Waking in crib after transition from family bed

[scheaashby]

Ok so my night situation is all over the place and I need to sort it out, but I'm not exactly sure which areas to address first. Baby girl is 6 months. We started transitioning to her crib from family bed around 4 months. She transferred well at initial bedtime and then I would bring her to the family bed at first wake up (midnightish) to breastfeed and she would stay there for the remainder of the night.

So now, I'm trying to get her to stay in the bed all night without bringing her to my bed, BUT if I don't she will stay up for an hour or hour and a half before falling back to sleep! (She takes a pacifier and will be happy if I am holding her. She will lay down if I lay my head on hers or have my hand on her back and as soon as I back away she pops her head up. And if she sees me walk away she cries - and then fine if I get close again - attached much 😍 I typically manage that hour for the 1 am wake up and then at the 4 am wake up I bring her in bed, because, well, I'm exhausted. (Also have a 3 yo who is a great sleeper in his own bed).

I've tried different things (skipping 1am feeding, removing dream feed, adding dream feed, etc., but nothing consistent enough to interpret results) So my question is should I stop a feeding, stop bringing her in the family bed, how to get her to settle and not stay up for an hour in the middle of the night. I haven't been consistent even with the 1am stay in the crib cause after an hour sometimes I want to break down and cry so I just bring her to bed with me because we are all peaceful and happy there.

Here is our info
Exclusively breastfed (feeds on both sides)
No solid foods (we tried at 5 mo with doctor recommend but she was so constipated and grumpy we are waiting a few weeks)
Uses a pacifier

EASY schedule
7 am wake up and eat
10 nap (typically 1 hr)
11 eat
1:30 or 2:00 nap ( typically 1 1/2 hr - 2 1/2 hr)
3:30 eAt
6:00 eat bedtime
9:30ish dream feed or feed when wakes up independently
1am night waking (feed, awake  1 hr)
4 am night waking (feed - bring to family bed)
6 am night waking (feed in family bed)
( the night wakings aren't alwYs exactly at the time, but typically around same time consistently every night)

[katie80]

Honestly, I think it's just a matter of consistency. If you've tried to get her to stay in her crib, but have always ended up bringing her back into bed, then she's never had a reason to stay. It's normal for LOs to be awake for 1hr+ when you're trying to get them to do something new at night. They don't understand it, they've always known another way. But, if you stick with it, she will go back to sleep quicker and quicker and one night you won't have to settle her anymore.

I've never weaned co-sleeping with an infant, but have had to wean NFs with both my boys. IIWY, I'd set up a mattress on her floor and settle her with you there for several nights. You can still feed every 4-6hr, whatever you decide, but then put her back in the crib and help her settle (hold a hand on her, pat her, stroke her, whatever, but keep her in the crib). Then, you can gradually move your mattress back out of the room over a period of time. You could start on a weekend or secure some help for a week, so that you can rest during the day when she naps and the broken night sleep doesn't seem quite so daunting. Does she go to sleep independently at naps and bedtime?

Here's a link with info from Pantely's Gentle Removal Plan that goes well with BW methods. It may be helpful for you as well... GRADUALLY WEAN CO-SLEEPING:HELP YOUR BABY TO FALL BACK TO SLEEP ON HIS OWN

The other thought I had is that you may be expecting a bit too much night time sleep with such an early bedtime, especially if she regularly takes a 2-2.5hr nap in the afternoon. I think I might push it out to 6:30 at least, possibly 7.

What do you think?