4.5 month old overtired, very poor naps and night sleep.

[tstewart7792]

My 4.5 month old son's sleeping has taken a drastic turn for the worse. He used to take 3-4 45 min naps a day, some of them an hour if we were lucky. Now he is taking 3-4 10 to 20 min naps, 40 mins if we are lucky. He isn't overly fussy about it but I can tell just by looking at him that he is overtired. His eyes are red rimmed and glassy and he only plays for a while before he becomes disinterested in toys and starts rubbing his eyes and yawning. I should mention he isn't the best night sleeper either. He has started waking every 2 hours only to be nursed back to sleep. This is what a typical day looks like for him:

6:30 am Wake Up
7:30 am Nurse to sleep (I try to put him in crib semi awake)
7:50 am- 8:10 am  Nap
Awake time, playing on activity mat, sitting in walker, held by mommy
9:30 am Nurse to sleep
9:50 am-10:20 am Nap
Awake time
11:40 am Nurse to sleep
12:00 pm-12:30 pm Nap
Awake time
2:00 pm Nurse to sleep
2:30 Failed nap
3:00 Nurse again to sleep
3:10 pm-3:50 pm Nap
5:00 pm Bath time
5:20 pm- 5:50 pm Nurse to sleep
At this point Nathan will generally fuss anywhere from 10-30 mins before falling asleep
9:30 pm He wakes and I nurse him back to sleep
11:30 pm wake and nursed back to sleep
1:30 am wake and nursed back to sleep
4:00 am wake and nursed back to sleep
6:00 am wake and nursed back to sleep
6:30- 7 am Up for the day

I should note that he wont take a pacifier or be shushed back to sleep.

How do I help him sleep better? Where am I going wrong because obviously this isn't working for him?

[Kellyjs]

Hi and welcome to BW! I hope we can help you.

A couple of questions if I may? Has he ever been an independent sleeper or have you always nursed to sleep? When he wakes from his naps is he happy or grizzly?

A couple of things stand out to me. Your A times are quite short for a 4.5mo. Many are averaging around 2hrs. Here's a link you might find handy Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!!

I think your NW's are a combination of being UT throughout the day and also replying on you to get back to sleep. Have you thought about sleep training at all? I'll post a link about the ssh/pat method at the end of this post.

I'd start by working on that first nap. I'd extend the A time by 10-15mins, hold for 3 days and increase again. The reason we don't jump straight away to a longer A time is because we don't want to risk him getting OT.

Let me know how it goes! X

Shush-pat - How to

Teaching Sleep to Babies of 3-5 months (and the 45 min nap)

[tstewart7792]

Thank you for replying! I'm getting desperate here. The past few days he has been taking 10 min naps, today we got one 48 min nap and that was it!
In response to your questions:

I have always nursed him before any sleep time, how do I get on a different schedule to change this?
When he wakes from his naps he isn't very fussy but I can tell he is tired because he is constantly rubbing his eyes.
We have been attempting to let him cry it out for naps and when he first falls asleep at night but ive found that he spends entirely too much time in the crib crying for my liking. I need another method!

How long after his morning waking should his first nap be?
And how many naps should I be aiming for at this point?

[Kellyjs]

Have you read any of Tracy's books at all?

Her method is one of an EASY plan. That's eat, activity, sleep, you time. Always in that order. (Except when the LO's get older then it might be EEASY, or even EAEASY).

The idea is not to feed to sleep and concentrate on teaching your LO how to self-settle for naps and BT. We do not support cry it out in any which shape or form on this site as Tracy believed this broke the bond of trust between a baby and its caregiver. Tracy and we believe that your presence will eventually help teach them to self settle. This means using ssh/pat (the link I posted before).

I would aim for the first nap to be around 2hrs after waking for the day. I would feed on waking, do 2hr activity then try and settle in the cot without feeding to sleep. This may mean ssh/patting for a little while, just please be with him in the beginning stages as some crying is to be expected when you change what he's used to.

I would aim on getting at least 2 good naps of 1.5hrs and a CN of around 45mins at this age with a day length no longer than 12.5hrs total.

So something like this:

Wu 6.30
E
A 2hrs
S 8.30-10
E
A 2hrs
S 12-1.30
E
A 1hr 45 (so you get an UT nap)(this may take some tweaking as some lo's won't go down before a full A time)
S 3.15-4
E
A 2 hrs
S 6
If he wakes before 4hrs after BT I'd try and settle using ssh/pat. Afterwards, I would feed. Then again for any subsequent WU's in the night.

I'll be back in a mo to post some more links for you to read through. Please do take the time to look through them as they're very helpful and are taken directly from Tracy's book.

How does all this sound otherwise?

Starting EASY - all you need to know and more!

Starting E.A.S.Y. at Four Months or Older

Research on why 'cry it out' and 'controlled crying' is NOT recommended!

[tstewart7792]

Well our sleep situation isn't getting any better..
We tried rearranging his feedings so he wasn't going down for a nap right after nursing but the shh pat and PUPD methods don't seem to work for us. I couldn't get Nathan to stay on his side for the shh pat so I tried just leaving my hand on his chest but it only makes him more mad. He starts screaming so I tried the PUPD method which again, only makes him more mad. Eventually I resorted to sitting on the floor next to his crib shushing him but out of his sight and that didn't really work either. What else can I try? He's taking 30-40 min naps and is waking up every 2 hours at night. Help Please!!!!

[Kellyjs]

Ok, first off it's great you're not feeding to sleep anymore. Well done you!

What's his easy looking like now? It may be he's either OT or UT for those naps so not settling as well.