13 month old - very OT and sleep is a mess these days

[calgal22002]

Please help. LO is a sweetie and has always had a a bit if trouble STTN, but we managed and we were doing okay getting up once a night. Of late, she has started waking for long stretches at night, waking very early in the morning and refusing to go down for a 2nd nap. She has always had a bit of a weird day schedule, but again, it worked for us and we stuck with it.

In the past:

WU at 8:00
Nap at 11:00
WU at 1:00
BT at 7:00
NF at 4:00AM

Sometimes those times shifted a bit but give or take an hour, they were predictable. She only took 1 nap, but she slept in until 8/8:30 and had a 13 hour night.

Now:

WU 6:00/6:30
Nap at 9:30 if we manage it get that far
WU at 11:00 (yesterday was a but better nap was from 10:30-1:30)
BT at 6:30
NW at 11:30-12:45
NW at 3:30-4:45

An attempt to do a nap later in the day is generally unsuccessful either because I have to go get the older kids from school or because LO is refusing. One time she had a second nap and then bedtime went nuts. She was up until 9:30 and then screamed and screamed (if we held her or out her down it made no difference and she was super angry).

The worst part is the extended NW. Generally I try to give her a glass if water as a first resort. Then I out her back down and she is comforted and quiet, but then she doesn't settle and gets progressively more upset. Then I give her a diluted bottle of milk and she gulps it down and goes to bed. This happens even if I start with the bottle - she drinks a small amount, pushes it away and then she doesn't settle, so I go back in after the she complains and I give her the rest if the bottle. She then settles and I go back to bed.

I'm so tired after a week if this. Help!

[creations]

Hi there
Sorry you didn't get any replies yet.  Your routine does look a bit unusual. A few questions:
Has your LO always liked a very short first A time and a long A to BT?
What age was she when she dropped to one nap?
Has that NF always been in place (I see there are now 2 NWs but I'm interested in the one in your first EASY where things were more predictable)?  And do you feed to sleep at BT or nap?

[calgal22002]

Thanks for replying!

Yes, she always had a short A/Nap/Long A/BT routine. I have tried to extend her morning A to 4 hours and it was not good. She would get cranky at 3 hours and then by 4 hours was OT and wouldn't settle and then had a short nap.

She has been on one nap for a few months now (so maybe since 9 months or so). It seems like she substituted sleeping in for the morning nap. These days she is all over the map on wake ups, which is complicating things.

She has had the NF for as long as I can remember. I tried to get her on water, and it went well but she still would wake up and have water. If I went in and didn't give her anything she would get hysterical and scream until we gave her some water. Then at some point even the water sometimes made her angry and she wouldn't settle until she got a bottle. It is always diluted to half-strength (so she doesn't get too many of her calories at night).

We give a bottle before bed, but never put her down asleep. She always self-soothes for BT and naps. Before her nap I rarely give a bottle, unless we had a messy morning and her meals are off-synch. She is a pro at putting herself to bed and has very little need for a wind-down or long routine to get her to sleep. She just grabs her blanket and sucks her thumb. On the other hand, if she is not tired, there is nothing I can do to get her down. So when I tried to get her to take an afternoon nap, it was a failure.

I will point out that since I posted she has come down with a cold and has a low fever, so it is possible her sleep is disrupted from that.  Today she woke at 7:00, had a nap at 10:00 for and hour and then at 1:30 for an hour. She is happy and hanging out with her sibs now. I am nervous she will not go down without a fight though (it is 7:30 and she is not showing any signs of being ready for sleep).

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Yk I wonder if the early nap is kind of a result of the disrupted nights and that you are in a bit of a loop...nw = early nap = ot by bedtime = nw = early nap...and so on!

Personally I would stick a non spill cup of water in her bed and direct her to that if she is thirsty and stop the bottles at night, would be very tough going for a few nights but at the end at least you might be able to eliminate that as a cause of the nw.

[creations]

I agree with Heidi. The night bottle really needs to go as it is disturbing everyone's sleep and she really doesn't need any food at night at this age.  I also agree it would be very tough going for a few nights - possibly more so because she knows in the past you have given in and given the bottle of milk so she knows if she keeps going she will get it eventually - it's something to tackle when you are *really* ready to stand your ground.
No matter how bad the screaming so long as you are with her she knows she is safe. She will be very frustrated though.  On the odd occasion when my DS got himself super worked up over something I took him out of his bedroom to change the scene and calm him down, rare and not something you want to get into the habit of I'm just mentioning as it sounds like she'll really go for it.  Another thing I found helpful when they get lost into that zone of screaming is to use a calm but firm/instructional tone in your voice rather than too-soft or pleading tone. LOs feel more secure when they know we are in control and are confident with what we are doing, the firm tone (along with cuddles and sympathy for their frustration) can help them realise this is a non-negotiable situation, Mummy knows best and the bottle is not coming.

[calgal22002]

Thanks for the encouragement - I will wait until this latest sickness passes and then summon my strength