One year old - which track to get back on?!

[MrsTigs]

Evening everyone  Hoping someone can shed some light on the pickle we're currently in......

Over the last couple of weeks my little boy has been thrown off track by a holiday at the seaside, two new teeth, his first birthday party and finally mastering the art of walking! As a result, we've had a lovely mix of early wakings, bedtime battles and erratic naps. I've spent most of this week at home trying to calm things down, but he's still all over the place

Before the upheaval, his schedule looked something like this:

W/U: 6.30am
A: 3.5 hours
S: 10am (40 mins to one hour)
A: 4 hours
S: Around 3pm (30 to 40 mins)
A: 4 hours
S: 7pm

So he was getting around 11.5 hours sleep at night, plus about 1.5 hours in the day, making for 12.5 to 13 hours in total.  He's aways been a cat napper who seems to need less sleep than average; a one hour nap is good for him and he seemed to do just fine on around 13 hours or less in 24.

Since our holiday etc, he's been difficult to get down for both his naps - often resulting in the morning one happening later than usual or the afternoon one being missed. If the former, his afternoon cat nap is then too close to bedtime and he ends up going to bed later (7.30-8pm) and getting a shorter night (around 10.5 hours). If the latter, we put him to bed early (5.30 - 6pm), but as his morning sleep is only an hour, he ends up being awake for around 6 to 6.5 hours before bedtime. He typically still wakes at 6.30 regardless of his bedtime, although we're starting to get earlier wakings too (mostly 6am this week, but 5.30am on a couple of occasions last week - possibly teeth related).

I'm wondering whether he's starting to drop to one nap and whether I'm making things worse by trying to get him back on his old two nap track?? I thought he was heading that way around 10 months, but then we hit a nasty cold and he seemed ok on two naps again after that!

He's always been able to handle quite long A times for his age, and really struggles at bedtime if his cat nap is much past 3pm. But I think 6 hours+ before bedtime is pushing it, even for him! If only I could get him to sleep longer in the morning......

Any suggestions? Do you think this is the 2-1 transition? Is he likely to be overtired already? He's generally a happy baby, but has lately been a little more irritable/distracted (although we do have teeth and developmental stuff going on too!)

Any help gratefully received 

[MrsTigs]

Ok, so things seem to be getting worse.......

We did two naps yesterday as he fell asleep in the car in the morning.  Plus he seemed super exhausted and grumpy  The day's schedule looked like this:

W/u: 6.20 (after 11hrs 40mins sleep)
A: 3.5 hours
S: 45 mins
A: 4.25 hours
S: 35 mins
A: 3.75 hours
B: 7.15

Those nap lengths are actually pretty standard for him and he seemed a bit happier after them. He also went to bed very welland we ddidn't hear a peep all evening.

But....... it's now 5.30 and he's been awake for half an hour  Daddy's trying to resettle as I type this.......

Any ideas? Is he just getting OT from the long A times and chopping and changing between one nap and two? Or still not quite caught up from holiday/teething etc?

I I really don't know how to proceed? What A times should I be working towards?? Does it matter if we're swapping between two naps and one, or should we aim to always do an afternoon cat nap and make bedtime later instead?

Thanks xx

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

For some kids going back and forth from one to two naps works well...for mine it never did (or maybe it was me, I just like to jump in head first with changes!). I think A times for this age are anywhere from 3.5-4.5 hrs as an average and to get one nap consistently then they need to be on the upper end of that. If he has always been on the lower end for sleep he may be ready.

[MrsTigs]

Thanks for your reply 

I was wondering if switching between two naps and one was making things worse..... It's certainly messing with my head!

I think the problem is his variable wake up times and the fact that some mornings he just seems so exhausted and whingy. Which makes me think he must be OT and desperate ffor a sleep.... but when we're out and about he seems very capable of doing 4.5-5 hours awake so perhaps it's just a habit/boredom when we're at home?

Think I'm going to try 4.5 hours A in the morning for a few days, with a very short afternoon CN if required. Although I'm struggling to work out what constitutes a 'short' nap in out case; an hour is amazing for him!

And what do I do if we continue to get 5/5.30 wake ups? That would make for a very early bedtime if he just had one nap, even if it was an hour plus.

Confused!

[MrsTigs]

Right, so he woke at 5.55am this morning and I started settling him for his morning nap at 10.10, aiming for 4.5hrs A time.

