15 month old terrible sleeper and in need of some help

[Grufter]

Hi there,
I have used the BW with both of my boys (or at least tried with youngest son).
My eldest son slept through the night at 8 weeks and adapted to EASY instantly. My 15 mo boy is very difficult. He has had various problems, diagnosed with severe silent reflux, a number of allergies, eczermca, etc etc so we have always had a tougher time with him. He still doesnt self settle at 15 months and has to be asleep in your arms before you can put him down. He also had an operation two weeks ago and this has set us back on the sleep front. He can sleep through the night in his own cot, and has done it before but never through the night morw than three times in the week. I feel like we need to try something more drastic to try and get him into a good sleep routine.

He has one big nap in the afternoon. Goes down by 7.15-7.30 and then has started to wake between 10.30 - 1am. We have been guilty of getting him straight into our bed as we are so shattered having no sleep that we have lost the ability to be strict with him.

Can anybody please help to usggest where to start to getting him sdleeping back in his bed. Does hubby need to do PU/PD with him?

Any suggestions really grateful,

V xxxxxxxxxxx

[HenaV]

Hi!

Given that he is not an IS I think you will need to opt for GW. I haven't done it myself but below is a link that will help with the process:

Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

At 15month you may find that PU/PD aggravates the situation in that LO are more aware and emotionally intelligent as they get older so it may heighten his emotions and up the anti in terms of any upset. Instead, I have seen advised laying your LO down and putting your hand on him, once he's used to going to sleep that way, you gradually withdraw as described in the link until you are at the door and then out the room with him sleeping independently. It can be a long process so I think if you are going to embark on it you need to be prepared to stay the course. Also, if you and DH are going the share the load, discuss and set your plan with regular updates to one another to maintain consistency.

HTH.

Hena

[Grufter]

Thank you so much for the response. I do appreciate your help and this makes sense in terms of a new approach. I am going to start with him tomorrow and plan how we move forward with small milestones!

I will let you know how we get on,

Thanks again x

[HenaV]

You are welcome and good luck 

[Grufter]

Thank you 

Okay, so it's completely early days with this but at the first attempt I can't even get him into his cot without him standing up extremely upset. He only wants to fall asleep in my arms and that is when I am able to get him down into his cot, when he is fast asleep and he is none the wiser.

He will not tolerate me patting his back, lying him down and gets distraught.

How do I make the transition to getting him into his cot and keeping him lying down without standing up and demanding that I pick him up?

Thanks as ever,

V xxx

[HenaV]

I would keep laying him down gently - I guess a more mature pu/pd. I have also seen advised laying on a matress in the floor by the cot to promote the idea and he'll then get used to laying down by himself.

I will try and get you some eyes with more experience of this issue though. Just hang in there. You are on the  right track

H x

[Buttonbobs]

Hi there, I completely agree with Hena only your approach here.

I would perhaps start by cuddling him until he is calm and drowsy but not asleep and then laying him down and keeping a hand on him until he falls asleep. I agree with hena's suggestion of having a mattress in the room to lie on so he can see you and you are there for him. If he stands up, encourage him to lie down verbally and if necessary lay him down (although he careful as with a toddler the physical putting down can become a little bit of a game). You can sleep in with him if possible for a few days, then begin to cuddle him and put him in his cot awake but stay with him as the next phase.

Does this make sense?

Please don't feel that you're doing it wrong if he cries. Unfortunately toddlers are very vocal when they don't want something. The cuddling to sleep is all he has ever known and he will cry to protest the change. You are not leaving him alone so this won't break his trust in you. Be prepared for the crying, as even though you know to expect it it is still hard, perhaps wear some ear plugs if you find that helps you to cope. He will learn and the crying will reduce and then you must move to the next step before he gets used to what you are doing. You must be consistent so make sure you feel ready to do this.

You can do it (((hugs)))

[Grufter]

Thanks you so much for your help.

It doesn't help that his paed has tried to take him off his reflux meds so he was really poorly last with silent reflux (Wakings started from 8pm every hour). So, he is back on the meds and then when fighting fit (should be back in his system by tomorrow), we are drawing up a plan to ride it out. He is so stubborn and even trying to lie him down really disgruntles him. The mattress on the floor is the next option for us to try.

Really apreciate your help and we will let you know how we get on,

Thanks, V xxxxxxxxxxxx

[Buttonbobs]

It doesn't help that his paed has tried to take him off his reflux meds so he was really poorly last with silent reflux (Wakings started from 8pm every hour

Oh no, ((((hugs)))) for this. I agree that now is not the time to try and change things for him, while he is uncomfortable.

He is so stubborn and even trying to lie him down really disgruntles him. The mattress on the floor is the next option for us to try.

If lying him down makes him more frustrated and wound up, you could always decide just to encourage him to lie down himself. It may take longer to get him lying down, but if causes slightly less upset it may be worth a try. It will also help with NWs generally if he knows that he is supposed to lie himself down in his cot.

I hope he feels better soon and will be here for you as and when you're ready to start.