Daytime Sleep for 21-Month-Old a Nightmare - Majorly OT?

[FrankiesMom12]

Hi All - first of all, thanks so much for all of the help you've given me in the past.  I know when things finally get sorted out from a sleep perspective, I inevitably forget to say thank you!  Anyway, I'm back posting because my 21-month-old is going through a pretty significant sleep regression (at least I think it's a regressions?!?!).  I truly think this one might give me a bleeding ulcer.  Anyway, here is what things look like normally from a schedule perspective:

7:15/7:30 - pd for bed and usually asleep right away
6:30/7:00 - awake for the day
12:45 - 2:45 - Nap

Things have been all over the place lately, though, with daytime sleep most affected.  He has had some problems with early wakings, but that seems to be sorting itself out.

6:00/6:30 - Wake-up (although this morning he slept until 7:00...hurray!!!)
12:30 - PD for nap with about 15 - 20 means of sobbing and "mama, I love you"...breaking my heart.
1:15 - 1:20 - wake-up sobbing and more "mama, I love you", finally falls back asleep
1:45 - 1:50 - wake-up sobbing and more "mama, I love you", finally falls back asleep
2:00 - Wake-up sobbing again; he usually won't fall back asleep after this
7:00 - PD for bed; usually falls asleep immediately

We did have several days last week where he talked to himself for over an hour after we put him to bed for the night.  It is likely that he's got some teeth coming in (the top 2 incisors cut last week, and I am guessing the bottom 2 are close behind).  If I give him pain relief it does not seem to help him sleep any better during the day.  I'm also a little worried he could be sick, but I took him to the doctors 2 weeks ago and they said no ear infections or anything.  He just really hasn't been himself and is so cranky I'm at my wit's end.  Any advice is appreciated!!!

[HenaV]

Hey there

First off big big hugs.

It does sound like SR and / or teeth to me. I'm pretty sure we had a similiar thing at around this age.

It may be worth trying an earlier bedtime for a few days and see if that helps him catch up and improve the days. The struggle I always find with SR is the OT which then compounds things.

What do you think?

Hena

[FrankiesMom12]

Hi Hena - thanks for the advice.  The day I posted above he started to sleep much better, and he no longer was waking up screaming/upset and clearly still tired.  I do have one additional question for you.  Lately, his afternoon nap has been a bit shorter, usually 1.5 hours.  It might be that now that he's sleeping later (until 7-ish) he doesn't need as much daytime sleep.  Here's my question, today I decided to let him stay in his crib when woke up at the 1.5 hour mark, just in case he might fall back asleep.  He never fell back asleep, but has been laying in there very quietly talking to himself with some 5 minute stretches with no sound.  I took a look at the baby monitor, and he's still laying and not standing or anything, and seems quite content.  I'm not sure if this is an indication that he's tired and needs some additional "quiet time", or if I should get him up when he wakes up.  What do you think, and how long would you let him stay up there?  Thanks!  -Jen

[HenaV]

Hi!

Sorry for the late reply. We are on holiday and the signal here is rubbish.

First off, if you are wanting a longer nap then you could consider making the nap 15mins later, hold for 3-5days and see if that makes a difference. However, if you are a
Happy with the nap, your LO seems happy and content and the nights are good, I'd be tempted to leave well alone.

Re: leaving LOs in bed, I do it and always have. As long as R is happy etc I leave her to it. Even now (at 3y) she will wake and lay there for what can at times seem like an eternity but she's content and just can't be bothered to get up, so hey, let her enjoy the lay while she can before you know it it'll be all alarm clocks  and schedules!!! Tbh, I think  a good for LOs to be able to do this rather than have get up as son as they wake - it also helps when they EW iykwim?

Re: him needing a longer nap - what's his mood when he wakes? I'd he seems happy/ non-grumpy, I'd follow his cues

Hth xxx

[FrankiesMom12]

Hi Hena - Thanks again for your input, I really appreciate it.  I also appreciate having "permission" to leave Frankie in his bed as long as he's happy.  Now...onto your other question.  Last week I would have said I was OK with his current sleep as he was sleeping pretty late into the morning, taking a decent nap that he woke up happy from, and going to bed easily at a reasonable hour.  All that changed on Friday; however.

I REALLY feel like having a fairly predictable sleep schedule with Frankie has always been a struggle.  For example, after his last sleep regression in July, he started sleeping quite well.  This was when he was waking up between 7:00 and 7:30, taking a 1.5 hour nap in the afternoon, and then going to bed at about 7:30 at night.  Last Friday everything changed AGAIN.  I put him down for his nap again at 1:00, and he skipped it altogether.  He just sat up there and fussed and finally cried and was quite upset, so I got him up at about 2:15.  Now, he's been waking up before 6, and taking a maximum of a 1:15 nap.  I put him down early the last 4 nights, but it doesn't seem to be helping him get back on track.

I feel really frustrated as it seems like we'll never have a routine I can plan around and rely upon.  I have been trying to get up about 30 minutes before he does in the morning for some quiet time, prayer, coffee consumption, etc. but now that he's waking up before 6 that's hard to do.  I feel like I talk to all of my friends with LO's the same age and they take at least a 2 hour nap, and get 11+ hours at night, and they aren't as consistent with their LO's schedules as I am.

Admittedly, he's probably teething (again!!!!).  He's got his bottom two incisors to go, and his last four molars.  I think it's the incisors coming in now.  Also, my MIL stayed with us starting on Saturday this weekend through yesterday.  She is "silly" Grandma and my son always has so much fun, but is also crazy over-stimulated while she's here.  Maybe that is affecting his sleep?

I guess, I maybe just need to know if it's normal to have a LO whose sleep fluctuates so much, is there maybe an end in site to the fluctuations?  I literally always feel like we'll finally get through a regression, have maybe 2 weeks of "normal" sleep, and he's back at it again.  Maybe I just need to get over myself and accept that what's normal for us is a lack of consistency.

Thanks again for your advice, and thanks for putting up with my mini-meltdown above!!!

[FrankiesMom12]

Hi Hena - sorry about my second desperation post of the day, but I thought I'd update you on today.  Not great, blah.  He was awake this morning a little before 6. I put him down at 12:45 for his nap, and he didn't fall asleep until 1:15 (even though he was rubbing his eyes, etc.)  He slept for no more than an hour and woke up quite upset.  I know I should probably put him down early tonight. Any thoughts on how early?