Ummm...how do we do GW?

[Kirsten~]

I feel stupid asking this question, but I'm really not sure. DD is 2.5yo, and we were having awful BT screaming and tantrums. I didn't think we could get there, but DH has figured out a recipe that will get her to sleep when he is in the room (she normally would NEVER sleep if we were there). It is taking anywhere from 30 mins to 90 mins for him to get her to sleep each night, but she is not screaming or crying. He is currently staying until she is completely asleep.

So now what? Clearly this is not sustainable (and he is not loving spending every night in her room), but how do we go about extracting him without upsetting the apple cart (aka crazy, spirited toddler!)? 

[Truly Blessed]

Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

Hi Hun, please find a helpful link above.

If you are happy with her routine  then I think you are right GW would be best for her. Has she been an independent sleeper in the past 

I have used it many times, and DS is spirited, so if you can get to grips with it, it could be a good call for you, as you can use it during any regression. For us WI/WO would absolutely infuritate Sam, until he was a lot older than this.

So, here's what I would do, and by the way you DH can take turns doing this, which means DD knows you are on the same page. Put a chair by her cot/bed, which is she in    Sit sideways, and when you speak only use your chosen sleepy phrase, for eg: It's sleepy time Sweetheart, or something which would be familiar to her. Avoid eye contact sitting in the chair, it may be an idea to sit out of reach, but if she is in a bed, it will be a little different, so let me know. It might be an idea for you to have ear plugs, this may sound cruel, but Tracy recommended it, we are only human and the noise does get to you, especially the pitch of a screaming 2.5 year old you will still be able to hear her, but it will make it easier for you and help you to stay calm. Use the sleepy phrase in a very calm voice, often loud whispering will transfer over the noise, strangely enough. Don't over use it, and just sit it out until she finally lies down. If she has a comforter/cuddly toys, I will bet my back teeth she will throw them on the floor. When she does this, the first time give them back, the second time keep for 1 minute, third time 2 minutes and so on, until she decides it's not worth it My best guess would be that you're in for the long haul on night 1, sorry, it could take a long time and your patience will need to be at it's best, so pick your night to start. Maybe white noise in babies room would be a good idea too. Once she is asleep wait for 15 minutes, or until you are sure she has gone over properly, otherwise she'll pop up like a 'jack in the box' and you'll have to start again. If she wakes in the night, repeat the process, hang in there, the MOTN stints are the hardest Once she is calmer at PD turn your back and stay on the chair, next step move the chair to the door, next step stand in the door with the door open and next step WHOOP WHOOP! stand outside the door  .

Like I said DS is spirited, but the good thing about spirited LO's is that they very much like structure. Sam flails in the wind if he doesn't have clear messages, so hopefully once she has it and you have broken the habit, things will speed up.

My first time sleep training Sam was when he was 10 months old, up ever 1.5 hours due to teething and feeding him to sleep, it took 5 nights for him to sleep through, consistency, calmness and determination, spirited LO's read your very thoughts, and if you are not confident in what you are doing she will hang you out to dry lol Does it sound like I know her personally LOL 

Let me know if she is in a bed, and how this sounds Hun.

(HUGS)

x.

[Kirsten~]

Thanks. She is in a bed, and she is also very spirited. She was an independent sleeper before, although she has always been one to fight sleeping.
Right now, DH is lying in her floor and playing music for her on the iPod. He reminds her gently to get back in bed or lie down, depending on what she is trying to do. Then when she is good and asleep, he leaves.

Same here- WI/WO makes her crazy and the screaming is unbelievable!

Thanks for the explanation. Makes sense to me. I'll talk to DH about it. He doesn't always like my suggestions, but he also hates doing this long BT thing every night. I'd help, but I've got the refluxing newborn - our house is a real blast right now!

[Truly Blessed]

Kirsten, it sounds as though there are only small changes to be made. If DH sits on the floor/chair and doesn't make eye contact, maybe tries to stick with 1 sleep phrase when she gets out of bed, he is doing GW, following the steps towards the door as things improve. It's just the music that isn't part of the official plan, but if it helps her relax, perhaps you could play an appropriate CD, maybe relaxing classical music continuously and in the background. I am just a little uncertain about the music, because there is a chance it becomes a 'prop'    but I know others who have used it. I think the main thing is DH isn't the DJ, as to DD that is going to be interacting with her IYKWIM  and possible reason for conversation on her part 

x.