere between 6-7:30am
nap anytime between 11:30-2, for up to 3 hours
b/t 8-8:30pm but might not actually go to sleep until 9-10 if he decides to play up.
Do you think the slack routine has caused all the other troubles, including the irrational, irritable behaviour and sleep refusal, or is it more likely to be the other things i.e. teething, new baby, being two that have caused the sleep problems? I feel like we're all in a muddle!
I'd like to do some sleep training with him again but I'm not sure which is the best method to use now he's two, in a big-boy-bed and can switch the light on! I'm also not sure if I should do any sleep training at all, in view of the fact that he could well be teething. The trouble, is, this has been going on for a couple of months and we're all exhausted. We don't get much time together in the evenings and most of it is spent sitting in the dark, waiting for him to go to sleep when our other tactics have failed to work.
Help! We would love some advice on how to get a two year old back on track. Or do we need to just ride this one out? I feel worried about him at the moment as he seems like an emotional wreck most of the time, despite my best efforts to keep things normal with the arrival of the new baby. He's permanently on edge and breaks down at the slightest thing. Every activity in the day, be it getting showered, dressed, eating meals, getting out the door, has become a massive mountain to climb and involves endless negotiations, bribes and tantruming. Arrrg! What to do.....??!
