Please help- exhausted and going back to work!!!

[Laineybobs]

Please help as I'm at end of my tether. Going back to work next week and I'm exhausted!

We have a 10 month old, I'd say spirited baby. Has hit all his milestones early and has recently started walking.

For the last 4 months we have been battling the 530 wake up. The minute he wakes he cries. Husband goes into him and tries to resettle, often he is in there trying to get him back for an hour until he brings him to me at half 6 for a feed ( he is a bf baby). Occasionally he will get him back to sleep at 6ish for an hour until 7.

In terms of napping he was doing well - would take an hour and half one from 930 until about 11 and then another one about 3 until 330ish and then bedtime between 7 and half 7. But will still wake at half 5 on the dot every day! We have tried later bedtime doesn't make a difference!

If he sleeps until 7am which is rare we struggle to fit all his naps in, as I find he wants to sleep at half 3 until after 4 so isn't tired for bedtime! However if he doesn't get enough nap time I find he is so grumpy and overtired!

We have done w2s for his naps which work well and I did it last week for a week for his night time sleep - it did work and he slept until 615 but then when I stopped he started waking at half 5 again!!!

He is teething this week but this waking has been going on a lot longer than that! I just don't know what to do!!!!

His routine is like this:

Wakes 530 - sometimes back until 615
E - 630 (bf)
A - solids and play
S 10 - 1120/30
Y

E - drink and lunch 1215
A playtime
S 3 - 330/345
Y

E - 5pm
A bath time at 630
S - bf and then in bed between 7 and 730 tho can sometimes wake a few times after going down for first 1hr or so!
Y

When he goes back to sleeps until 7am it goes something like this:

E 7am
A
S 1030 - 12
Y

E 1pm
A
S 330-4/415
Y

E 5pm
A
S 730pm but often wakes a few times after going down
Y

Any help would be much appreciated! I really don't know what else to do but I can't see me coping at work all day feeling how I currently am!!!

[Kellyjs]

Hey hun, it's the pits when they start doing this! I'm afraid it's the start of the 2-1 transition. Have a look at this link and let me know if you have any questions From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older)

Quite frankly I think you're expecting too much day sleep now as well as an 11.5hr night. My DD was well on the way to one nap at this age but at the beginning of the transition we were doing 1x1.5hr nap, 1x 45mins nap and an 11hr night.

[weaver]

Agree with Kelly.  I think it's time to start thinking about capping naps

[Laineybobs]

Hi ladies
Thank you both for your replies so helpful!!
Just a few questions! Is 10.5hrs at night enough - for the days we don't manage to get him back after half 5am?? And if we don't how do I manage naps then?

Also any advice on which nap to start capping? For example today he went down at half 10, slept for 30, went back down at 215 and slept until 345ish so is that what I shouldbe looking for with a 7pm bed? Or does he need a longer A before bed to make sure he is tired enough??!

Thank you so much, I didn't mean to sound ungrateful for how he sleeps at night, it was mpre just advice on how to manage him when he doesn't sleep well and is a grumpy monster!!!!!

[weaver]

When you're getting towards the end of doing 2 naps, it's not unusual to have a 13 hour day, so don't panic.

Sorry gotta run now but will look again later/first thing tomorrow.  I'm sure others will be here in the meantime.

[Kellyjs]

ITA with Anne. A 13-hr day is to be expected really. Because of those 2 long naps he's getting 13.5hrs sleep in a 24hr period which is just about right, I just think we need to tweak it so there's more NT sleep and less DT sleep iykwim?

It really does depend about the nap capping. It can take a bit of trial and error. Many with EW like yours do better on a capped first nap and a longer pm nap. For us, we had EW though but I could never get the A time right after the short nap to ensure a decent long one in the pm. Mine is one of those infuriating lo's who can do a full A on very little sleep.

What you did today sounds great. A 7pm BT would be what I would shoot for but my DD has always preferred a shorter A to bed. Again, this can take a bit of tweaking to find out what will work best for your LO. So I would try a 7pm BT and let us know how it goes?

[Laineybobs]

Hi ladies
wanted to give it a bit of time before giving an update but things have improved! Tho still needing some advice from you. His EASY is a bit like this just now:

Wake @ 615
E 620
A
S 1015 (for 30-40 mins)
Y

E - snack at 11
A - lunch
S 1415 for 1hr 10/20
Y

E snack at 4
A dinner, massage, stories
S 1915/1930
Y

so we seemed to have moved past the half 5 wake up in morning but we are now finding its more difflcult to settle him at bedtime some nights, dont know if it might be overtired, as he seems to fight his sleep. I wouldnt say undertired because he looks tired, relaxed, sleepy. He will often now wake, 30-40 mins after going down, often after a 10 min battle to get him to sleep, and some nights will wake again around midnight. Hubby will go in and will only take a min or two to get him back to sleep.

also wondering if the morning A is too long, its about 4 hours? with the next one being 3hr15 after a 30 min nap and then 3hr15/30 to bedtime? Does that sound ok? Any advice??

[Kellyjs]

Sorry for the late reply hun. I'm think slightly OT by BT. Waking after one sleep cycle is classic OT here in this house.

I'm still thinking that second nap might be a tad UT too. Perhaps you could add another 10-15mins onto that second A then take 15mins off the last A? So something like this:

Wu 6.15
A 4hrs
S 10.15 for 30-40 mins
A 3.5hrs
S 2.30 hopefully for 1.5hrs
BT 3hrs after wu from nap so 7pm to be asleep by 7.15

Wdyt? yes, that first A is long but are you waking him from that nap? And it does look like the wu in the morning is better, so I might be tempted to leave as is and play around with that last A to BT to get that right x

[Laineybobs]

Thanks for replying! I think it is a case of just playing arond with it! Tho we had a half 5 wake up this morning, first time in about a week and he just wouldnt go back. WOke up crying and was still obv tired but wouldnt settle. Im trying to figure out what it was yesterday that might have been wrong, and i think maybe OT?

His easy yesterday was:

wake 615
e - bf and then solids
a
s 1015 (30 mins - we woke him)
y

e- 11
a - lunch at 1230
s 1415 for 1hr 20
y

e - snack at 4pm
a
s - 720 but took about 10 mins to settle and woke loads in first hour
y

Im scared in some ways to give him any longer than 1hr 50 over the day as i find if he has closer to 2 hours, he seems to wake aerlier in morning, perhaps because he is UT? so should i just try earlier bed time tonight - maybe aim for 3.5hrs A time after last nap so try for 7pmish bed??

Thank you so much for replying, its helping so much!

[Kellyjs]

I'd aim for earlier than that hun. Perhaps 3hrs after wu from nap for BT? It's looking like he's OT by BT x

[Laineybobs]

Hello
We have just had another 530 wake up where we can't get him back to sleep? Is that OT? Yesterday he napped for 30 and then 1hr 20 so woke at 345 and then went straight to sleep at 720, no waking until 530? But he woke crying?? I can't figure out if it's OT? And whether to give him closer to 2hr nap sleep in day to let him catch up or try early BT tho think 3hrs after second nap wake up he isn't tired enough??! Feel like we're going backwards!!

[Kellyjs]

Does sound a little OT hun. What did you do in the end?