How do you let go of control re: eating

[momma.bear]

I am a bit health obsessed when it comes to what my 3 year old and 20 month old eat. But I never look forward to meal times and it bothers me to no end if the kids don't eat much dinner and don't eat all their veggies. I just don't know how to let go. Breakfast is usually the worst. If I give them oatmeal (I hide veggie puree and fruit in there) they are usually fine, as I spoon feed them and they don't really mind it. But if I give them any other food lately it seems (toast, pancake, waffle, muffins) they take a bite and would rather just eat the fruit on their plate. It's a bit frustrating because I go through a lot of work to bake for them, and I know that they need carbs for energy etc. especially in the morning. I guess I'm just looking for some guidance. I know that kids will eat what they need, but I hate waste and I don't like when they just refuse things even without trying them sometimes.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Kids portion sizes are actually quite small compared to an adults, have you tried serving smaller portions and then offering a second helping? I am actually amazed that a 3 year old will let you spoon feed! Mine quit taking a spoon before 1 year!

I don't like the waste either but honestly it is just inevitable with kids and their ever changing appetites. Some days mine eat everything in sight and others they are barely touching a thing. Personally I feel it is my job to make and serve mostly healthy options and their job to decide what & how much to eat. It's not that I don't care, but in the long run they need to learn to self regulate as I won't always be there to guide them.

[Lana]

agree with Heidi.  I put the food on the table and they decide what they want to eat. 

really small portions are totally the key.  then you give them the opportunity to ask for more

it is hard to let go for sure but they will not starve themselves. 

[HenaV]

R eats mostly fruit for breakfast. She still has milk in the morning but is not really one for a big breakfast. I used to stress about it and do you know what  it made no difference!! So I ask her what she'd like and get on with it. She has a snack around 10.30 but between breakfast and then,as a general rule nothing. That ways I know she s not just relying on the snacks. So this morning for instance R had:

A small portion of dry cornflakes
Half of toasted bread
3 strawberries
4 raspberries
Small handful of blueberries
2 small glases of fruit juice

Snack @11 ish - small handful of grapes

Hth x