He protested at first, but calmed down quickly (an improvement). He did take 20 mins to fall asleep, but slept for a 55mins which is great for him. I think he may have gone longer, but the neighbour's dog started barking in the garden and woke him. I tried to resettle and thought he might go a couple of times (yawning and eyes drooping), but I gave up after 20mins. He did wake up quite calm, which is a change from either crying or immediately yelling to get up.

My question now is what to do about his next nap and A time? An hour's nap is quite good for him, but then again he did perhaps wake up before he was ready. Should I try for a buggy CN at 3ish? That would be 3.5hrs A time and sounds on the shirt side..... he's resisted naps at that time on much shorter morning naps! But then again waiting until 3.30 or later wil most likely result in him not being ready for bed at 7pm.

I think we're heading in the right direction, but it's just so hard to know what will be best. Plus the same formula seems to produce different results each time!!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Usually the day ends up being longer for a bit when they still are not quite ready for one nap but need a higher A time. I think I would go for a 30 min nap at 3:30 and push bedtime back.

It could just be boredom at home making him seem more tired than he is. Is he a pretty social kid? My DD1 & DD3 love to be out and about. DH actually has them at the park for a good 1-1.5 hrs right up to bedtime so that they are ready for sleep!

I agree, the same formula does often yield different results - the joy of toddlerhood .

[MrsTigs]

Well, we did a buggy nap at 3.40 - he went off ok with a bit of rocking and woke independently after 25mins. Bedtime got pushed back to 7.30 - he was calmer during the evening than recent days, but not really ready to sleep at 7.30 and I had to settle him with a hand on his back for 10mins.

Overall pretty good and he woke at 6.25 which is the latest we've had for ages  So today started well and he went down pretty easily for his morning nap at 11 (4.5 hours A time).

But he started stirring after 30mins.... I tried to resettle and thought I'd won, but he woke fully 5mins later when the letterbox clattered  I was so frustrated that I burst into tears, which of course set him off! We had a cuddle and he was yawning away, but wouldn't go off again. So now I guess we're looking at a 3pm CN again....

Should I keep his morning A time at 4.5 hours for a couple more days and then review? He did go off without protest this morning, which is better, but obviously isn't zonking out for a good sleep.

Oh, and yes, he's very very sociable - smiles at everyone, leaps into new situations and loves being busy! It takes a lot to over-stimulate him - unlike Mummy who needs regular quiet alone time to recharge! I guess we're at odds there and I probably assume he must be tired and overwrought when he's more likely to be bored and frustrated!

The joys of toddlerhood indeed......! Thanks for all your input 

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I think I would persist with that A time. Do you use white noise at all? I find it helps block out the house noises a bit.

I like my quiet alone time too....yet here I am stuck with three spirited girls, two of whom are extroverts! Yikes! Not sure what we will do to wear DD3 out once winter hits - hopefully she likes to toboggan!

[MrsTigs]

Sounds like you have a busy household! I love the fact that T is (usually) so happy and energetic and inquisitive, but I do worry about being able to keep up with him..... going back to work part time soon for a rest!

Our 3pm nap yesterday was a complete fail - he just would not go off  So in the end he was up for almost 6.5 hours until we could get home amd do EBT. He was grumpy during his dinner, but surprisingly didn't fall asleep on the 10min drive to pick Daddy up (well not until 2mins from home!).

He was up this morning at 5.30 and wouldn't go back to sleep. I was hoping he'd do a 12hr+ night which is his usual pattern after such a long A and then EBT. But I guess he still got more sleep than recent days (11hrs+). He did wake up screaming though - a new thing since everything's gone wonky. Not sure if it's just tiredness or perhaps hunger as he hasn't been eating well either 

I'll stick with 4.5hrs A time for a few more days and see where we are. It's obviously going to be a two nap day today. .... We did use white noise when he was tiny, but then he didn't really seem to need it. Will reistate and see if it helps.

Thanks again

[MrsTigs]

And now looks like we're getting NW to add into the mix.... 

Today looked like this:

W/u: 5.30am (11.25 hrs sleep)
A: 5 hrs (tried nap at 4.5 hrs, but wouldn't have any of it)
S: 10.30 (1hr - seemed to want more, but wouldn't resettle)
A: 4.25hrs
S: 3.35 (25mins in the car)
A: 3.5hrs
S: 7.40pm (too half an hour to settle)

Woke at 11.20 and think he's just gone off now (hubby settling).

