I need help tackling multiple sleep issues with my 4.5 month old boy!! This will be a doozy for sure so I will try to simplify in effort to avoid a novel:
NAPS/DAYTIME: 4.5 months old, cannot get on EASY bc he is a lazy nurser and only has snacks most of the time. By the time he is sleepy he is hungry again. I live with my MIL who, in efforts to help during the day, started rocking and singing him to sleep, then lets him sleep on her. She won't put him down (even at my request) bc she can't stand him even whimpering slightly, and I'm running after a noisy spirited toddler (between the 2, the baby is easier for her to handle if she is helping out). I can't leave her out of the process of helping but she is elderly and there is a language barrier and she doesn't take direction well so I can't rely on her to implement any routines. We have no solid routine because of the nature of our days. Needless to say he will not sleep on his own, and at night ( and during the day when she is not around) I have to nurse him to sleep. If I nap him by nursing, I can almost never put him down once asleep and even if I do, he wakes early. He always naps short, even in my arms. With my MIL sometimes he sleeps hours but that's on her body.
NIGHT: He knows night from day, but is an inconsistent night sleeper, back and forth between 5-7 hr stretches and every 1.5hr wakings. He has a solid bedtime routine, but won't go to sleep w/o nursing or bottle, and I have spent from 8-10:45 most nights getting him in the crib. The second I put him in he usually wakes up. 10:45 seems to be his self-appointed bedtime, but even sometimes it's later. It's difficult to start bedtime any earlier than 8, as my toddler goes to bed at 8 and he has a bedtime routine as well that i need to be part of. I can't overlap bc toddler is very disruptive and interfering if I'm doing anything with baby. I have taken to co-sleeping after a many nights of frequent wakenings and now he is more attached to the boob than ever. When we do cosleep he wakes up and roots around frequently, with the exception being in morning hours where I can actually sneak away and leave him in bed sometimes for 2 hrs (but he loves his face to be dangerously smushed against pillows or the bed!!) Because the times of sleep are so inconsistent, there is no solid wake time. Its usually at whatever point I have woken up (only bc toddler woke up) that he will get anywhere from 1-2 hrs more sleep then cry for me bc I'm not there and then he starts his day. Even when he was going into crib at night and after night wakings, he would only sleep in our bed once daylight hit.
ANOMALIES: There have actually been times here and there that he fell asleep on his own after being put down for a minute, or in the stroller or car, or with coaxing in a swaddle in boppy or bouncy seat, but I can count them on my fingers. It is certainly not consistent, but those times SEEM to occur when there is some more consistency from one day to the next, or when there has been even a hint of an EASY schedule, or when my MIL was out of town or had not handled him for some time.
OTHER PROBLEMS: The slightest sound seems to wake him up, and when in the stroller or car, the slightest bump or even stopping does the same. My toddler is very noisy and spirited, requiring much of my attention. I have turned to TV to pacify him but I am desperately trying to break that as well. There have been MANY times that he was sleeping soundly then woken up by toddler shrieks and screams. I am never sure if he is still hungry, which makes it difficult to determine if he is waking or crying for fatigue or hunger (diaper output is very good though) and he might even have a bit of silent reflux. Although I am sure he is overtired a lot, he only gets really fussy about it at night.
WHAT HAVE I DONE? I have swaddled which worked to get him into those 5-7 hr stretches but didn't continue to work all the time. Tried paci but he usually just takes it right out after making a face. I have a noise machine which I now use religiously. I tried EASY but like I said he eats too frequently. I tried pu/pd last 2 nights in a row but he was so shrill just even being put down that I gave up both nights. He did NOT want to be comforted in the crib. First night was almost 3 hrs of trying and after 1 hr last night I decided to come here to find out if it should even be the 1st plan of attack for me. I tried getting him to put his fingers in his mouth to soothe but he only actually did it once or twice during the day and for pu/pd he wasn't having any of that! He also doesn't seem to respond to shush pat unless I am also bouncing him.
SO WHAT NOW? What do I focus on first? Do I tackle early wakings, short naps, sleep props, making bedtime earlier, getting him to sleep through noise, or the overtiredness that he is surely experiencing? I thought pu/pd was the best place to start but maybe not?
If anyone is still reading, please help!!