Was his bedtime too early? Hubby put him down while I was at pilates. Is it likely the NW was at UT or an OT obe? Really can't work it out....

There may also be teeth or hunger in the mix as he's a bit of his food too at the moment. Not too bad with cereal/dinner, but his usual sarnies and finger foods at lunch time are just being thrown on the floor!

Or maybe SA/developmental - has been quite clingy today, wanting to be picked up loads.

 

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

If he is off his food I bet teeth - perhaps the molars? DD3 is getting her bottom ones and some days I see they are so swollen no wonder she is not wanting much food! Have you tried meds before bed just to see? Of course around one year there is a growth spurt and mine always seem to have developmental leaps around their birthdays and half birthdays.

[MrsTigs]

I'm sure his teeth are playing a role; can't see any evidence,  but he's biting everything in sight, including me  Teeth don't normally disrupt his sleep this much though and we have been giving meds before bed for the last couple of days, and yesterday before his nap.

We did 5hr A time yesterday and the day looked like this:

W/u: 5.50 (screaming and wouldn't resettle - almost 11.25hrs sleep)
A: 5hrs (down for nap without protest)
S: 11.50 - 12.05 (1.25hrs - seemed to want more, but hysterical when I tried to resettle!)
A: 6.25hr
S: 6.20 (very awake, but actually went down with ok with bit of patting)
A: 5.17 (standing up and screaming)
S: 5.46
 
I was quite pleased with a 1.25hr nap as that's the longest he's done in a long, long time! But with a pre-6am start, it still makes for a very long day.... We were in the car at 4.15 and I think he could easily have slept then, but we sang some songs and he stayed awake for the 10min journey.

He went off to bed ok, although still needing heavy hand, rather than his usual roll over and zonk. I had hoped he'd do a 12hr night, which he has been doing with EBT (13hr once). But perhaps his teeth woke him?

What does the above schedule look like to you? The A times are on the long side, but I just cannot seem to get hom diwn for the morning sleep before then (unless I'm missing the wndow at 3.5/4hrs or something!) Things were ok at 4.5hrs for a couple of days, but then he seemed to stretch himself out.

Despite the EW and unpredictable wake ups, do you think we're heading in the right direction?? Or just setting ourselves up for hideous OT issues..... He starts nursery in a month so was hoping his routine would settle down before then (only to get messed up again no doubt!)

Thanks for all your input 

ETA: He woke at 6.25 so managed to get an extra 40mins. Major nappy leakage or perhaps he might have slept longer.... Not sure what to do for nap today - does the 40mins count?! Almost a 12hr night if so!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Yes I would count the 40 minutes in! I think if it were me I would persist with what you are doing and if you want to push bedtime later do it slowly by pushing out the nap & bedtime by 10-15 min every few days until it is at the time you want (doesn't work for every kid though, some have a pretty set internal clock!). As for teeth - I found the molars and eye teeth to be the worst as they took forever and did a lot of shifting before breaking through! 

Your routine is pretty similar to ours, we are at 5.5/6 hrs A time with naptime at 12:30/1:00 & bedtime at 8:00/8:30. Depending on the nap (lately she has a cold and is teething so naps a bit longer) she sleeps until 6:45/7:30. 11 hours seems to be the best she can do at night.

[MrsTigs]

Looks like we're heading back to two naps again!! 

On Saturday we visited relatives and he took a 40 minute nap on the way there (5hrs A time) and another 40 mins on the way home (3.5hrs A time). He seemed really ready for the second nap on particular and was also quite easy to put down at 7.30 (3.5hrs A time).

On Sunday he woke at 6.30, so 11hrs and the best night we've had for a while  Naps on Sunday and Monday followed much the same pattern (mostly in the car) and he then slept 11.5h and 12hrs respectively. Today he resisted his afternoon buggy nap a little, but think that was my fault for not catching it early enough. Will see what tonight brings...

So either we're over whatever developmental/teething/OT period we were going through.... or he's coming down with a bug or something! One year imms today, but fine all day and hopefully won't react too badly.

Not sure where we're headed now, but I'm trying to chill out and just accept these funny schedule blips (would think I'd have learnt that over the last year right?!). I'm going to go with his flow as much as I can, at least until we've started nursery and got into a rhythm with that.

Thanks so much for all your help 

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Oh lovely nights! Hopefully it was just a blip and things will be good now (well until the next one!). DD3 had har vax two weks ago, she was extra tired and a bit crabby but nothing too bad. Fx that it is the same for you guys!